just self harmed cause i got so stressed out and depressed?

Question

i just got so depressed and also stressed out becouse my parents are having ago at me,i cant do maths and my bf getting stressed out at me and having ago at me cause i couldnt do the question so i just cut my arm.i dunno how to stop getting stressed out

Answer 1

Having problems doing maths and your partner aren't big problems but obviously they are big problems in your life at the moment and may be making you feel down about yourself. I don't think stress is the issue here, I think it is that you are feeling stupid or useless and don't know how to express that or how to make that feeling go away – that is a little harder to deal with than stress.

You are going to get stressed as long as you feel bad about yourself for not being able to do the maths, having problems with people in your life and your self-harm – let your friends and family know that you self-harm, make them research it if they need to in order to understand it is something you have to do and you need a professional to talk to. If you are scared about telling anyone about your self-harm or how you feel then just talk to your boyfriend, parents or best friend to let them know you are stressed and need their support to help keep you calm.

Basic ways of reducing stress are to avoid the stressful situations all together, take a step back, go for a walk or do something to cheer yourself up when you are feeling stressed or down. Get yourself some lavender essential oil to put in your room and sit listening to yourself breath. Tell your parents they are upsetting you and deal with it from there, tell your boyfriend that he is making you feel stressed or stupid or however else he is making you feel.

Honestly though hun the stress is not the problem, it is just the trigger that makes you feel bad and thus makes you feel the need to self-harm. The reason why you get stressed at these things is the problem, and the reason for your self-harm needs to be addressed – I am a self-harmer myself, I counselled self-harmers in college and ran a community for self-harmers, I know what it is like and to me it just sounds as though you are looking at the wrong things – stress rather than how you are really feeling.

Self-harm is something you need to do because it is the only way you know how to cope with negative emotions and negative things in your life like stress and anxiety. Without self-harming you could end up doing yourself more damage emotionally/psychologically by not having a way to express yourself, or worse you could end up letting everything build up and really hurting yourself as a result when you snap and self-harm again. Don't worry about having self-harmed, worry about why you need to self-harm and what is triggering these feelings.

It is best that you seek professional counselling to help teach you new ways of coping with stress, to find out why these things stress you out and find out why you feel this way – a maths problem is NOT something that should be making you feel depressed or needing to self-harm, think about it, there is something else going on here.


Edit: Please do not take in the answers of other people here who are suggesting you are attention seeking or that you are hurting people you love. You may be wanting attention, because you want someone to help you, you may be hurting people who know you but they would be more hurt if you just let things eat away inside of you, they need to help you.

Answer 2

I was never much good with Maths. I really don't know how to help for the best, there are many answers on here which give details for getting the right help you need. Don't get more stressed out for having just self-harmed, its been done and you can't change it, don't worry about it now! I heard once that a good way of dealing with the stress is to hold icecubes - it gives the release through pain (of the cold) but it wont do any damage. I hope that you feel better soon. Good luck.

Answer 3

I am a psychiatric nurse with a crisis team. You need to access support the most appropriate way of this will be through your GP. I am assuming by your age that you will be covered by CAMHS Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services. However i think that you would benefit more by accessing YPI Young Persons Counselling. It may be worth talking to a counsellor on Childline, i think the number is still 0800 1111.

This a maladaptive coping strategy to cope with stress that you will be able to find other more appropriate ways to cope with. Self Harm does not instantly mean that you are mad, I just means that your coping skills are not fully developed yet. I beleive that you will get through this but do please seek help. If you are not willing to talk to your parents then see your GP or another professional.

Answer 4

I am appauled at some of the answers here by the ignorant few. Shame on them. This is not the way to treat someone who is asking for help.

Self harm is distressing and gives temporary relief. I done it when i was younger because others were hurting me and it was my only release. I didnt set out to do it nor did i plan to do it but i do know i didnt want to hurt anyone else and as i was being hurt by others, what did it matter what i done to myself. My circumstances were different but self harm is self harm.

But it does matter what we do to ourselves.

Your b/f isnt being very understanding and maths is a big deal if you dont understand it. None of us are perfect and know how to answer things all the time. It is something you will learn and like everything it takes patience and care but its harder to learn something you dont understand when someone is there knocking you because all that does is make you feel worst. When you feel worst and feel like your not doing something right your less likely to want to try it again next time around and your less likely to go to them for support.

Your stress is how you feel about yourself and how you feel others see you but all that is important is you and how your feeling.

If you feel like self harming get a pen and paper out. Write down every feeling you feel at that moment in time. email it to me. It does help sharing those feelings without being judged.

Parents nag and parents grumble and im a parent and i moaned at my children. We dont do it because we dont care, we do it because we do care and sometimes we forget and parenting doesnt come with a book to guide us and we sometimes rely on our children to tell us what maybe going wrong.

Children teach us as much as we can teach them.

Your maths. There are many sites on the net that give free education advice.

I wish you well and maths will come to you. Im 39 and I still dont understand what a prime number is and I still dont know how to do maths my children can do like square roots. But ive achieved in other ways.

Dont self harm as it stays with you for years to come with the scars it leaves behind. Your worth much more. Talk to someone xxx

Answer 5

I've done that too when I was younger, but it never became a big deal because I realized how much that hurt people who cared about me. Try to take some out away from everyone for a bit, and concentrate on something else.

Answer 6

U stop that right now. I am 30 and no good at Maths but do not go that far. U mustn't worry about not knowing an answer but they should know better than to give you such a hard time about something potentially trivial but I bet you never forget the answer!! Just look after yourself.

Answer 7

You need to see a Dr to get help for you r depression, then you need to get help to learn coping methods.

Answer 8

I normally have a ciggy when i'm stressed, cutting isnt the answer..do u best and you will be happy knowing that you have done your very best :-D

Answer 9

Talk to your school counsellor

Answer 10

You think you've got problems? You just look at war-torn countries like Iraq and places in extreme poverty, for example Ghana and open your eyes to the real suffering in the world - life is too precious to spend your time cutting yourself because you can't do maths. If you are upset then I suggest you get a maths tutor and you dump your boyfriend - don't do silly, attention-seeking, dangerous antics like cutting yourself.