I feel inferior to my boyfriend?...Read farther.?

Question

My boyfriend and I have known eachother for a fair amount of time( 5yrs. +) but we have been in a relationship for 1 yr. and 7 months. We are n our 20's. lately things have been different. I do not seem meaningful to him like i use to. He only likes to watch tv. when we r together or we will go to movies. We do the same things all the time. I tell him i would like to do other things but he has this attutide or Excuse everytime. He never wants to do things with me...one on one time. Our time together has to always consist of one of my sisters. He shows so much interest more in them. I told him this...and all he does is ever deny. I love him alot and there are many other things we have been through. He says i cannot carry a conversation b/c he seems to always start them. he carries great conversations with all my older sisters, parents and others. he will not stay up late with me, he rather play a game on the computer. He barely talks to me on the phone.
He rushes me off the phone weh i call him just to say hi or want to talk for a while. Everything is different. I dont know what to do. I cry all the time, and do not have anyone to talk to. When he is with me, all he does is sleep or watch tv. He says since we have been together for awhile there really isnt much to talk about. this hurt me, and i told him. Once hes so nice and then he acts like im not there. he says he loves me so much and is in love. sorry to say...i rarely believe this. It hurts me. and when i tell him he says there is always something wrong. That is not the case. i just try to express myself. What should i do,a nd how should i go about this.

Answer 1

Its not uncommon for conversation to decrease over time in a relationship. Most couples tend to fall into a routine over time and it doesnt mean either of them feel anything less, its just a part of it. Lets face it, theres not much new to learn from someone you have been with for awhile.
You say you have already expressed your feelings on how he is showing you less affection and not spending time with you. I would start going out with my friends and stuff. When he asks you about it, just tell him you are tired of sitting at home all the time and if he isnt going to take you out, you are going out with friends.
I dont think you will remedy the conversation, unless of course you guys do something together so you can later talk about it. See thats what makes conversation....u gotta do something in order to have something to talk about.
I would try to express once again in a heart to heart how this is really bothering you. Make him understand how you feel and that you arent just whining about it. Tell him you are seriously affected by it, and its getting old.
If he cares for you and your feelings, he will work with you on it.
If he doesnt care what your feelings are on the matter, he isnt worth wasting anymore prescious time on.
Tell him to work with ya, or you are walking if you are that serious about it.
GOod luck to you hun.

Answer 2

Sweetness, you need to RUN! I know its hard but this is my EXACT situation 3 years ago. Basically you need to let him know that you are serious--if you don't spark his interest anymore you will have no problem finding someone who will interested in you. Yes 5 years+ is a long time in quanity but what about QUALITY? It might be time for you to realize that you might have have just outgrown each other. You sound like a nice person, don't get taken advantage of because you're worth more than that. This doesn't necessarily mean that he is a bad person or anything. Both of you just might be on two different levels now and the longer you wait to take action the worse it will get. Who knows, maybe if he realizes he's going to miss out on a good thing he'll shape up? Good Luck and Never Settle!

Answer 3

I think either one of 2 things:
1) He has lost interest in you
2) The first part of the relationship where you are both crazy for each other has been past.

If the answer is 1) you probably need to leave and if the answers is 2) which happens in every relationship you need to talk and do new stuff that will bring you together

Answer 4

I don't feel inferior to any woman but I do think that many women try to make their men feel inferior starting with their mothers.

Answer 5

First off, you need to get a hold of yourself! Stop crying. Boys hate that. In your attempt to rekindle your relationship you are obviously driving him nuts. Although it's hard, give him a little space. Stop having the "us" talks and just let things go. You've already told him how you feel and you're not going to fix anything by bugging him and telling him he isn't paying attention to you.

The next time you talk to him tell him that you've been bummed out lately and you feel like you've been unfairly pressuring him to change (I know that isn't true, but you need to act like he didn't do anything wrong so he'll stop acting defensive and uncommunicative). Tell him that to make up for it you'd like to take him out to dinner and a movie: he picks where you eat and what you see. Before you go to dinner make a list of possible conversation topics and INITIATE the conversation (I don't care if it sounds nerdy-- he just said that you never start the conversation). DON'T bring up your relationship and just act like you did when he first started dating you. To end the night break out some new lingerie and make it all about him.

Sometime when guys start withdrawing from a relationship it means that they aren't getting anything out of it anymore. My boyfriend recently started withdrawing from me so I did the same thing I just told you to do (our night consisted of Chinese food, some kung fu movie, and amazing red panties). After that night I realized that everything we did was about me: we hung out with MY family, we slept at MY apt, we went to dinner with MY friends, we did the things I wanted to do... he was putting me ahead of himself (which was great...) but then started resenting me for not doing the same. Now we're stronger than ever... and there are a lot more Chinese food and kung fu nights.

It sounds like you fell into the same trap I did. If you want to keep him, you need to put him first but not to the point that you lose yourself. Try to remember what things were like when you first got together and go back to basics: take charge and SHOW him that you care, don't just tell him.

Good luck!
Yikes.. that was a lot longer than I had expected

Answer 6

Dear...Im afraid no one here can tell you what to do, evidently youre not confortable anymore with this relationship but youre the only one who is living it, so take a desition and take over your life, just keep in mind that if a person does not make grow, or feel great about yourself or is holding you back anyway its so not worth it...

Answer 7

Please find another boyfriend. If he doesn't make you feel good anymore, then it is not working for you. What's the point of staying together...besides all of the time you have been together. Perhaps if you separate for awhile, he may realize he does miss you and will show you the interest he should be showing to his girlfriend. If you continue on this path with him, your self esteem will suffer. You can find someone who is interested and loving toward YOU. Good luck... we've all been there, I think, at one point or another.

Answer 8

Ask him if you both can go for a holiday away from the routine of the house.maybe at least on day one night near the beach costs about 100 dollar foa couple.
good luck, you both need relaxation and recharge.
give yourself a chance to breath, relax and do exercise or your favourite activities, try to study a course of your interestt , work casually!

Answer 9

that is horrible i have alot of suggestions of what could be wrong if u want u can email me [e-mail] im only 13 but i can think of alot of things you really dont deserve to be going threw all this horrible pain.... there is a possibility he could be cheating but i dont know you said he rushes u off the phone so that is possible...if u need any more advice email me so this wont go public...
HOPE THIS HELPS.... i mean it i will reply im here 2 help not get points....

Answer 10

It sounds like he really isn't into you. You are young. Get a new life and let a real man woo you and prove himself. Never settle for less.