How do you forgive?

Question

How do you forgive someone that you have a child with that use to lie to you and cheat on you. Someone who use to abuse you physically and emotionally?

Answer 1

I feel you can know what happen..you cannot forget what happen nor overlook or put yourself back in the situation but to forgive is a good thing because your letting go and allowing yourself to move on..by doing this you begin healing, and you are no longer tied to this. no one deserves to be abused

Answer 2

The best way to forgive is to say I forgive him and then this is the harder part. Forget all the abuse BUT not to the point that you allow abuse to reenter your life,
You deserve better then abuse and you should keep in mind as you deal with your anger that the abuser is the one with the problem. His life sucks, he is a bully and he is looking for victims. When you look at the bad memories realize that none of it was your fault and realize that this individual is a sorry excuse for a human and not worth any more of your time.
You will survive but never, EVER accept that someone loves you if he is a controlling and abusive person. Good luck and when you find the man of your life you will know him. He will be the one who is kind, considerate and he will never hurt you emotionally or otherwise.

Answer 3

I suppose the first step is realizing that what that person did to you is not your fault. Forgiveness is something that you should do for yourself; holding on to those feelings of hurt and betrayal will only damage you in the long run. If you feel like your person is being true now, then don't fight those feelings. If you cant trust them then its time to move on...Staying with someone just because you have a child together wont work; you'll just nurture a lot of issues not only for you two, but for your child.

Answer 4

I'm sorry you had to go through all that. It takes a strong person to withstand any one of those things you named. I struggle with forgiveness too, but I learned something recently that may help you. Forgiveness is for you, not to set that other person free. It basically allows you to move on without the anger, hurt, and sadness.

And one more thing....forgiveness does not mean you have to forget.

Answer 5

A better question is why would you want to?

If they lied and cheated then they will keep on doing it. If someone lies to you, 9 out of 10 times they will steal from you and if someone cheats on you, they can always fall back on it and cheat again.

For your best advise, don't forgive them even if they became a priest.

Answer 6

See that this person has issues that you no longer have to bare the consequence of, let go of what use to be, move on to who you want to be.

Pain holds you back and keeps you from being happy. It sounds like yo have given too much already. Give to your child and yourself a whole new perspective of the life you should have and deserve.

Answer 7

You don't forgive him (unless you're insane and can't help yourself).
He can be the kids father and part of their lives but he certainly should be back in your lfe.
Try remembering what it was like and the pain you suffered.

Do you really want to go through that again and worse, expose your child to it?

Answer 8

You don 't, protect yourself and your child and leave them alone. Find someone who you can trust. Take legal action to seperate you and your child from this person. Good luck. Actions speak louder than words, and it is really hard for people to make such big changes. Be safe and good luck

Answer 9

u can never for give the person who just play to into think that she really cared about u, if someone cares about someone they won't break their hearts. So i think u should separate u'rself and u'r child. Good luck, Hope for the best!!

Answer 10

Forgive and forget...move on with your life and your happiness will be your best revenge. Good luck.