My bf and I got in an argument yesterday over a stupid decision, where to put our dog run. I like to plan things out so there's no wasting money. He just wants to put it in and it doesn't matter where. The argument escalated and was interrupted by my son needing my help. Son was inside the house so he didn't hear us arguing, thank goodness. But while I was helping my son, I heard what sounded like a crash. I ran upstairs to find out what was happening. He met me at the door of the bathroom, and when confronted with the question as to what that sound was, he said it was nothing. At the time I couldn't delve into it because I needed to help my son again. The next day I saw a hole in the bathroom wall. We've been together for four years, and he's done something destructive like this, after an argument, maybe two times before. What I am scared of, is this really a precursor to hitting me or my son, or is this just blowing off steam? Does he need help or is it too late?
2007-02-05 11:15:18 · 16 answers · asked by areena 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not necessarily a precurssur for him hitting you or your son. It does however raise a red flag. Has you partner ever sought anger management counciling? Does he have abuse in his past (was he abused?)? My BF used to get angry like that, then he went to counciling, and now when we fight, we try to give eachother 5 minutes time out. this gives us time to reflect on what we are really angry about vs. what we are really fighting wabout. sometimes when people are angry they go off on tangents, and totally loose sight of the initail point. try talking to him about implementing a TO rule, espcially if you have children around. it will also present to them how mature adults handle issues, instade of teaching them that adults too have temer tantrums. good luck, and keep me posted.
2007-02-05 11:22:37 · answer #1 · answered by shahlagoddess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I broke a chair once when I learned that my friend was missing and possibly dead. (He turned out to be fine.) I was just really upset. I have never hit a person in my entire adult life, and am certain I never would.
However, this does seem like a small thing for your boyfriend to be upset about. I am not immediately concerned about his potential for violence (which seems small), but I personally don't care for the attitude that money doesn't matter and everything should be done the easy (lazy) way. I also don't understand why he would get so terribly upset just because you wanted to discuss this moderately important issue. If you are happy with him and he has good points that outweigh his flaws, I don't have a problem with your staying together, but the fact that you have known him for four years and are here asking if he might be violent tells me that the relationship is not as strong as it should be.
2007-02-05 12:00:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are that he hit the wall to keep from hurting you. I have done the same thing. I tend to destroy my own property rather than hurt others or destroy their property. It's a way to vent anger. I've only slapped a girlfriend one time and that was because she slapped me first but I have wrecked a lot of my possessions.
2007-02-05 12:13:36 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may just be blowing off steam, but the odds are some day he will hit either you or your son. He needs anger management counseling. If he refuses, leave him.
Sorry to tell you that...
2007-02-05 11:19:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No honey, it is really no longer. that is verbal abuse, it is no longer ok! it is no longer accepted. I actually have also been in an rather similar difficulty, been with an indignant guy, perchance from smoking pot. you do not deserve that in any respect. companions are meant to inspire you no longer positioned you down, yell at you etc. you want to kick him to the reduce, hit upon a guy who respects you, & would not even imagine of treating you that way. in case you stay, it will merely worsen because he will imagine it is okay to objective this stuff. Please be authentic to your self, do not positioned your self by that, that is no longer how love is meant to be. in case you want to deliver me an e-mail you could if that ought to help. good success.
2016-11-02 10:24:57 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he hit something over that argument? what a big baby, yes he will probably get violent with you or your son. And your son is currently learning that when he grows up and gets mad, that he should hit something too.
2007-02-05 11:20:26 · answer #6 · answered by monica your new bff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a good sign at all .. consider yourself lucky that the walls have been the focus of his destruction so far.. any kind of act of violence like that is a sign that at any time they could lose it and you or your son may unintentionaly in the line of fire.. why take that chance any longer??
2007-02-05 11:21:08 · answer #7 · answered by Mouseling 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well... I've broken a door once.
I wasn't fully awake. but I'd never strike anybody, except in defense. hmm... well... I'd say you ought to either get him a punching bag or a pillow... and yes. it's a better outlet than many things-- or holding it in. so yes. it happens a lot.
2007-02-05 11:19:55 · answer #8 · answered by The greatest and the best. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id be carefull if it gets worse id suggest anger management classes.
2007-02-05 11:20:08 · answer #9 · answered by Krayden 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's violent. It's only a matter of time. Get away from him.
2007-02-05 11:19:46 · answer #10 · answered by skidrowdan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋