My father passed away over 3 years ago. Since that time my brother has spoken to my mother only once. I left him a few voicemails and no response. It's one thing if he doesn't want to speak to me, but not speaking to my mother is a different story. I know for a fact that he speaks or at least spoke to one of my brothers in the passed 3 years on a regular basis. It has hurt my mother so much to the point that she doesn't even care anymore. The next time I see him I was thinking of beating him up. I really just want to hit him for my mother because I know she's tired of his crap. Is this a bad idea?
2007-02-05 11:21:10 · 16 answers · asked by steven h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Officially.... NO, you may not beat up your brother. You must talk out your feelings like adults, and come to an understanding.
However, if MY sibling did that.......... well, I'd give her about 2 minutes to make amends before I took her down. Your feelings are valid. It's just not a smart thing to do. Plus, he might be an even bigger PR**K than he sounds like, and have you arrested. And you know that would hurt Moms even more. Dig?
2007-02-05 12:32:26 · answer #1 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!!! It's never okay to beat up anybody! Violence is almost never the best answer to choose. (I only say "almost" because you should never say "never.") If it hurts your mother so much, get in touch with your brother so that you two are face to face (as in, if he lives close by, stop by his apartment) and see what the issue is. And don't say "You'd better shape up or I'm gonna hurt you!" Instead, try something that's more open to his perspective, like "Is anything going on with you and Mom? She's been telling me that you're really hurting her." If he doesn't open up, then try to get either your brother or mom a therapist or counselor, or ask one of the other brothers if they know why he's acting like the way he is. You can try to help the two of them, but you can't solve the issue. It's a family issue, yeah, but it's a family issue between your brother and mom. And if you see him and really want to punch him, under your breath say something like "wabi sabi," which is a Japanese proverb for something along the lines of "nobody's perfect." After all, your brother has to have a reason for his actions; he doesn't sound like someone who's being mean only to hurt your mom. He's probably hurting too.
2007-02-05 11:41:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lalalie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it would be better if you find out what's going on with him first, there has to be a reason, maybe he is blaming your Mom for something, maybe he doesnt want to call because its painful, by beat him up, you wont solve anything.Try to talk, I know guys dont talk often about feelings but, maybe this is a good chance to know each other better.
My husban's brother passed away and my husband hates talking about itl! its way to painful for him and its been almost 2 years! so, maybe should find out what's going on in yours brothers heart instead of beating him up.
Also, tell him how you feel and how your Mom feels, your Mom should get involved too. Its hard and not everybody reacts the same way.
Sorry for your Father.
2007-02-05 11:35:17 · answer #3 · answered by lisirm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother has emotional problems due to your fathers passing, he is in no condition to get punched, that's only kicking him while hes down, talk to him face to face, and see what the problem is, and how to fix it. obviously your whole family is torn apart through all this, so you mother is going to get sad and angry and all kinds of stuff in that category. it's a hard thing to go through, and i halfway know how you feel, my dad almost left us. and pretty much the same thing happened to us, give it time... allot of time, and see how it gets. but if your brother starts pulling crap like stealing or going goth or something like that. you need to go to someone you can trust to give you advice. just try to help, don't hurt your brother, it's not his fault, your dad passed, that's the only reason for any of it.
2007-02-05 11:35:01 · answer #4 · answered by Matt B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course not. I suggest sitting with him and asking him why he is behaving the way he is. I'm sorry about your father, and I've felt the same emotions when my brother would disrespect my mother, I've thrown stuff at him, hit him, and all that. I suggest that even though you are mad at him, don't fight... just talk it out. Maybe all he needs is a brother ;)
me hopes me helped
2007-02-05 11:28:05 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Cute T ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think beating him up will get him to call your mom? I wouldn't think so. Why not just try talking to him the next time you see him and tell him how much he's hurting your mom. Besides, you could get thrown in jail for assault if he decided to press charges.
2007-02-05 11:26:27 · answer #6 · answered by patchouligirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, it is a bad idea. it is not ok to hit your brother or anyone else for that matter. i know at one point or another we all feel like doing it but doing it and just feeling like it is two different things. this is your mom's problem. it will be easier on her if you just let her deal with this herself.
2007-02-05 12:03:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not ok to beat up your brother or anyone else for that matter. This is your mother's son and her problem. Not yours. Leave it alone.
2007-02-05 11:24:47 · answer #8 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT okay to beat up anyone.
Your brother's thinking may not be like yours in regards to family. He's entitled to his own perspective.
Good Luck - but no hitting.
2007-02-05 12:10:55 · answer #9 · answered by LindaLou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need violence, you may yell at him for acting like that but i wouldn't resort to violence. Because violence can get out of hand, what you were planning as a punch to get him back in reality can turn into a real serious fight.
2007-02-05 12:53:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋