I feel so lost and depressed right now and need help.?

Question

i feel so lost right now. There was this girl i liked and i asked here out and she shot me down. I tried 3 other girls i liked and had fun hanging out wih and i got shot down as well. it been really getting to me. Whats the point. it just feels like its always going to turn out the same. On top of that im dealing with my friends leaving me over my depression. I had about 10 friends and now i have only 1 that actually stuck with me. Others dont seem to care and i just feel like some abandoned me. It doesnt feel good. I feel worthless and a burden to everyone. I also fell like everyone i know and everyone at school hates me. I don't even like myself now and i hate how i have become but i feel so helpless. I want to tell people but i feel like they will hate me even more if i tell them the reasons or they might think im stupid for letting depression take me over. I just don't know what to do.I really need help.

Answer 1

I know that you may feel abandoned by your friends and feel as if they don't like you anymore because of your depression, but you have to understand dealing with a friend's mental illness or issues can be very hard for them. It can raise a lot of questions for them internally, and a lot of people just have difficulty dealing with it. They don't know what to say, they feel helpless and as if you're not gaining anything out of the friendship with them because they don't see any progress in you. I think when you're depressed and going through hard times it's really important to affirm your friends and let them know that you really appreciate their love and support and that it has made a huge difference to you. I think that ultimately, there are a lot of people who want to help, but they need some encouragement too. Maybe you can try to talk to the people you used to be friends with, and if that doesn't work, maybe try making some new friends. Sometimes when you're depressed it feels as if people hate you or are looking at you in a funny way, but they might be wondering why you seem so unfriendly, never talk with them, or constantly stare at the ground. They might be feeling as if you're snubbing them, and would be happy to get to know you.

Also, since friends obviously mean a lot to you maybe you could try just maintaining your strong relationships with girls as friends as opposed to trying to turn it into a girlfriend. I know that I personally have felt really undervalued and offended when close male friends of mine have asked me to date them. This is because I didn't understand how they could risk losing the friendship for some kind of disaster 1 month relationship. I felt as if I was worth so much more than that, and that they could find a girlfriend anywhere but they couldn't find a friend like me anywhere.

I think it is definitely important for you to talk about your issues and how you're feeling with your friends, but remember, they're friends not therapists. You can't use your friends to constantly talk exclusively about it. Absolutely talk about it with them and I am not saying that people don't want to hear it, but it gets really tiring when people only talk about themselves all the time and never ask you about what's going on in your life. Remember people just love to talk about themselves and feel as if they are interesting. Also - asking people about their lives makes them feel as if you really want to be friends with THEM, that individual, instead of just needing someone who'll listen.

I don't know if you're in therapy, I think it could really help a lot. You might need to go onto antidepressants - although this process takes a while, and it may take a little experimenting to find the right thing for you.

I have come through depression and have many friends who have come through as well. Not only have we made it but we're all really happy and sucessful, working, travelling, have lots of friends and leading rich lives. But senior high, I went from being a little depressed grunge chick to being one of the most popular girls at school. Things can change.

I am really confident that if you get some help and just hang in there that you'll find that life is so worth living and that you will be able to be happy one day. Take good care, IM me if you want to chat more or need a new friend.

Answer 2

Well, I am going through it myself, I have a long list of emotional issues that I am addressing, I am a single mother so let me put it like this from a woman's point.

Women do tend to focus on the future and goals of a man especially if they have their own, or would they potentially be a good father, husband, etc.. it is important not that we all jump into somehthing but really it is life and women are socialized differant. If you are to clingy and needy with a woman you wont get anywhere it is just freaky and that type of man has psycho potential, you cant let this bruise your ego, if you feel sad over every goodbye you have you will live miserable, I just cant live that way, we do fall and bruise it takes a stronger man to stand and rise above, I am learning that right now, I could tell what I am feeling about what am I doing about it, think about you and what you need to do. It isnt really the rejection but you need to evalaute what your doing in your personal affairs are you needing more like for you, not a woman but you becoming a better man getting a better job, etc... see a dr, therapist, talk to good friend,church etc.. Your going through life and it changes we know it does, we get stuck with living so make the best of it, I am learning so much and finally have a little peace coming my way

Answer 3

hey hun,
well at least 1 person stuck by you. that person must be a true friend. dont mind what others think of u now. why not focus on building ur self-esteem? i'm sure there are very good qualities about urself. just try to keep happy, positive, believe in urself... people are attracted to that. stop being so hard on urself. believe me, i've felt the way u felt many times. but there were also times where i felt so good about myself, life was amazing, and people were attracted to that. dont give up! i kno u have it in u!

Answer 4

to deal with your depression problem, you need to set your priorities in life.

you seem young, and have your whole life ahead of you.

try to think of it like "I'm a man, i shouldn't fall for every bump in the road. I need to keep my head high". The more you encourage yourself, and try your best to focus on what's really important, the more you'll control the depression.

You're better than to throw your whole life just because some girls. be cheerful. that would attract girls too, no one want to hang out with someone who only bring sadness to their lives.

Answer 5

My dear,
This too shall pass. If you want a method of getting back some of your vim and optimism, try e f t Go to http://www.emofree.com/AffiliateWiz/aw.aspx?B=1&A=529&Task=Click&TargetURL=emofree.com and then go to the bottom of the page and you will find a link so that you can learn to do this easy-to-learn, easy-to-apply therapy. If you seriously want to let go of the doldrums and feel happy again-- NOW-- then you will have success when you practice this simple technique.

God bless!

Answer 6

actually i can tell your a beautiful but lost person and i wouldnt turn you down.i was once depressed but i think you just need to look in the mirror and see whats beautiful .i have never,ever seen ugly eyes(unless you have lazy eye,tough ****) everyday i see average people but i look closer and see beautiful eyes .you have them.dont be so down.if you know you have a fixable flaw like(always is stingy) try to improve it.make a list of your goals and start small .go on 43things.com when you see all you have acheived you take a look at yourself and say wow i really did it

Answer 7

im sorry you are feeling so crappy. if you think you are truly experiencing depression, seek a doctor's opinion. if that is what it is, it is very important to get the help you need. dont forget, mental health is just as important as physical, if not more so. theres no shame in seeking help. it happens to so many people. it doesnt mean you need drugs either, you might just need someone to talk to. sometimes it helps to talk to a total stranger believe it or not.