She wants it in a working mens club and have 18 year olds there too, meaning that drink will be flowing. I'm not naive enough to think the 16 year old won't get tanked up before hand. Any ideas that I can offer her as an alternative? I've tried stretch limos, dinner, concert tickets...
2007-02-05 11:26:12 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
How about a fun casino night. Or some other form of entertainment for her party. Whilst everyone is entertained they tend to drink less. This however does not work with a disco as dancing tends to make people thirsty. I think you should certainly attend the party yourself. Make sure that your daughter has some food before the party to soak up the alcohol.
2007-02-07 08:04:58 · answer #1 · answered by Ruby D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sigh- isn't it sad?
And the stretch limo is not working?!
Mine turns 15 this month and we are not doing all that much (well- I bought her a gospel singing workshop in London...) but I have promised her a ball for her Sweet Sixteen.
I agree- you are the one giving the party (money talks!) and therefore you can put your foot down.
Afterall- 16 is not yet of age and she really has no business in a Working Mens Club! Having spent sometime, upon my return from India, in the Northeast I am VERY familiar with those kind of places and wouldn't DREAM of letting my daughter into a place like that.
Alcohol... What ELSE does she think is going to happen AT this party of hers?
I would be tempted to keep trying to appeal to her vanity/fantasy and find an action-packed alternative.
I did the limo with a recording studio for my girl's 13th and they all came away with a "record" each! Was brilliant. For the 16th, as I mentioned, we are going to have a ball (well- formal dance) with something fun like a live band for ceilidh music or something. Some folk have moved on to having karaoke parties or posh dinners. Concert tickets coupled with a chance to be seen with peers is always good. If the concert is near enough to the birthday it MAY just swing things.
What about a beauty treatment for her and a couple of friends? If she is not girly (mine is SO girly) then how about a day at the karting track for a nice group? I know it is not the cheapest option but if you provide your own food you'd only be paying for the session.
I think the attraction is the "hang out" factor. WHAT can you think of which would give her equal "kudos" among her peers? I bet an action packed day or a really swish one would give her a serious chance at "competing" with the rest!
Good luck and perhaps you could let us know how you get on? I'd love to know what I have to look forward to! LOL!
2007-02-05 19:45:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The alternative I was given when I was 16 was I could have a party in my basement with 25 people. My parents were allowed to come down at anytime, there was no alcohol or drugs allowed and all smoking had to be done outside.
In the end, 20 of my friends and I set up black lights and a kick *** sound system, partied it up for a few hours and then watched some movies in my basement. They were asked to bring food instead of a gift (I didn't need them all). It was really fun in the end!
If she doesn't want what you suggest, tell her that there is no alternative. I can't imagine what kind of trouble she could get into....
2007-02-05 20:30:27 · answer #3 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her its OK, but you will be having security because you are not willing to take responsibility for any of the kids drinking. Tell her all car keys will be confiscated upon entry and a Breathalyzer will have to be taken before the kids are given back the car keys. If there is any alcohol found at the party, the party will be automatically shut down. If shes willing to abide by those terms, let her have the party. But I will bet she decides to do something different. If she doesn't, rent some security and a Breathalyzer machine and have fun.
2007-02-05 20:50:31 · answer #4 · answered by truthseeker221 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure where you are from that it is legal for 18 year old to drink since in the US the legal drinking age is 21, but you should talk to her about the ramifications of under age drinking and the legalities it might pose if say someone under age drinks, drives and wrecks. In the US if you knowing had the party, served or let Alcohol be served and their is an accident you can be held responsible.
How about you offer the party cost in cash to spend on what she wants like a car? vacation with her closest friend? Usually works with my kids....
2007-02-05 19:38:47 · answer #5 · answered by steelerfan06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does she plan to get into the club? As her parent you have the say so and it seems to me you have already made up your mind. She does not belong in there. See if you can find her a good concert or tell her that she can enjoy her birthday at home with you and a good movie. You could be saving her from some serious trouble. Good luck.
2007-02-05 20:01:25 · answer #6 · answered by luvthbaby2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the parent. Tell her NO.
Possible Script:
"You know, I just don't think that's an appropriate venue for your party. I would consider an alternative, but definitely NOT at a place with drinking."
Parenting is not about making your child happy, it's about creating responsible, well adjusted adult members of society. If you can make them happy in the process, then great, but it is NOT your primary concern.
2007-02-05 19:51:59 · answer #7 · answered by Christal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id be surprised if a working mans club allowed this to be honest.if you're paying you have a right to expect to be there, after all its you who will have to pick up the pieces if things go wrong.let her have her party, dont negotiate, say im there or its not happening...threaten to put the money into a trust fund instead of giving her it up front!!she'll thank you in the long run, she can enjoy her party without worrying about things getting out of hand.good luck x
2007-02-09 17:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by kazzy3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is this even an issue? the club should not be allowing 16 yr olds to be having a party there. do they know she is only 18. she is 16. tell her if she wants you to pay for her party, than she will have to have it somewhere more appropriate, or she cant have a party at all.
2007-02-05 19:36:32 · answer #9 · answered by Minerva 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would let her have the party but warn her that trust is a very important part of being mature. lay down the rules and make it known that if she messes up that will be the last EVER party! and yes she will be picked up from school, town and just about anywhere she goes like the little kid she has shown herself to be!
I know she is but a child, but the kids of today are not like my day! They all think they are big men and women.
Show her you trust he and believe she is mature enough - you never know she might just surprise you!
2007-02-05 19:40:29 · answer #10 · answered by Chey 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋