same for every teenager??

Question

i just wana know (from teenagers and older people too)if when you were in your teens did you ever just feel like you didnt belong? i feel as though my parents dont understand me and i get so down living at home. i stayed on to do A-levels(for whatever reason i do not know)and ive been doing them for 5months and i've had enough, my plan is to get a job between now and september and enroll in the tec. but my parents want me to do what they want and i swear i've had enough of them. and problems with my gfriend do not help matters...

is this similar to any other people out there???

Answer 1

Bottom line is to be or get okay with being with you. To like your own company, in other words. Then people can come and go around you and you will still have you to enjoy. It took me forever to rather enjoy hanging out with myself, you know - to be in solo flight. High school here in the United States was a four-year horror show for this writer, but when I went to prep school for a year of post graduate work afterwards I got straight A's and had a great time all around. I also had wonderful teachers. I would have you consider one thing and one thing only through all of this so you get it sorted. That is who you are and then enjoy being him. Then if someone happens to like you and moves closer to you, you can enjoy that person's company, but if you decide it is not for you, you can step back, and that will mean you are just coming back to your center once again within yourself. If you do not take the time beforehand to establish being okay with hanging out with yourself, if someone happens to be giving you a hard time, when you have had enough of it, you have no center to return to, and that makes you feel disconnected and "out there." I hope this helps you realise that the guy who is important in all of this is you and that the guy who is in charge of what happens to you is you. I would continue to respect my parents. They have a take on things that perhaps you do not fully understand and if you can bring yourself to dialogue with either of them you can stand to learn quite a bit, especially if you can cultivate friendships with them. I hope this helps you make some greater sense of the confusion you seem to feel about things just now. Good luck to you. And best to you, always. From, Chris, in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. (I am 63 years old and I quit drinking twenty years ago. Drinking was my way of not liking to be around myself. When I quit, I had to go back to who I was when I began drinking and rebuild myself all over again. So here I am writing to you, feeling really okay with myself and fairly centered on a regular basis, so even at 63, I am still learning how to enjoy my own company. It is a life-long thing. There is no static answer, because you are evolving as a human being every minute. Take good care, now. - C!

Answer 2

I think it is - I remember having a lot of angst when I was a teenager. Trouble is you think you know it all, and when you're older you actually realise that you didn't know nearly enough!

Your parents only want to do what's best for you even if it seems they are always nagging - my parents wanted me to stay in school and go to Uni but I dropped out and got a job. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change anything about my life now as I have a good job but I wish I had studied Law like I was going to originally 'cos I know I could've been a success. I would also like my kids to go to Uni, 'cos I want them to have more success than I did, but there is a fine line between support and pressure.

I suggest you have a good sit down and a chat with your parents and explain to them your reasons for wanting to leave school - and maybe you can come up with a solution. Also talk your problems over with your girlfriend.

I'm sure everything will be okay, remember your parents love you.

Good Luck
xxxxxxxxxx

Answer 3

This is from what you would call 'an older person' Vivdly remember being a teenager and felt exactly like you. Refused to stay on at school and later felt resentful that my parents allowed me leave. When I told them this they answered there was no telling me I was so headstrong. You know they were dead right. If you are taking A levels you must be bright, I was the same and it is my biggest regret to this day I didn't finish my education and go to university. I married at 21 but between leaving school and then suppose it didn't bother me, out and about having a good time. It was when I realised any jobs I could get were 'dead end'. I am still happily married and family grown up. I did do quite a bit with my life, sit various exams etc and had a reasonably good job. However, believe me having to do any sort of studying with responsibility of a house, bringing up a family it is never the same as it is now under your parents roof, probably dinner on the table etc etc and even if you leave home for to perhaps go to university your parents will be doing the very best they can for you. I am in Scotland so things are slightly different. I absolutely admire anyone leaving school, going to Tech College and educating themselves probably to HNC, HND Level or degree but in your case you appear to have the ability to get on straight from school. Do you ever consider you could be depriving someone of a place at college who wasn't able to do A Levels? That is how it would work here in any case, although you possibly Know it's Highers we have.. Good luck but think about it. In later years still time to educate yourself but never like now!

Answer 4

only pretty much every other teenager ever!!! dont worry its part of being that age. your folks have been there too and they just want u to have a secure future - thats their job - be grateful (if you can - if you cant you sure will be when you're older - loads of kids have parents that just mistreat them.) try and stick with the a-levels - if u cant handle it, could it be the subjects - any chance of bowing out now and starting afresh in sept? that way u could try working for a while, get a dose of independence and have the option of returning if you want? also by then hopfully the g/f probs might be sorted.
but just know you're not alone - loads of pple are going thru' or have gone thru' exactly what you feel. and as for that sense of belonging...one day you'll find it, some of us never do, but u need to get a sense of who you are first before u can fit and belong. but be sure one place that there will always be room for you is in your parents hearts (wow how schmucky does that sound - sad but true!!)
good luck hun X

Answer 5

Hey I am 40 and I still don't feel like I belong! lol It is normal, try to talk to your parents and explain how you feel. Perhaps they are too controlling, we do not know enough to make a judgement on here. Whatever they do, your parents love you and whatever they are trying to do is because they think it is best for you and because they want you to be happy. Maybe they are going about it the wrong way so you may need to nudge them a little rather than running away.

Answer 6

We all go through that experience at some point... I am in the same boat as you college wise, and I went through a stage of wishing I had of just got a job. Then I did get a job - working 16 hours at weekends, plus a 35 hour college week... I was working 7 days a week and was dead on my feet. Now, I love the fact I finish college at 2.40 and can chill out (once my hwk is done of course)... You are probably best sticking it out for now, at college. After all, you might - probably will - come out with at least some extra qualifications, which will make finding a job that much easier... And, with regards your parents, they are probably as confused as you - they probably think they are trying to do their best for you... Try and be open with them, explain how you feel... And stay positive :P - - - even if the only way you can is to go out 5 nights a week on the lash with your mates, at our age having fun should still be a major priority! :P

Answer 7

Yeap, it's the same for everyone ! You'll be OK honest ! Parents are a pain when you're a teenager, but try and listen to them just a little bit, they only want what they think is best for you .
Those hormones have a lot to answer for, being a teenager is hard but you grow out of that, try being a woman who suffers from pmt ....lol !
You'll be fine mate, you're not alone, talk to them OK ?

Answer 8

i have the same problem with my dauther she 17 may you should contact her and move together.
i don't remember when i was a teenager be that unrespecfully as you guy are now you think that you deserve everything like clothes food everything but you don't have to give anything back like study to be a better person in the future i bet this is your mayor problem isn't it?
they usually don't want you to go out with those guy that can get you involved in problem like drug and all of those things.
you don't understand they try to protect you to get into the trash as most of your are right now how many of your friend got they girlfriend prenant because they father allow them to do whatever they want to ask them if they will preffer to have somebody like you father trying to avoid all of those thing that irresposably you want to do right now.you don't want to wait for the right time to do things.
here is a homework for you.
take a piace of paper and write those thing that your father is bother you asking to do then next to those write the reason why he is asking to do that if they are any that you can not think about the reason ask your father.
sacrify yourself for one week and do it and then you will notice that your live is less misarable if you go by the rule at home at the end is for yourself that they doing everything they do not going to recieve any benefit from your better future, time fly my friend you soon will be on your own.

Answer 9

Yes. I remember that feeling all too well. This is the time in your life to figure out what you want to do, but that doesn't mean you have to have all the answers now. Take some time to talk to your parents and explain that you value their input, realize they want what's best for you, but you have to find your own path. While you may think you don't want to talk to them, they actually need that from you, so try to make the effort. As for your girlfriend, try giving her a jolly rancher.

Answer 10

Yeh I feel like that right now! Ive just got to keep going, and hope it works out in time...in the end i spose parents just want the best for us even though it doesnt seem like that to us! try talking to them, telling them how you feel.

Email me if you wanna chat more! Sometimes just talking about it to someone who listens helps.

Good luck x