my fiance wants to have a fancy wedding party, either me or my familly can not afford it. what should I do?

Answer 1

why not split the costs of the wedding??? thats what we did. i never really understood why it was the girls job to have her family pay for it, in my opinion.

if they isn't willing to do that, you can just work with that budget and see what you can do. they should understand. get the wedding you want, and can afford.

Answer 2

Recognize that wedding plans are made with both parties involved. Fancy weddings are glamorous and showy, but really aren't necessary to form a committed union.

Honesty and openness about your means is important. Not everyone can afford oppulence

Please also try to avoid the trap of paying for a wedding you can't afford with credit. Keep the belts tight wherever you can. That doesn't mean beign stingy, but you can show good faith by being a bit frugal in all areas, including the gown, the cake and such. You might also want to consider what you are expecting of bridesmaids and the maid of honor; show a bit of frugality there by not requiring expensive dresses; perhaps the men in the wedding party could wear suits instead of tuxedos.

Keeping the costs down in other areas can free up a bit of money, while showing everyone that you are considering their budgets as well.

Good luck.

--Dee

Answer 3

I think you need to discuss the wedding details and costs together. See what can be afforded, why are the things either don't want to give up about the wedding and go from there. Just a warning, finances are one of the biggest reasons people divorce. So start out right by discussing your concerns. You should go into a marriage in deabt due to a wedding. that is total nonsense. Save your money and put a down payment on a home.

Answer 4

First off, it's "neither". Secondly, where is it written that the family of the bride or groom pay. I have been married for thirty two years and we payed for our wedding ourselves. It took about a year to save up (I realize that things were cheaper then) but we did it. We both felt that our parents jobs were done. They raised us to be independent individuals. I never understood why anyone would want to throw away all that money for a party. You can have a very nice time without spending a bankroll. Better to put it in the bank or towards something important like a down payment on a house. Same goes for expensive engagement rings. Jewelery is not going to put food on your plate or a roof over your head. Good luck--I think you're going to need it.

Answer 5

Hello,

During the course of one's marriage, you spend a great deal of time discussing money matters. If your and your fiancee's views on money are incompatiable now, what will it be like when you marry? Surely there will be many arguments, for he is unrealistic and not considering your and your parent's lack of finances for a huge wedding.

I would ask my parents the top amount they're willing to spend on everything, then determine how much you can chip in. Tell your fiancee the bottom line - exactly how much you and your family will contribute.

And further, tell him if he wants to have a fancy wedding that will cost more than his and his parents' matching half of the money, then he and his family should foot the bill.

Do not waver in this matter but stand firm.

And I would definately recommend pre-maritial counseling through your church or another agency, to determine if both of you are indeed truly compatiable and realistically entering a marriage.
Resolving such deeply important issues as the discussion of finances will help build a foundation for your marriage.

The main reason people divorce is due to financial disagreements.

The other alternative is to tell him you need to wait until more money is saved up for the wedding. This will also give you more time to see if you are truly ready to wed.

I also caution you to ensure he provides you with complete financial disclosure -- in other words, that you know how much money he has in the bank, that you know of his investments and how he spends and saves money, and that you two discuss how you will manage, budget and save money during the marriage.

I know a woman who entered into marriage, only to learn her fiancee had huge undisclosed debts. Further, I know another bride who thought she was marrying into money, only to learn that her spouse had a gambling addiction.

I would even go so far as to pay a fee and have a criminal record search on him to be sure he has no criminal record. Entering into marriage is entering into a legally binding contract, and you want to be sure you are dealing with an honest man.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Give him the plans for a wedding that you and your family can afford (assuming that your family is helping with the costs). If he wants to add things or change things to make them more elegant or fancy, ask him to pay for them. Be upfront about what you can or can't afford. If he really loves you he will either compromise or offer to help. Good luck!

Answer 7

Bet with your head and not over it. You will regret when all are gone after 4 hours of your fancy wedding. You get stuck with the bills. People don't care or want to know how fancy the wedding was. They come because they have to.

Answer 8

It is a very bad sign if someone is already trying to spend more than can be afforded.
Smart couples have a reasonable party then have a fancy one for their 25th anniversary when they can afford it.
If after you talk it over, if they still want a lavish affair ,
tell them they can have it . . . at THEIR expense.
If they are only after the party , this may not be a good marriage , maybe time to find someone honorable.

Answer 9

All members involved need to sit down together and set a budget. Nowadays, the brides family does not need to pay for everything, with couples living together before marriage, or waiting until they are older to marry, etc. Communication is key here.

Answer 10

She sounds selfish, she needs to understand that you can't afford a lavish affair and that if she truly loves you then that is all that should matter. Being your wife and you her husband who cares about a big wedding. But you really need to talk to her and tell her your family can't afford it you don't want to start your married life in debt.