Do you guys think it's a good idea to get married to someone whose in jail?

Question

I've been with this guy for 7 almost 8 years and we want to get married but i'm not sure if it's a good idea He's only been in jail for about a year now but has to serve 6.

Answer 1

No I dont think that this is and good idea and i can tell you why....I have been with my boyfriend/babydaddy for about 5 years now and he went to jail last year for about 3 months...well we talked about marriage before he went in but he never asked me the question....Girl when he went in there he asked me the first week and wrote me all kind of letters telling me that he was going to start doing this and that when he got out but guess what it never happened. I am telling you from experience it is just jail talk...I am not saying break up with him are anything but you should wait until he gets out of jail to see if he will be the same person.

Answer 2

Ok I personally do not think it is a good idea but its like this... if you marry someone on the inside you are putting your life on hold waiting for them. Yes you can visit but it is not the same as having them there to hold, to talk to, to comfort you when you need it the most. Thats a pretty long sentence, I know a lot about the law and I dont know what he did to get in but whatever it was, once hes out how do you know it wont happen again? Then you would be alone once again and waiting. If it were me I would break free from the relationship and begin to move on...but in the end the decision is up to you. You deserve better though. Good luck.

Answer 3

The reason this decision is difficult is because you have been dating him for so long. If that weren't true, I would advise you to break it off. When people who are in relationships are separated from eachother for that long, whether by jobs or, in your case, by jail, it puts a huge strain on both individual's lives-- especially in so close a bond as marriage. Also, I would question you decision to spend you life with someone who has been convicted of criminal activity. Once he is out of jail, are you positive that you can support eachother?

However, the fact that you have been a couple for so long, as I said, makes this decision difficult. You have already invested so much of your lives in eachother that I can see why it would make sense to get married. But will you be able to visit him often? Call him? Does his facility (and security level) allow conjugal visits (physical intimacy is so very important in marriage)? Unless you know that being so connected to him while he is, for the majority of the time, kept from you, will not damage you emotionally, keep your relationship where it is for the time being.

Answer 4

Girl come on 5 more years its time to move on he may come home and be a totally different person and you will have wasted all that time waiting that is a good part of your life you know. My Brother went to jail for 2 years and was going out with my best friend she waited for him came to my house like everyday to prove she was not cheating anyway she had a paper marking down the days in till he got out. He got out three weeks later they broke up he couldn't get a job he had no real job skills you know. And they just had grown apart I mean all the letters and stuff seam so romantic but what else do they have to do you know get a man that is gonna be something that has a future maybe if he gets out and makes something of himself then you can see whats up just tell him that you just wanna be pen pals and see what happens I wouldn't marry him but that's me anyway think about it later

Answer 5

Honestly? If he's in jail, chances are that he's not that great of a guy to begin with. Whose to say that after the 6 yrs he won't end up back in there. Do you really want to live like that? But I do understand that you really really love this guy so if that is what you want to do go for it. I would wait until he gets out though so you can a real wedding.

Answer 6

If you have to ask this question, maybe it isn't such a good idea. You should KNOW if you want to marry someone. Even if they are in jail, you shouldn't have to question things. If you aren't 100% positive that you should do it, then it is more than likely a really bad idea. Y'all have been together for a long time before this. Maybe there's a reason you haven't married him yet. Maybe someone is trying to tell you something. BUT you gotta follow your heart though.

Answer 7

Why would you want to waste your life for the next 5 years waiting for him? That's exactly what you would be doing. In all probability, you'll end up divorced because you will have met someone. 5 years is a long time to be married to someone who's in jail. You never know what could happen in that 5 years. My advise.....don't do it. If you're still single when he gets out, and you still have feelings for him and he you, then you might be able to work it out. But until then....

Answer 8

I would just like to say, just because he is in prison does not mean you shouldn't marry him. The love of my life just got out of prison about 7 months ago after serving seven years. We have been together almost 3 years and its great. So I would say don't listen to what anyone else has to say, just listen to your heart. Remember it's your life not anyone elses. Good Luck and I wish you two the best.

Answer 9

Its a GREAT idea. Just think, he'll be locked up for maybe 3.5 yrs. and you'll be able to accept all those long distance phone calls- reverse charge of course. You'll be able to travel every week-end to visit him- oh, don't forget to bring that bag of quarters for the vending machine. You will receive wonderful homemade cards form him with roses and thorns confessing his undying love for you. Don't forget that monthly check to his books so he can have money for cigs and snacks- oh, not enough for the color TV? I'm really sorry--send more someone is putting the strong arm on me if I don't give up the money I'm going to get hurt. Yea, you really should marry this guy-- a marriage made in Heaven.

Answer 10

A HUGE RESOUNDING... NOOOOOO! Why would you want to start your relationship that way! If your relationship is still going strong at the end of the 6 years...then be together for I'd say another year, to make sure you are compatible again on the outside(he may change). Then...tie the knot... you will set yourself up for failure if married under these circumstances. It's not normal, not healthy.