My (Christian) Mom Doesn't want me to Make Friends with an "Ungodly" Person?

Question

She's Asian, and like lots of Asians she is atheist.

She's one of the smartest kids in my class, and I seriously need help from her all the time. Apart from being intelligent, she is the nicest girl I have ever met. I love her dearly.


However *dun dun dun*, my mum won't let me go to her house because she thinks she's "ungodly," meaning that she doesn't believe in god, Jesus Christ, and all that other "godly" crap.

What to do?????

Dante: **** you. I don't see how making me fail Biology class is "saving me."

Answer 1

Atheism and Intelligence usually go hand-in-hand. Anyways, think about if 'God' would want you to exclude someone based on their beliefs or act in kindness and accept them for who they are. I sure as hell wouldn't want to worship a 'god' that encourages 'his' followers to reject and ignore people who are different. Religious beliefs are usually inherited to, so think about why God would have people born into a belief that will lead to eternal damnation. Seems a little cruel to me. Tell your mom she's a bigot and try to spend as little time with her as you can so you don't grow up to be like her.

Answer 2

That's a tough question. Your use of the term "mum" would imply you're in the U.K. and I'm not sure about the climate there (I'm in the U.S.). I can see two tacks you could take, both of them devious.

First, you could point out that your friend is ungodly but say that she's asked you questions about Jesus and you think that it might help her if she learned more. You can be the missionary to the heathens. If you can convince your friend to go to church with you once, that would be good.

Second, you could play on your mum's prejudice (if they are the same there as here) that Asians are just naturally gifted in math and science. She's willing to help you and if you are going to compete for grades with these Asians, you need to better understand how they work through problems.

The first one is probably easier to play and you can use the second as a fallback.

Still, this is one of the reasons I'm an atheist.

Answer 3

I'm not an atheist at all. I'm a Christian, but as much as I believe in what I do, some other people don't. If you really want to become her friend, you can tell your mother you want to help your friend. Who knows? Maybe within time she will little by little start believing through your testimony or your daily behavior.
Now, if you are not much of a Christian (which you don't seem to be) then SHE might be the one converting you and influencing you into something you're not.

Answer 4

1. Jesus didn't have any Christians to make friends with, and he made a lot of friends.

2. It's your duty to your Lord Jesus to associate with non-Christians - that's the mission he gave to the Apostles and to you.

3. When at the Last Supper he gave the new commandment, "that ye love one another," he was talking about everybody. There is no Church authority anywhere who will say otherwise. So, if Mom doesn't love this girl, she's committing a sin.

Answer 5

Does your friend talk about her atheism all the time, or, was it just an answer to "so, where do you go to church" question? (I ask because I doubt atheism is the number 1 subject in most of Atheists minds unless we are on boards like this or someone brings religion/spirituality up.)

Why not invite her to your house to help you study some time after school. Maybe your mom will figure out that this girl really is nice and wants to be your friend and help you with school.

Answer 6

OH MY GOD! isn't Christianity supposed to teach ultimate tolerance????? just becasue your friend doesn't believe in god...doesn't mean she won't respect you or your mothers beliefs. she might actually know more about Christianity than your own mother.

you should ask your mother if she will be proud of you for getting scholarships, awards, and top scores. if she says yes...then tell her that her refusal to let you study with this girl is preventing such occurances. Ask her if Jesus would refuse to cure a blind person if they were kind and loving....yet didn't have the same ideas as him or his followers. if her Jesus loves EVERYONE.....then he loves this friend of yours.

BUT............do not abandon your own beliefs because you want to be smart like this girl, or to spite your mother. do what you believe in, but be tolerant of others like a true Christian would.

*my sister is actually an atheist....yet everyone loves how she will give you the last penny in her pocket so you could get something to eat. in fact....she is going in debt because she has given so much to others and hasn't put her needs first.

Answer 7

Good for you for being more open-minded than your mother. Unfortunately, when you live in her house, it's her rules, so you have to pretty much do what she says. But you can still talk to this girl at school, right? Text and e-mail her? I don't think you have to cut off all contact, especially if you're getting help from her.

Other than that, the only thing to do is wait until you're 18 and can legally make your own decisions. Good luck, and I hope you stay open and tolerant.

Answer 8

well not to preach to you but god loves all people asian white black etc... just because she's atheist does not mean you shouldn't go to her house... your mom just doesnt want your mind to get mixed up with what you've been taught and thats understandable... but if you plan to have a freindship with her never forget where you came from... get to know what you've been taught for yourself....and if you feel she is a problem as being your friend then you make that decision. parents will always be over protective especially if they are religious... so be wise...maybe your friend can learn something from you.

Answer 9

I am going to tell you to respect your mother, but that doesn't mean you should give up. Maybe you can invite your friend over and let your mother get to know her. Mention to your mother that Jesus spent His time with the sinners and unbelievers because they were the ones that needed Him the most. Maybe your friend can learn something along with you.

May God Bless you.

Answer 10

Wow, that's a tough one. On one hand, you don't want to go against your mom's wishes, but at the same time you don't want to lose a friend. I think should continue to hang out at school with her. Or maybe you could all get together at a mutual friend's house?