She said: "Who all is coming to your birthday party? How many people are going to be there? Are we doing gifts?" Obviously the first two are easy to answer. We assumed people would bring gifts if they want too, what is the most appropriate way to answer the gift question? And am I right in thinking that her question is a bit rude, and makes me feel a little uncomfortable.....
2007-02-05 08:15:48 · 23 answers · asked by Sharon 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I am afraid I would be so tempted to give her sarcastic answers, as she was terribly rude! These are my first choice answers:
1) Everybody who wants to have a great time!
2) Everybody who wants to have a great time!
3) Unless you want to feel foolish...being the only one w/out a gift in hand!
Seriously, I still think she was rude, but just email her back and say:'gifts' are always optional...(and I would be thinking "so is your attendance")
Happy Birthday! :)
2007-02-05 08:33:10 · answer #1 · answered by 49erfan 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, the question would make me uncomfortable, and she should have addressed all those questions to your boyfriend, who is throwing the party. Asking WHO would be there is extremely rude, as if she will not go if someone else is going. GROW UP. You should tell her you hear that about (whatever the number is) people will be there, and that gifts are optional. If what she is trying to do is avoid embarrassment by showing up without a gift or being the only one bearing a gift, then she should check with your boyfriend. Asking you was just stupid.
2007-02-05 16:35:34 · answer #2 · answered by polkadot5355 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people don't have that little "filter" in their brain to help them from making a fool of themselves and making others feel uncomfortable, others have that filter but choose to remove it as they don't give a rip one way or another. I'm going to assume she's the former rather than the latter.
If this is the case, then the only thing you can really do is reply that this is strictly up to the person attending. That you are sure that some people will probably bring gifts and you are sure that some will not. Politely tell her that you are not expecting anything from her one way or the other.
If it's the latter, then it doesn't really matter how you approach her because she's ill mannered and may or may not take offense in kind.
2007-02-05 17:50:16 · answer #3 · answered by Heather S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have your boyfriend answer the question since he's throwing the party....
But it's a BIRTHDAY party... I wouldn't go to a BIRTHDAY party without a gift, but that's me.
Actually, the more I think about it... The girl is rude for asking those questions. Does it matter who is going/how many are going? She should go because she's invited and a friend.
2007-02-05 16:25:06 · answer #4 · answered by lots_of_laughs 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have asked the gift question before as well, but merely because i was not sure what the plans for the night were. i had bought a large gift for a friend, but didnt know if she would want it to be given at dinner. if she was planning on going out clubbing or anything after, she would have been stuck with the present and had to figure out what to do with it - especially if she didnt bring her car. i was right to ask - as she was catching a taxi into dinner so that she could go out afterwards.
2007-02-05 18:29:31 · answer #5 · answered by Minerva 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that it is her choice if she wants to bring a gift or not. It was very rude of her to ask that, yes, and you should tell her that since it is a birthday dinner that would normally be required, but it's her choice in the end.
2007-02-05 16:22:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't feel that the question was rude, but rather a way for that person to avoid embarassment if he/she shows up without a present and everyone else has brought one. Let the person know that he or she may bring a gift, but that it is not required and his/her attendance would be welcomed either way.
2007-02-05 16:19:45 · answer #7 · answered by justpeachee22 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your completely right --- i dont blame you for feeling uncomfortable --- that was stupid on her part to ask the birthday girl about doing gifts.... i think you should email her back and just say how many people and whos going ... then when it comes to the gift part ... just say "dont worry about getting me a gift i dont want anything ... i just want you to be there" .. bla bla ... that should hint her to say " no no i want to get you something " and if she doesnt realize it - then whatever ? she will be the only one without a gift ? which is only her fault for acting stupid about it.
2007-02-05 16:25:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just answer the first two questions, and tell her that a gift is optional. (gifts are always optional, but the right thing to do would be to give one)
2007-02-05 16:20:32 · answer #9 · answered by mixemup 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her 'if she wants to'. She just wants to make sure that she isn't the only one that shows up without a gift. A more tactfull way of asking would be 'do you have a wish list?'
2007-02-05 16:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋