Do you trust or get jealous when your significant other talks to men/ women?

Question

I am very much in love with my gitfriend of 15 months but I have some issues that I want to work on . I feel jealous when she tells me or when I see her talking to men . I know that she is not interested but she has such an outgoing and friendly personality she talks to everyone and I hate the thought of other men taking this as flirting and hitting on her . I told her about this and how I feel she said that she will try to refrain from talking to them because she loves me and she doesn't want to ruin what we have . I don't want her to do this cause I don't want her to achyange the person that she is and that would make me controlling . oncve she had a male friend ask her to lunch she said no but I was so angry , I hate feeling like this any honest advice about how to change this behavior before I loose the best thing that ever happened to me . I did get burned a long time ago in the past and my girl never cheated or did anything wrong to me I just want to be happy and at peace

The sad part is that I am an adult and yes I want to act like an adult I know I am the problem but I dont know how to fix it

Answer 1

you need to change your attitude or she's going to leave you. maybe not now, but surely someday. nobody can stand being with someon THAT controlling. you just need to accept that she does need to talk to boys and that she has male friends. a relationship must be based on trust. if you do not have trust, you have nothing.

Answer 2

I can say from experience that this is normal. I had the same problem with my girlfriend. I am a guy and I have allot of female friends as matter of fact over 100. I am an out going person and I try to help everyone. I sat down with my girlfriend and we talked about this and I told her that when I went to BHS that I was nicknamed the love Doctor. I would have girls come up to me all the time with there problems and I would try to solve them. I had a 98% success rate. I got to the point where I would have guys come up to me and ask me to ask there girlfriends out to see if they were faithful. I always had a girl say no to me that they wanted to be with there guy. One day the girls realized what was going on and they all thanked their boyfriends because they knew how I was and would never take them away. To this day I have girls that I knew at BHS and they will give me a hug or kiss on the cheek. So the moral is that you need to have trust which is a big thing for a girl. I hope this helps and good luck. If you need to e-mail me for any more info or advice.

Answer 3

You gf acts that way because she knows that you won't do anything to let the other woman know that you're taken. And, really, even if she's just venting her frustration, I don't blame her. Seriously, what is wrong with you? You know it hurts her, you admit yourself that it's not ok, and yet you do it anyway... Another thing: the other person is not blameless. Not if they know that you are taken, and play into your flirting, with your girlfriend nearby. If you really want to know what is going on in womens minds, when they display such behaviour; they are probably thinking that its their bad luck to have been landed with an *** like you. Why are they possessive? That is a huge generalization. Men do it too. I haven't noticed this behaviour any more from women than men.

Answer 4

Sounds like you have some trust and jealousy issues... You need to work on those with your self, if you can never come to terms on trusting your great girl, it will eventually become a problem that may ruin your relationship. Please do not try to change her because later on this might come back to bite you in the a**. I think if she has male friends and she's open with you about what's going on, then you should respect it because if she had anything to hide, she would not be that open (trust me). She sounds like she likes/loves you a lot.

Answer 5

relationships are about trust and you have to put yourself out there to trust. On the other hand its also about sacrifice. You are sacrificing your insecurities to trust, and I think it would be in her best interest to sacrifice things that make you insecure. That would show a lot on her behalf to show you how much you mean to her. I say be wary, b/c u can only be yourself and I think u were right to tell her your insecurities, but sometimes in relationships we all tend to give the other person benefit of the doubt. You will know in time, and I hope for the best for you. But she needs to do things to reassure you. I would want her to introduce me to the male friends. That would be big on her part. If they are important to her. They are important enough for her to introduce them to you so there is no confusion and you will be able to give 100% to her.

Answer 6

If you love someone let them go...if they love you they will come back. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Don't look for trouble. My husband used to get upset with me because I let him do exactly what he wanted to do. He told me I didn't love him and I told him that I did, but that was not the issue. I TRUST him. Trust is a big thing.

Answer 7

No, not at all. I am secure enough in myself. If you are putting in the effort to keep your partner happy and satisfied in the relationship, you can rest easy. An insecure, jealous partner is a turn-off, in my opinion.

Answer 8

i was once in ur shoes
i just keep it moving and dont play any mind to it
and let it be the minute u let it bother u thats when u ugly sides comes out and thats not cool

Answer 9

yes..i get very jealous..if i se my man talking to someone...he has never really seen me talking to other guys so i dont know if he is a jealous person

Answer 10

Grow up. See an analyst about your insecurity.