My sister in law wants my step son to stay in school until he earns his high school diploma. My step son is so behind in his studies, thats he will not graduate. I want him to get a part time job, since he doesn't want to study. My sister in law knows he won't study, but is against my wanting him to get a job. My husband (his father) won't be strict with him about his studies. My step son is 17 yrs old who spends hours on the computer and has no job. Help!
2007-02-05 11:08:59 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Have him get his GED AND a job
2007-02-05 11:12:37 · answer #1 · answered by kherome 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not enough information to give you good advice. Like you missed telling us how long you have been raising your step son and if there are other children involved. For one thing, I don't understand what the "hell" your husband's sister has to do with this anyway. Is she paying the bills in your house, does she feed and cloth this boy? Then tell her to "step out" and if that doesn't work, get your "spineless husband" to do it. And if that still doesn't work, speak to your mother-in-law, or your sister-in-law's husband. Remind her, that "people should sweep off their own door steps first, before coming to yours"! Take that computer away from him, or limit his time on it. If his school work is so far behind, throw him out he door, and make him get an after-school job. No excuses. No pocket money. No friends over. If you don't straighten out this boy NOW, you will be supporting him for the rest of your lives. I know, I have seen this happen and I am old enough to tell you that "tough love" works. Give your sister-in-law the boot, and tell her that if this is what she wants, she can also have your step-son, with your blessings! Stick to your guns girlfriend, don't loose this battle or the whole mountain may come down on you. Good Luck.
2007-02-05 19:26:12 · answer #2 · answered by peaches 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, what Husband, you, sister-in-law think or debate is not what matters here. What matters is what is best for stepson. And that is........
He NEEDS to graduate. Period. End of discussion. What he will or won't do up to now or wants or doesn't want to do is irrelevant. He will study, and he will graduate (even if it is a year or 2 late). Period. No Job. School has priority. If this does NOT happen, do NOTHING for him (and throw him out when he turns 18). If your husband does not support you in this that for me would be reason to leave the husband.
NOTHING in this world is more important than an education.
2007-02-05 19:20:23 · answer #3 · answered by clueless_nerd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going to assume you bought this subject up with sister-in-law. i would hate to think she has any say in the real running of your household.
The one thing in favour of him staying at school is he won't be lounging around the house - unemployed, which is going to drive you more crazy. I would ask him what he really intends to do. If he is not academic or abhors school you might suggest he starts looking into traineeships or apprenticeships - he should not leave school till he has got the job. If he wants to stay at school he will have to forego the computer and knuckle down a bit. After all his father and you are not there to support his slackness. Explain to him that he is getting older and needs to consider what input he is going to contribute to the family unit (a sign of adulthood).
2007-02-06 23:09:11 · answer #4 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to shut down his computer and pack it up in the attack. When he gets home from school lay down the rules. He needs to get started on his studies and he will not get his computer back until his grades show he is worthy of it. Tell him that if he doesnt graduate he will be in trouble because you are throwing him out of the house when he turns 18. And tell him he will have a job at mcdonanalds flipping burgers for the rest of his life living in a tiny apartment all his life with nothing to do if doesnt graduate and get a decent education.
Basically you need to whip him into shape. Take away all of his gaming systems, cellphones, computer, tv, ect. until he brings his grades up. Or make him go to summer school to get him to catch up or both. Sounds like he is lacking in discipline and it needs to start now. You dont want him to start doing drugs and getting in trouble because when he gets older he could get thrown in jail. Please discipline him and make him work on his studies. Your husband doesnt have to be the only discipline parent all though he would be a good help if he worked with you so your son will HAVE to work on his studies.
Bottom Line: YOUR SON NEEDS A LARGE WAKE UP CALL INTO REALITY AND TELL HIM THE CONSEQUENCES AND THAT YOU WILL NOT TAKE CARE OF HIM ALL HIS LIFE.
Good luck and I hope you do the right thing with your son.
2007-02-05 19:34:16 · answer #5 · answered by Jenny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's 17 he should stay in school and either do summer school or get a job after June.
2007-02-05 19:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the SIL to stay out of it, she's not the one raising this boy. Unless she wants to take him in and support him, then she can have a say so about it.
2007-02-05 19:27:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take away his computer until you start seeing some progress in school.
2007-02-05 19:18:42 · answer #8 · answered by Bridgette B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋