I love this guy and he doesn't want me to love him bc he thinks he'll die... what do i do??

Question

I come from a military background. I am used to figures of my family being overseas and elsewhere. I love families that are apart and still have the desire to want to be together. Military life can be very rewarding. Jim is going to be a Navy Seal. He tells me that he thinks that I deserve a man that is going to be around for things. BUT, the way I see it is this... I love him, and I want to do this, no matter what the circumstance. I am one of those women that can handle this kind of pressure and it excites me. I am very proud of him and want him to succeed. But, I also need to know what I need to do to assure him down the road that I will not cheat and that I will forever be supportive of his decisions? Do I insist? Do I lay off for a while and keep in touch and then gradually show MORE interest. He already knows how I feel and he said that he's willing to go against the odds for me... but he thinks that I will not like it. What do I do? I am going to do this, how do i?

We aren't together. We're both single. He doesn't want to hurt me bc he thinks he will die or he thinks that I deserve someone that will be around. BUT I want to be that girl. He pays attention to me more than others. I know he cares deeply. He looked dreadfully sad when we woke up the last day I saw him. It hasn't been long enough to pass the I Love You's yet. But, it something that I know I will eventually want to do. I've learned that true love comes with time. I just know that he's the one too.

I told him that I would rather risk my heart for him than sit back and watch him do this alone. He needs the love and support of a woman - his mother is not happy with him - his friends don't realize the severity of this training and gruelsome process... I come from the military life - I know this is difficult. I know if I send him letters everyday and show him I care he will come around... any other comments?

I asked him and this was not bc he didn't want to be with me. I heard him complain once about women who cheat on their military men and I think that he thinks I would or something of that nature.

Answer 1

I think that you should tell him again how committed you are to him, then ease up on the pressure.

Keep in contact with him through letters, email, phone calls. Stay at the forefront of his attention. It is up to him whether or not he gets over his (very reasonable) concern. If he does, you'll want to be there for him.

It is also possible he has another reason for avoiding that sort of commitment, something he is not telling you. Either way, he apparently cares about you deeply enough to try to avoid doing you harm.

Answer 2

Copy and paste everything you wrote on here to us and send it to him in an email. It will reassure him that you are sincere. Give him time also. It might take a while before he realizes how sincere you really are. Many women make this promise to their military men and then the second they are gone they find someone else. Don't ease up that will only make his suspicions worse. You definitely sound like you know what you are getting into. Make sure he knows you have experience with the military lifestyle (keep telling him) and don't give up on him if you really want this. Giving up will only prove in his mind that he was right and that is definitely one thing you don't want if you want to ever have a relationship with him. Good Luck. I hope things work out for you.

Answer 3

i be attentive to precisely what you're saying......I even have additionally been in the protection rigidity life for many of my life. i think of which you may definetly decide for it! regularly it seems for the superb. He desires your help, he in basic terms would not be attentive to it. a lot of cases protection rigidity different halves cheat whilst their husbands are away and that's an apprehension for all protection rigidity workers. What you may desire to do is teach to him which you're no longer that way and all you prefer to do is love and help him. it relatively is hard to try this, yet my suggestion is to lower back off in basic terms slightly of the superb option now and enable each little thing relatively soak in with him. no longer too long nonetheless on account which you do no longer desire him to think of you do no longer care. Oooooo....stable concept, arise with something relatively specific to enable him be attentive to which you will continually be right here for him for Valentines Day. Make your very own card or make him dinner and get him a undeniable present that he would be waiting to take with him anyplace the protection rigidity might desire to take him. make specific it relatively is compact and elementary to hold around nonetheless. perchance a bracelet out of cord (so it won't destroy and say it relatively is how sturdy your love is for him). in any case, you get the factor. do this and reassure him how a lot you like him. I promise he will come around! stable success!

Answer 4

If you know military,then you know he can cheat as well. Only time will tell what life will bring,If I were in your shoes I guess I would write often and support him, True love is standing by someone no matter what choices they make and even if it doesent turn into romance at least keep honest with each other,the greatest gift in life is real friendship. And that my dear,usually turns to love and respect.

Answer 5

Keep in touch as much as possible! He had so much on his mind before he left, that a girl was probably the last thing on his mind!!
Once he can relax a bit, he'll get lonely and be be happy that your waiting!
Some guys break up with girls before going away, so they don't have hear later that she treated on him!

You sound so sincere, don't give up!

Answer 6

Tell him that you cant live without him and that you love him and that you want to be with him even if he is away all the time.

Answer 7

Just keep working on him and try to get him thinking positive.