Ok what is going on is my Fiance and I have not told anyone that we have been together for the last 9 months. We were previously together when I just got out of a bad marriage and my ex husband flipped out on him and me....resulting in our relationship taking a break. We have kept contact but it was a two year span that we didnt date. Now that we are back together we are so happy and my boys have not yet been introduced back into the relationship but I do know they will be happy since they were sad and upset at their dad that they wanted him (fiance) to stay. My big problem is we have decided that it is time to tell everyone since we are buying a house together. My ex husband is remarried but I know will cause a big stink about it and my parents never wanted me to be with him because he is from a different origin than I am. Everyone I know is going to cause a lot of problems. What is the best way I should go about it? I know what I want....
2007-02-05 09:48:42 · 4 answers · asked by Believe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They already have warned me not to ever be with him....will I lose my family and him again? I dont want that to happen. Anyone who has been in this situation or kind of like it. Any advice would be appreciated.
2007-02-05 09:50:06 · update #1
Ok I feel like I may be missing something here. But let me see if I have this straight, just x me off if I don't.
You are wanting to be with this guy, you have agreed to bye a house with who is of a different nationality than yourself. Your parents don't like him and you have not even introduced the kids back to him yet.
Well, no one can make your parents like him and if you want to marry him you are going to have friction there whether you want it or not. Your parents don't need to choose you you can marry and who you cannot marry. Marriying outside of your race is a tough issue, so be prepared to have a battle, you siad it yourself. You have literally been given a bad hand here, and there is not much you can do. You can marry him and have them turn on you, or you can leave and not have happiness. I personally think you want them to approve, but it sounds like you are never going to get that. It seems to me you know your options here, you just have to decide just how much you love him. How much does he love you? and can he handle the demand the family is going to give you?
Then there is the kids, be sure to give them that time of adjustment with him because no matter how well you prepare, one child is going to dislike the outcome more than the other.
It is not a matter of whether you are right or wrong, but it is more of what you are willing to put up with and how much can you take from your family who will undoughtfully will not like what is going on.
I guess that is all I have to say on the subject at this time.
2007-02-05 16:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by trhwsh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop letting your ex-husband run your life. He's a bully and has no rights over you anymore. But as a courtesy, call him and let him know that you're in a serious relationship and planning to buy a house. He doesn't need to know who with and you have nothing to explain. Talk to your kids immediately thereafter. Then do it. Stop worrying about what others think. Only pursue your own happiness and to make sure your children are safe and loved.
2007-02-05 17:57:46 · answer #2 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did they warn you not to be with him? That matters in the equation. Your family will probably feel betrayed if you've been lying to them about this guy for all these months. If your love life is going to cause a lot of problems, maybe you should take heed.
2007-02-05 17:54:14 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow your heart... if your family walks away, it will be their loss... in time they will see how happy you and your children are, hopefully they will come around. you should not let them hold you hostage because of their prejudice. Family should be supportive, not dictatorial.. Best of luck...
2007-02-05 18:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by lizardqueen49 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋