Should I stop acting like it's casual and dump him?

Question

So I've been hanging out with this guy for more than 3 months now. When we first started dating, we had both ended really long relationships (10+ years) with our ex's. So we were both very clear with each other about not wanting to get serious. Well last night while I was sleeping, I overheard him with what sounded like his ex via phone. I learned that they communicate almost daily and he told her to stop texting him and sending him negative messages. He sounded irritated but nevertheless I feel that he's still somewhat attached (by the way, she lives on a different coast), at least emotionally. So to my point, should I let this guy go? It was never serious but I'm not sure that I want to hang out and sleep with a guy who is still caught up on his ex. Thoughts...especially from the guys?

Answer 1

I'm not sure you should consider dumping him over that. You both had long relationships with your ex's, and with break ups, no two are ever alike. Where you may have made a clean break and are perfectly secure in the idea that you will never speak to your ex again, HE may have a different scenario. For him...he sounds like he DOES want her to get a life of her own and leave his...BUT...he doesn't want to be too harsh about it, and hurt her any more than perhaps, the break up did. Maybe their break up was just due to two people who drifted apart. If their break up wasn't an angry one...then maybe he's just being a big hearted guy and showing her some consideration. This does NOT mean he's still attached. All it means is that he knows how to treat people with consideration. If you aren't planning to get too serious with him anyway...I wouldn't let this bother you. He's not cheating with her, and he is telling her to move on. If it were me, I would let him handle that part of his life, his way. Given time, he will have it handled. Sounds to me like he's getting plenty of grief from her. Soon, he'll get sick of being the nice guy.

Answer 2

Sounds like you're starting to catch feelings for this guy. If you're not trying to get serious with this guy then what's the real problem? If your just ****** then there is no problem because you two have discussed what you wanted from each other. To be honest with you, if what I'm reading is true then you're dating exclusively whether you admit it or not. If you're just having sex then get yours, and let him work out his problems with his ex on his own. Remember pimps don't feel it's against the rules. While you're at it, find other men to go out on a date with, unless your confidence is shot at the moment, then take time out to get yourself together. There's an old saying; "Marry yourself and keep someone exciting on the side." In otherwords, have sex and keep it movin.

Answer 3

if its her texting/ and ringing and not him then its not totally his fault.
but saying that he knows its her so if he didnt want to talk to her he wouldnt answer the phone or reply to textes.
this is a hard one because ya dont want anything serious so some people could say why is this bothing you?
so you cant really exspect anything from him because if its not serious then its just company and sex
you could say to him that you dont like it when you 2 are together that he is talking or texting his ex.
but you need to ask your self if you do really want something serious with this guy or not.
also ask yourself if its something you can deal with if he talks to her when hes not with you.
as for the main question shall i stop acting like it casual that says your just pretending its casual but you really want something more.
at the end of the day if hes not what you want then dump him.
you've got alot of thinking to do

good luck x

Answer 4

I'm not sure. If he is texting/calling her, too ... then, yes, they haven't really moved on. But if she is the one doing all the texting, then it sounds like he wants her to get out of the picture. If I were him, I would simply get a different cell phone number. End of problem. If he is rreluctant to do that, that should raise a flag.

Answer 5

He sounds official. a lot of fellows attempt the informal and distant habitual. it regularly works. on your case it backfired and he extraordinarily much lost you. as quickly as he found out this he replaced his habit so he might desire to maintain you. And hasn't long gone lower back to his previous techniques. If he submit alongside with your revenge ingredient i might say he's a keeper and it's time to offer the guy a destroy. He screwed up, found out his mistake and adjusted. Time to bypass on mutually.

Answer 6

Well that depends, It sounds like he wants her to stop contacting him. If that is the case then you could see where it might go. But I really think you should talk to him about how you feel on the whole situation.

If he still wants to talk to her, then dump him. You deserve all of his attention.

Answer 7

From what you say, it sounds more like she could still be interested in him, if he is asking her to quit sending negative messages. I think you need to talk to him and make sure that he is still keeping contact with his ex and it's not just her trying to keep contact. Keep in mind it is possible for people to divorce and still be friends and keep in contact at such. I don't think it is worth dumping him over.

Answer 8

wow, if that was me i'd make sure that he's over his ex. You never know what he's thinking. guys keep there emotions and thoughts to themselves. I'd hate to hear that he's just using you! good luck though~

Answer 9

be honest on what you feel about what you feel or hear. if shes addicted to him or angry to her your boyfriend should avoid her since shes live far. theres a lot of ways to solve or do something if her really want to..
know your own feelings about him.

Answer 10

I think you already know the answer or you wouldn't have even come up with the question...