Is it right to spank your child?

Question

Is spanking your child a good way to discipline your child? Is there a so-called 'proper' way to do it? I was never spanked as a child but does it discipline the child properly? Just wondering, since although I do not have children yet, I know that I would like children one day.

Many people have been recommending using belts - isn't that illegal and dangerous for your children?!

Answer 1

I personally think spanking is a good way to discipline. Spanking would be when you swat your child with your hand on there butt to get there attention. I spank my daughter when I need to. And I was spanked growing up and I'm better for it. I only go it when I deserved it.

Answer 2

Using belts is not illegal, but going to far is abuse. I wouldn't recommend using belts for spanking, because you don't really know how hard your spanking. We use the pants down, over the lap method. Like the old days, it seems to work the best. These days people consider spanking to be anything from a swat or two on a covered bottom, to major beating leaving the child covered in black and blue marks. In my opinion the first is not good enough, and the second is abuse (which is also the opinion of the US). So if you decide to use spanking, I recommend the way we do them, and as a last resort only. Try the new age methods first, if they don't work, then use spanking. Spanking has been around for generations and works, but like anything, if you use it to much, it loses it's effectiveness.

Good Luck

Answer 3

I work in a school district that allows paddling for misbehavior (with parental consent of course). I wouldn't use a belt...that isn't a "proper" way to spank. I use a paddle, and it is quite effective. I have had to paddle about four students in my fifth grade class due to severe misbehavior. Needless to say, I haven't had to worry about their behavior since then. Word has it that I spank harder than the principal...LOL!

Seriously, though, when you are spanking a child, you must spank them on the bottom...there is a fine line between spanking and abusing your child, and you must make certain that you ask them if they understand why they are getting a spanking...do so in a gentle manner, not in a snive manner. I always ask my kids and students, "What can you choose to do next time?" Always make sure that you tell kids that they made the choice to misbehave, so they must accept responsbility for their actions.

Answer 4

I was more than spanked as a child and I have no regrets now. While children may even turn away from their parents for a time I think it is necessary for a certain way of growth. If you want to have any influence in your kids' life you will find a way to do what's right. I do know now why I was spanked as a child and I'm glad for what it has taught me. I think a lot of people who disagree with this do, because of people you spank their kids out of anger. If you never got burned, how would you trust someone's word that something is hot? If everyone trusted everyone else's word, then no one would argue. Children learn from the influence of their parents, whether you wish to accept this or not. It is true with animals, plants get their genes from their "parent" plants, that's why so many people who have divorced parents or abusive parents get divorced and become abusive. It doesn't always happen like that, but all you have to do is look at the world and you can see that bad traits are becoming more and more frequent and casual.

Answer 5

I have a 10 year old and 7 year old twins - they are 3 of the happiest, most content, respectful children you'd ever meet - and I spanked their butts! Dare to Discipline by James Dobson is an excellent book to read. I used a dowel rod and only spanked for rebellious behaviour - never out of anger or frustration, and never for childish behaviour.

Answer 6

I grew up being spanked as a child and feel I am a pretty well-rounded individual. I have a 2 1/2yr old daughter and my husband and I both will give her a swat if need be, but I think its all dependent upon the child. Our daughter doesn't respond as well to a spanking as she does to being put in time out. If we make her sit on a chair or on her bed for 2 mins you would think she was being beaten to death! I see no problem though with using YOUR HAND only to swat a little one's butt as need be. When they get a little older, you have to rethink though because it doesn't seem to have much effect.

Answer 7

First off, never ever use anything on a child is my opinion. I would never use anything other then my hand to spank a child. And when my children recieve a spanking, it is one swat on the bottom. Not the bare bottom either. Spanking, for me anyways, is a last resort, and usually for when they have done something i want to try to really enforce to them is WRONG. Like for example, one of sons whos is 2 1/2 years old ran out into the street one day. Thank god there was no traffic....but i spanked him one swat on the bottom. He has never attempted to try that again. I don't know for sure if it was because he got a spanking but he hasnt done it again. Usually i try NO, time outs, smack the childs hand if they reach to touch something breakable or hot....but usually NO or time outs work pretty well. I think there is a huge difference between spanking and beating a child. Striking a child over and over again....thats a little bit much.

Answer 8

I haven't had to spank my children in a long time but if they need it I certainly would. I use to pay attention to how I spanked my children. I would swat their bottoms 3 times and then stop. No more than that. I used to keep a ping pong paddle on top of the refrigerator but rarely ever had to use it. I would never use a belt as I look at that as beating. Good Luck.

Just remember when you do have children, everyone will try to tell you how to raise them. These are your children and only you and their father have a right to decide how they will be raised.

I had a women in Walmart look down her nose at me and tell me she could not believe I had just spanked my child.... at that point he deserved it 100 x's over actually. I stood tall and looked her in the eye and said to her.. "I cannot believe at your age you have yet to learn to mind your own business".... I think she thought I would feel guilty except I had done nothing wrong.

Answer 9

How about asking kids who are spanked what they think, such as the following:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/KidsSpankingPoll/surveys?id=2425559
There are a number of different theories about spanking. Which of the following do you believe are true? Please check all that you agree with.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/KidsSpankingPoll/surveys?id=2430618
How do you feel about being spanked? How do you feel about not being spanked?

According to these two (admittedly unscientific) polls which I created to ask some questions of my own, those who are spanked generally do not seem to be worse off for it and very much respect both the punishment as well as the disciplinarian.

Having said that, though, it should be clear that spanking can not be expected to work all of the time, or even for all children to the same degree. Some children will respond better to it than others, and some may not respond well to it at all. Do your research and make your own conclusions, but my research tells me that spanking, unlike how some people would like you to believe, is not inherently wrong or bad for the spanked child, but like anything else, it certainly can be if taken to an extreme.

As for the "proper" way to do it, there seem to be mixed answers to that. Many seem to believe that a spanking is ineffective if it is given on anything other than a bare bottom and given in any other method than over-the-knee, but there is some disagreement with this too. You'll have to find out what works best for you and your child when/if you have one. In any event, I do not reccommend you use spanking as your sole method of punishment. After all, the goal in raising children is to eventually get them to respect everybody, not fear everybody. One can, as I said above, take spankings way too far, so as a parent, you must use a good deal of restraint when/if you choose to spank your kids when/if you choose to have any.

Answer 10

I always said I would never spank my children but then my oldest son turned 3. I believe the first time I spanked him was when we were in a parking lot, he let go of my hand and tried to run. I spanked him. I would rather have a child with hurt feelings from a spanking then one who got run over by a car!

Answer 11

Yes!
I took an old belt cut it 18 inches long and it was called "THE BELT" I used it on their bottoms only and never more than 5 swats max. It was a psychological tool as well. I made them go and get "THE BELT" they would cry all the way there and all the way back.
IMPORTANT!!!! This isn't to be used to hurt them or harm them in any way. Each swat was firm and some may have sting a little. I would start to ask them how many swats they thought they deserved. If it was too few an extra one was added. When they got to the point where they said they think it deserved more than the max. I knew they had learned the importance and VALUE of their actions. This form of discipline lasted for about a year and a half to two years with each of my children. As soon as they had learned the VALUE of their actions they were responsible and we changed to fines againest allowance, loss of privileges, etc.