Would it be wrong to have 2 wedding ceromonies?

Question

His family and I do not get along at all. I know that if I put formal they will show up in jeans. I want one a formal wedding and he wants a backyard Bar BQ. Help! We would elope if it were not for the fact that I am the only girl and I want my father to walk me down the aisle.

Answer 1

If he wants to have a back yard BBQ, just do that as a celebration or reception after the fact. You are always able to do your vows at both (you just can't marry 2 different people!) It would be just like a couple who got married in a court room, but then later decided to have a ceremony in a church (or other location). If you both want to have 2 ceremonies, then that's what you should do.

Answer 2

I think a double wedding is a bit sad, but still worth doing it to satisfy everyone else. Honestly, I would suggest a union of both ideas.

Have a wedding outside, with your beautiful white dress flowing on the grass of the back yard. Require the men to wear tuxedos and have the first session of your wedding ceremony be FORMAL, then on your letters out suggest they bring a pair of relaxed clothes (jeans...etc.) for a real celebration, so you're not all stuffy and totally formal. The ceremony can be beautifully formal, but for the reception, have it be a backyard bar BQ, serve that kind of food, with lights and dancing....it will show a perfect mixture of the love that you two share now.

Plus backyard weddings are always SO much prettier, and everyone will get their way. Your inlaws can suffer being nicely dressed for a little while, and your hubby can get the root-tootin BarBQ he wants.

=] Congrats about getting married, I hope you guys will love each other forever, and that love, will always be more than enough.

Answer 3

Wow. Are you sure you even want this wedding to happen? You are signing up for a life (your entire life!!) with somebody whose family and you "do not get a long at all" - and yet they are still in your life - and would defy your wedding day wishes - and hubby-to-be is not standing up for you. Hmmmmmm.

Your wedding doesn't have to be formal in order for somebody to walk you down the aisle. If you and your fiance cannot agree on jeans vs. a tux - what are you going to do when it comes to things that REALLY matter - like when you'll have kids - and after you have them - how to discipline your children - or whether or not to take out a second mortgage on your house for college educations - etc.

Think hard!! Do you really want to be married to this person? - or do you just want a wedding - - - - - or two?

Answer 4

Why not have something in between? You can still have your dream wedding, including having your father walk down the aisle but it doesnt have to be black tie formal. Sometimes the best weddings are not about the formalities, but the bonding, not just between the bride and the groom, but their families.

Answer 5

You need to compromise with your husband (not his family, but just with him). Find a wedding style that you can both be happy with. If you're going to be married to him for the rest of your life, you'll have to work on productive compromises.

Maybe you could have a formal ceremony and a casual reception? Or a formal wedding day, but have a backyard BBQ for the rehearsal dinner?

Answer 6

Hey I am in kinda the same situation...I want the Princess dream wedding and my fiance wants the backyard shindig in the country!! So instead of trying to make everyone else happy we are going to Vegas in May to elope. I dont have a father so, no one to walk me down the aisle. I would go elope in Vegas and bring your dad along with you to walk you down one of the thousands of aisles...Seperate rooms of course...LOL.

Answer 7

I just cringe at the thought of two ceremonies. While there are times where it makes very good sense - a couple gets married at the courthouse and years later decide they want to have their marriage blessed by the church - to me, once you are married, you are married. Having said that, your situation might almost fall into my mind's category of "understandable."

If you are going to do this, please please PLEASE put some time between the two ceremonies. I attended a wedding that had a church service ceremony in the morning and a civil ceremony only 3 hours later. It felt like I was watching parallel universes; a friend of mine even commented "didn't they do this already?"

All this aside, you and your fiance are going to have to be in agreement as to what you want and 100% clear about what you expect of both of your families. If you can't be united on this, it doesn't bode well for the marriage.

Answer 8

well i was taught a wedding should always be about a bride.. if your soon to be husband can't give you this day then you should really think about other things...and if his family can not respect your wishes then they should not be let in at the reception..people need to put their problems aside.. this whould be your special moment i'm sure they had theirs..as far as a Bar BQ you can have that the next day or as a after party...yall need to come up with a decision that will suite you both

Answer 9

have a formal ceramony at the church and hours later that afternoon have the reception in the backyard like a bar b que this way everybody is happy and your dam feet wont hurt like mine did after 6 hours of being in those heels and your dress wont get messed up and you both get what you want no one is gonna wear jeans in a church it will show no class at all trust me think of all the money you will save you could by a honda accord with the hall money you saved :)

Answer 10

How about a formal wedding with 2 receptions. The formal reception can be the day of the wedding and the back yard B.B.Q can be when you get back from your honeymoon.