Why is it if i want to do somthing with them they say no i'm busy. but if they want to do somthing.(no matter what i'm doing) i have to go. They expect me to do somthing for them but yet they do nothing for me. what should i do so they will do somthing that i want to instead of wat they want to all the time.
2007-02-05 10:32:16 · 10 answers · asked by dc_snow_rules 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I totally know what you're talking about! However, think from your parents' eyes. They probably think like this: They pay for you to eat. They give you a house. They send you off to school each day, and worry about you when they don't know what you're doing. Heck, they are why you're alive! To them, they work all day for a nice house and so you have nice clothes and can have birthday parties and waste their money on video games and the mall. So when you want to do something that takes up their time that they don't want to really do in the first place, they have better things to do! Like go to work, or have their own fun time, or pay the bills, or get groceries. But because your parents are the main providers for the family, if would be a little gratification if when they wanted to do something that everyone else just went along and pretended that they liked it too.
Here's how to solve it: sit down with your parents WITHOUT any distractions (open books, cell phones, other siblings) and ask for a bit of family time that's scheduled into everyone's lives. For example, every month go on a camping trip, or even just see a movie together, or whatever you want to do. You could even have a rotation cycle for who gets to pick what to do. This way, your parents and you get to each choose how to spend time together, and no one is allowed to complain, because that's against the whole point.
If the issue is something "Mom, I'm meeting a few friends at the mall. Can you drive me?" then you could also talk to your parents about that. They're probably going to say something like "We're not designed to drive you around or do whatever you want! sometiems parents like to do what they want!" That's okay, so don't get angry. Instead, point out that to you it appears that any family activity done is something that your parents want to do, and almost never what you want to do. Make sure to point out that you don't want to argue, but to figure out a solution. That's the mature thing that will definitely earn your brownie points. Talk about a way to figure out something like "Well, if I open up to your ideas of family fun, would you mind driving me to more places so I can hang out with my friends?"
I hope that this helps!
2007-02-05 12:15:49 · answer #1 · answered by Lalalie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several issues going on within your question. First, you can't honestly think your parents "do nothing for you". You obviously have a computer and access to the net, which means you have a place to live, with a roof over your head, with electricity, water, & i'll bet you've got cable, phone & food too. Those things are being provided by your parents - they aren't exciting things, but they are necessary. What kinds of things are you asking to do with your parents.? Do you try to pick times when they aren't busy to ask to do these things.? (that would be a good idea) also, you can try to talk with your parents, & explain to them that you are kinda feeling left out at times, & that they aren't participating in the things you want to do that it hurts your feelings. Then tell them that often when they are ready to do something you are in teh middle of something also, but you have to leave it immediately .....and ask if there's a way that you guys can work out a plan so that you are told in advance so that you can plan your personal activities around the things you'll be doing with the family. Understanding there'll always be things come up that aren't going to allow them to give you advance warning, ..Just show your parents respect & talk with them, not at them. Communication is the key.. I feel sure that your parents love you very much & would never intentionally make you feel bad or left out or unimportant. and they will likely feel terrible that you have had such feelings & thoughts.
2007-02-05 18:43:08 · answer #2 · answered by rjsluvbug 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell mom or dad you have something personal (that'll get some serious attention) to share, and you want to sit down with them when they both, together, have time to be good listeners for you.
They'll be relieved to hear you when you say something like, "now that I'm older, I need you to show your respect for me by letting me finish something I'm doing instead of pulling me away from it when you want the three of us to go out. Also, I'd like to talk about my having a choice once in a while about where we all go together, so I can see that you care what I want to do, too."
Parents won't tolerate much pushing, but with a little tenderness, kindness, we follow pretty well. Good luck, buddy.
2007-02-05 18:42:10 · answer #3 · answered by Zeera 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im a Parent. A single mom. If your folks seem to be too busy when you need them it may be true. you cannot imagine the million thoughts per second parents have in mind. Take it easy. Offer to help whenever you can. Participate in any way you can to be a 'helping hand'. Im sure they will appreciate. And remember to talk with them. Dialog. Be positive, smile and patient. I know, I know. Seems too much. OK. Do your best, Im sure they will respond to your request well.
2007-02-05 18:46:44 · answer #4 · answered by beebee 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you tried explaining? Try next time when when you want to do something tell them you would really appreciate their participation.. If that doesn't work say "hey, could I have some attention? or How can I get you to do things I like to do as well? or I would like to spend some time with you can we do/go ___."
It worked for me when my kids did this!
I hope it works out for you.
2007-02-05 18:40:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes parents get causht up with what they r doing and dont relize that the children might be doing something as well. the parents should be more aware of the kids and let them voice there own opinion on things.
2007-02-05 18:36:12 · answer #6 · answered by bubba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plan ahead go to your parents and ask them ahead of time, tell them that there is something you'd like to do as a family, don't demand anything of them, just tell them it would mean a lot if you were able to plan something for all of you to do together .
2007-02-05 18:38:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why don't you call a family pow wow, explaining calmly exactly what you say here. ask them to give their ideas on what might be fun for all of you. give your ideas. tell them that it's always better to work together as a happy family, sometimes compromising. ensure that they realize how much you love them, else, you wouldn't want to do anything at all with them, would you?
2007-02-05 18:38:02 · answer #8 · answered by Louiegirl_Chicago 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them about it
2007-02-05 18:38:02 · answer #9 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no kidding, this is crap. all one sided
2007-02-05 19:06:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋