we have nothing in common?

Question

i have been with my fella 3 years now.

he is 3 years older than me thats never been an issue.

more and more tho i notice that we just dont do things together anymore.
we are in the same room but we do different things.
we dont like the same music, tv, or films.
when we go out we want to go to different places.

its really getting to me now.

we talk all the time but we dont excatley agree.
he says he wants to move in but then he doesnt.

he wants to send his kids (when he has them) to a religous school. i dont want religion forced on my kids.

he wants to move to canada. i dont mind moving aboard but canada doesnt interest me at all.

what should i do?
i think i might be falling out of love with him...

we dont argue at all.

Answer 1

I was married to someone that the situation was similar. You notice I said WAS ??? It won't work - you need to have common ground to stand on together as a couple. It would be better off in the long run if you ended it and both of you found someone that you had more in common with.

Answer 2

If you dont feel the same way anymore then maybe it is time to move on. Things should not be that way if neither of you have any interets together anymore. Atleast you are not married and you dont have any kids. That would make it a lot tougher. When you love someone you will still have those interests. Even after two people marry. Those are still going to be the same. I wish you a lot of luck but only you can find the inner meaning of what you want.

Answer 3

Hello,
You have to make some similarities with your feller, and re-read you own letter, some of your answers are already in that for you. Go to each others choices of entertainment venues on alternate weeks and find something you can both relate to.Try a whole week without TV or music in the house, read a funny book, with loads of jokes in it, and tell each other jokes from it, and laugh a lot. Our senses are our best features, and a sense of humour is vital in any relationship, take in turns cooking dinners and get the kids to comment on them, do silly meals, your stomachs will stand some silly dishes for a while, try asking the kids what they want for dinner and they can be as daft as they like, and when they tell you they want chicken nuggets with ice cream, serve it up in abundance, then next day it's your turn for a silly meal, serveup sausage and mashed potatoes on toasted bread, sprinkled with corn flakes or cheerios, go as mad as you like, but get some laughter back into that house, and don't forget orange juice poured from a wine bottle into wine glasses, put the plates onto comic books, and tell the kids the only way to the comic books is via an empty plate, if he wants to still go to Canada, have a holiday there and do some crazy things while you enjoy the trip, tell the kids they are going to a summer-camp near the North Pole. Then go up into some forest land and look for a non-existent camp, and tell the kids you are thinking of building one.
It is in the constitution of the USA that religion cannot be held or forced upon anyone, neither can you force them not to enjoy their faith. Please I hope you can work this all out, for you musn't break up just for not having anything in common, so come on invent things and ask the kids to help, they will "um and erm" for a while, but listen when they talk to you both, there must still be love in your home, love it while it's still there.......... Tony M

Answer 4

I think the love is leaving the relationship fast. If you all had something in common from the beginning, and now you seem not to....it's definitely time to reconsider how you feel about each other. Discussing it is the first option. Trying to work on doing things together should be the second. And if that doesn't work...then separation is imminent. It's sad, but this sort of thing happens alot. The type of work I do includes relationship counseling and it seems like all you two need to do is to communicate. That is a start and it could help.

Answer 5

People say opposits attract! But in your case it just seems like things are slowing down. And sooner or later they're going to come to a stop. You say you don't argue, but maybe you need to. If you disagree on all these things but never argue it means your not talking about it. I advise to TALK to him! And if you still are the same afterwards I'm afraid to say you relationship is coming to a slow end. It's up to you how this will end! Will you try? or give up?

Answer 6

Well, you can both agree to try to sit down together and work your major problems out... it's a good idea to argue every now and then to strengthen your r-ship. But if you guys can't start to agree on some things and find some middle ground, you might not have enough in common to take it any further.

Answer 7

How would you feel at the thought of him with another girl. Have you really had enough are you in a rut. Do u tell him about the religious thing or just hold it in. 3 years in,the excitement', gone and its time to either except his bad points, (we all have them) or realise he's not the one. I give my fella a hard time for 8 years, we split after loads of misery. Neither of us wanted it deep down. I realised i loved him warts and all, it what makes him him. And he realised how lucky he actually was.lol!!

Answer 8

Sometimes opposites attract, but you do have to enjoy each others company. I think I'd say get out before anyone gets really hurt. Moving and having kids is not a good idea if you are not comfortable with him now.

Answer 9

Well, I hate to say this about any couple, but, really you guys don't see eye to eye at all on any subject do you.
I think your best bet would be to sit down and have a serious long heart to heart with each other and see if this is worth keeping.

Answer 10

This could be me asking this question. I am married and we don't have the same taste in anything. Difference is for a long before I met him, I was on my own. I think I stay with him cause I like to be one half of a couple.