what is the quickest way of getting over an abusive childhood?

Answer 1

No one can do this quick. If you suffered abuse for 10 years, expect 5 to get beyond it where you can function normally. I came from abuse. I changed myself but it took me years to do it and it was one small step at a time.

Here was my path and it may work for you too:

Get clean, no drugs, no alcohol, no tobacco
Get healthy with good food and exercise
Get an education (High School and then college)
Make friends, high class friends that are clean and normal, no
one that can bring you down. Aspire to be more like them.
Learn to Speak in Public, this gives you strength and confidence
Join Clubs and Hobbies for enrichment and interaction
Learn about Leadership and Use it.
Improve your Self-Esteem, look in the mirror every day for 3
mos and say "I Love You"
Don't Hang Out With Losers or you will beome one
Look for your Perfect mate (not by looks or money)
Save Money, it is directly tied to self-worth. We all strive for
money and can not live without it. Save Save Save

This was the Road I chose to get out of an abusive home of poverty and make something of my life. Be prepared for hard work but in the end it is so worth it. You never have to look back unless you want to.

Answer 2

As I am finding out adversive childhoods are very difficult to get over. I say adversive because there are many people who do not want to recognize the way they grew up as abusive. Not all abuse is physical or sexual. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging.

Any type of abuse can have dramatic effects on people. Your self esteem, self image, thought process, reasoning skills, communication abilities, relationships and personality can all be effected. Not many people realize how life altering an adverse childhood can be. It is difficult to study the cause and effect of such situations. You can do case studies and take reports after the fact, but there is no way to control variables in such situations to test outcomes.

Basicly what I am saying is there is no quick way to get over an abusive childhood. I would like to recomend the use of therapy, or support groups. If these are steps that you are not ready to make, then I suggest finding a good book on the topic. I found The Courage to Heal Workbook very helpful, but I personally could not have completed it without the help of my therapist. She is the one who recommended it to me.

Answer 3

I think "get over" is something that never happens. To a large extent, it depends on HOW abusive it was at home. Sometimes kids are being abandoned for weeks at a time, get pregnant by their own father, get beaten with electric cords or locked in a closet, or grew up in a war torn area with wartime atrocities - these kids I don't think ever "get over it." Again, depending on how severe the abuse is, I really think that a kid's brain doesn't develop properly and once you are an adult, it is too late. you can make it better, but it's like learning the piano or how to speak a second language, it will not come naturally to you. However, you can still make amazing progress. The less abusive the situation was, the better off you will be, and the sooner you get the help, the better off you will be.

I guess my point is, you never really get over it. You think about it less and less, especially if you get professional help, but it is still part of who you are. The big important lesson, I think, is please don't pass it on to the next generation. You owe it to your kids/future kids (if applicable) to get yourself together as best you can and not perpetuate the cycle of abuse. Counseling will really help with that! How quickly improvement comes depends again, on how severe the abuse was, whether you still have to deal with those abusive family members regularly, how "emotionally intelligent" you are (a lot of that counseling stuff is mushy, not factual) and what your base personality is and how good a rapport you have with your counselor. Also, abuse can cause genes for mental illnesses like depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and probably a lot of other illnesses to express themselves, and once you get these mental illnesses, you will always have them. So you can get a lot of nasty fallout from abuse that you will never get over, just like if a parent cut your arm off. You can't force yourself to get better, you just need to do your best.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

There isn't a quick way to get over emotional trauma. That's the funny thing about emotions. I think you're looking at putting in the same amount of time healing that you did enduring the abuse. The saying: Time heals. I personally think that's bologna and it really has never made things less painful, at least in my experience. It just makes them less distal and that in no way equates to less recall or pain.

If it's deleteriously impacting your life, make an appointment with your doctor; h/she will give you a referral to talk to someone. Voice your concern that you are not interested in a time-consuming therapy. Make sure they understand that you want your life and outlook to be better sooner than later and that you don't want therapy or whatever they recommend to make life more stressful than it might be already in dealing with your memories. See what your doc recommends. You can always say no.

Answer 5

Getting counseling will help you immensely to start the healing process.

Answer 6

Verbally abuse those who abused you as a child. Hey, at least I'm honest. It worked for me.

Answer 7

A good therapist who'll help you discover that it wasn't your fault, you ARE a good, worthwhile, valuable, lovable person and you deserve good things. It's hard work, believe you me.

Answer 8

No quick way that I know of... just counseling. It may take years.

Answer 9

By just letting it go and moving on.

Answer 10

Become a parent and harass your own kids.