Did spirituality save you from loneliness within your marriage or just in general?

Question

I was wondering if you had spent several yrs./over a decade within a marriage and the only time you socialized was during holidays w/family members, hardly ever spent time w/one another (even tho you'd requested it a bunch, but just "okay'd"--nothin happened productively..ect)
SO---------did you decide to start joining a church for spiritual development, socializing more and it helped you w/fulfillment and happiness??
My husband will not go to church w/me. he keeps saying he will, but doesn't for some reason I feel guilty for going w/my friend even tho it helps me and fulfills me. INstead he says "he says he's keeping an eye on me, because I'm pretty and will get attention from other men." I am so FED UP w/this guy I married

we don't spend hardly anytime together eevn tho i've requested it over and over again. I don't want my life to just pass me by anymore and be isolated allt he time.

Answer 1

I don't know about spirituality but church is a good place to meet other people and develop a social life.

I was very active in a church when I was single and slept with several of the women I met there so you husband has a basis for concern.

On the other hand, you seem to have no need to hang around him. Since you don't mention kid socialization stuff (PTA, soccer, etc.) I assume you don't have kids. If this is the case, I'd dump him while you're still "pretty and will get attention."

Mind you, this is the male atheist answer. The Christian answer may differ. Also note that for most mainstream churches, attendance does not require that you buy into all their beliefs. Be more selective about what you believe. Don't think you have to "love, honor, and obey" just because the bible says so.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Spirituality saved me from loneliness in relationships and in general. I am learning that to love as Christ loved, we must focus on how we relate to others (not what they do for us). This may or may not change the other person's behavior, but it is about learning to have a more Christlike love ourselves, not about eliciting love from someone else. This will help you feel less lonely because as you strive to put others first and to love them completely, without condition or regard for what they do to you, you will feel less dependent on that type of love and more dependent on Christ's love. Don't feel guilty about going to church. St. Seraphim of Sarov said "attend to your own salvation, and a thousand around you will be saved." Perhaps through your love and patience, your husband will begin to understand what God has done in your life. In the earliest Christian times, people were attracted to the church because of the love that Christians had for everyone.

Answer 3

Yes, I reached a point in my life/marriage where I had to start doing my own thing without planning him or around him in the future. I hope it will bring him around for you. Pray for him too, and the only way to change anyone is through planting seeds of love without expecting anything in return. [Only way a guy will respond, if no expectations.]

Answer 4

what u hav to do is sit him down and have a meaninfull talk if u want to save this marriage. tell him ur sik of doing things without him and this is something u can do together which requries very little from him

Answer 5

I suggest you get counselling from a mature Christian woman.. The likelihood of your finding help in this venue is minimal.

Answer 6

Loss of belief in God has been one of the best things that has happened in my marriage...16 years and counting...

Answer 7

Both. I love to have a close relationship with my Lord. It helps me with all kind of other relationships.