how to move on with life when your abuser never acknowledge the hurt he/she caused you, if they can only apologize its so much easier to forgive and make up, but what if they don't?
2007-02-05 12:22:24 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Do you remember being younger and being made to apologize to someone? Even if you were wrong, you resented it, and you didn't mean your apology, and nothing was fixed.
If they can't or won't admit they were wrong, then you can't make up, but you can forgive and let go of your hurt, and then make sure they can't hurt you again.
2007-02-05 12:35:09 · answer #1 · answered by Robin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read the book "Bad Childhood Good Life" by Dr. Laura. It has helped me immensely. The one thing you have to realize, and I have come to this finally after 10 years, you will never change that person, you can only change yourself. Dr. Laura says in her book, that you can have a chiuahua (abusive parent) and wish all day long that you had a doberman (something different) and it wont happen. Not ever. Wishing does nothing. The sooner you accept the "chiuahua" that you have the better you will be.
Your best bet is going to just live with it. If they eventually appologize, great, but dont count on it. You cant let that back from living your life. All you can do is let it make you a better person: do NOT perpetuate the abuse cycle. Do better for yourself and others than was done to you. Remember, you cant move forward when you are only looking back. This is the best advice I can give you, and it was the best advice given to me. Read some books on the subject, start with the one I mentioned, and if it doesnt get easier, do yourself a favor and find a reputable therapist or someone else trusted that you can talk to about it. Preferably someone who has been there before! Best of luck to you, and be strong!
2007-02-05 12:54:01 · answer #2 · answered by reauxmarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is easier to forgive somebody who apologizes. But often they don't. Somebody who won't apologize and try to make amends cannot be trusted.
You want to have good, loving parents, but you don't. You have to accept that. Don't expect them to be any different, and protect yourself from them. Protect your children from them.
Maybe they don't deserve your forgiveness. But it is not good for you to be weighed down with anger and regret. For your own sake, let this go when you are ready. Don't let your past ruin your life.
They are not in charge anymore. You are.
2007-02-05 12:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
who wants to acknowledge their wrong doings. i say a selfish person that has a heart of iceeee. and then again maybe he does know he has done wrong but cannot come to that point that they want to ask your apologize. some times maybe you should just walk up and say to them i forgive you and this will start the process of healing for you right now your heart is breaking and you need relief too. let it go none is perfect stop looking back in the rear view mirror
2007-02-05 12:59:29 · answer #4 · answered by mishoney 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
one: in there minds they probably think that they did nothing really wrong.
two: they cant face the fact of wat they have done.
three: they are just trying to forget about watever was going on.
four: they might not think you would forgive them.
five: they dont think that they deserve to be forgiven.
six: they think that you wont forgive them .
you might just have to accept wats happened and move on even if it means moving on with out them. well good luck anyways i hope i helped.
2007-02-05 12:36:18 · answer #5 · answered by tina2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't need to have them apologize, everyone knows that what he/she did is wrong, thats good enough.
2007-02-05 12:25:57 · answer #6 · answered by deal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you dont need their appology, you just need to move on
2007-02-05 12:26:42 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
perhaps he/she is not sorry enough to apoligise
2007-02-05 12:29:42 · answer #8 · answered by frank m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋