Help I need advice?

Question

I am in love with my boyfriend of 4 years and I hope to marry him one day but me being 29 and his sister being 51 we aren't the best of friends, it is like she doesn't want me with her brother which is my boyfriend whom is 49. It bothers me so bad that his sister acts like she doesn't like me and she doesn't hold conversation with me. She doesn't have much to say. We were all together on yesterday but she had nothing to say to me but hey and she was in my house. Do you think I should just overlook her since I really don't have to deal with her but I want our relationship to become better for her brother sake. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

What do you really have in common with a woman who is old enough to be your mother? The fact that you're dating a man old enough to be your dad is disturbing to some people. I'm sure she doesn't like you and thinks her brother should find someone his own age. That's what happens when you get with someone 2 decades older than you: some people don't feel the need to accept it.

After 4 years of dating, the old fart should have proposed by now- what's he waiting for? You're not getting any younger, so if you want kids, you should really consider this man's age. Hell- he's older than my husband!

Answer 2

The sister obviously sees you as the tart, the young minx, the epitome of her brother's mid-life crisis. She is probably bothered by the fact that her brother is involved with someone 20 years younger than him.

However, since he's serious enough about you to marry you, she needs to get over it. She ought to have enough courtesy to at least hold a basic conversation with you, especially when she is in your home. She doesn't have to like you, or like that her brother is making a "mistake," as she sees it, but she does have to be polite about it and not create stress or dissension in her brother's life.

This is a good opportunity to be the bigger person, and show her your maturity. Go to her and tell her that "I know we've never been close, and probably never will be, but for (boyfriend)'s sake, I'd really like for us to try and be friendly with each other, and be able to talk to each other when we're all together." If she doesn't make at least a gruding effort to be more sociable after that, then it's her problem and you don't have to worry about her anymore.

Answer 3

Sounds like you really love your man, if that's the case then focus on your relationship and forget the sister. She does not make your relationship. Yes, it is true you have to deal with her permanently once you guys get married but once you are nice and respectful her conscience will get the best of her. Stay focused on your man and your happiness, she will come around if you guys are getting married because she will not want to be a a stress to her brother (if she loves him).

Answer 4

Well honey this need not be a problem. First you really

like this guy and so you have to like his family. First lets

find something about her that you can relate to..maybe

she has nice hair, or a nice skin tone - how about her voice

does she have a pleasant tone? We are going to compliment

her on the good points and ignore her silentness, Maybe

she thinks you are much better looking than her, maybe she

is afraid she is losing her brother . Tell her you would like to

have her for a friend. Good Luck Honey

JULIA G>

Answer 5

It would be great if you all could get along, for your husbands sake, but that is not always possible, try and take the high road, talk to your sister in law, tell her you know she does not like you, and so on, and she what she has to say about it. She does not have to like you, but if she is going to be in your house and around you at times, then let her know she at least needs to show you some respect!!

Answer 6

First of all, it's nothing personal; the sister is a little threatened by you, because she feels that you pose a threat to their sibling bond. The way to overcome her apathy is too be extra nice to her and, maybe, bring her some food (cookies, brownies, candy....unless ofcourse she is obese...in that case, bring her a fruit basket). Anyway, the bottomline is that you should keep on being nice...and eventually, the sister will open up and your kindness will break through her shell.

Answer 7

She'll come around when she will,,give it time.She was at your house without drama so,,let the sleeping dog lie so to speak.Eventually you will get to know each other slowly & she will begin to see that you are sincere.She may have already started to see things possitive.I think that she is just concerned about her brother being hurt.Dont say anything unless she asks.

Answer 8

You should first address your concerns with your boyfriend. If you two live together it is your house and you should not feel uncomfortable in your own house. If he does not understand and take your side then you may have larger issues to deal with.

Answer 9

the reason why his sister is acting that way is becuz of the age different she may feel that you do not really love him as for staying with him it depends on how much you love for intance you could marry him and she have of heart or she stays the way she is but if you love your man dont let him go for anyone

Answer 10

maybe you two should spend a day together, you know, hang out. that's the only way you guys will have a better relationship. i think she just has a problem with your age, but you need to show her ur a great person. dont just try to hang out with her once, keep doing it. and dont give up.