I am almost 19 years old and about to finish going to school to be a Certified Nurses Assistant in march. And I want to move out of my moms house and into my boyfriends apartment about 3 hours away.... He has a really good job up there and has a job lined up for me, plus theres a really good tech school that I want to go to for my Paramedic courses... Should I go? And how should I tell my mom I want to go? I have tried talking to her about it and all she does is yell and me and tell me I am immature and that I dont know what love is, and that If i go I will be adandoning her and so on.... what do i do??
2007-02-05 07:58:36 · 16 answers · asked by firemedicdixie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Also, Me and him have been dating for about 2 years, and have never had sex, and we have both agreed that we will not until we get married, so the whole baby thing is not an issue. Also, by the time I was planning to move I will already have finished school for My Certified Nursing Assistant, and can get a pretty good job where he lives. I have pretty much made up my mind I want to go with him, I just need to know how to tell my mom to make her understand? I have my own truck that is in my name and paid for and have been paying all my own bills, cellphone, credit card etc. for over a year now, so I am responsible.
2007-02-05 08:13:09 · update #1
Me and my mom have never had a great relationship by the way. She is controlling and refuses to let me have any independance.
2007-02-05 09:00:21 · update #2
Shacking up out of wedlock when you're only 19 years old seems pretty sad to me. What's wrong with getting your own apartment or sharing with another student? Do you really want to be shacking up with some guy, pretending to be his "wife", playing house, sleeping in his bed, and all that before you even finish your education? If you "love" him, then get married before you move in with him. If you're not ready to marry him, don't even consider shacking up with a guy.
2007-02-05 08:04:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Besides times when your mom is upset with you thinking about making this decision, how is your relationship with her? Are you close? Try not to make a decision hastily and with bad feelings between the 2 of you. Also, like others have said, think seriously about this decision. Waiting until marriage sounds like something that people just say, but perhaps it is because some of us (me for example) have experience in making bad decisions in the past. Part of getting married used to be the joy of finally being able to live with each other - buying that first house or renting that first apartment together, etc. Living together really complicates what could be a good relationship already - it really doesn't prepare you for married life, no matter what you may think.
You could always get your own place close to your boyfriend - and have your mom help you find it and decorate it, etc. if you have an otherwise good relationship with her.
2007-02-05 08:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by mmct21 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. It sounds like you have really thought things through. Just be careful...at 19, I thought I was in love and married a guy who later turned out to be very abusive. Sometimes, it helps to wait awhile until you are a bit more mature (although if you tried telling me that at 19, I would have scoffed at you).
When you move in with someone, the whole sex thing becomes much more tempting. If you are determined to wait until marriage, stick to your guns, and make sure that he understands that sex is not an option, even though you are living together. Some guys (even really good guys) assume that sex is just part of living together, and you need to be sure he's going to respect you on that decision.
My mom was very controlling, too, and the best thing I did for our friendship was to move out. It was hard at first, but we got along much better after I was no longer living under her roof.
Just make sure that this decision is the right one for you. Once you move out, it's really hard to go back if you ever change your mind.
Have a great day!
2007-02-05 09:24:43 · answer #3 · answered by rita_alabama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can see your point and your mother's. I think she's afraid of what you might be geting into at a young age. I say that nicely, because you are young. I moved in to my boyfriend's house when I was 21 and it was a huge mistake. But it may be different for you since you're already financially responsible and you have your education. Do what you think is right =) the first thing about independence is doing just that and not letting anyone else "help" you make a decsion. =) Good luck!!
2007-02-05 08:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
moving in with your boyfriend is a really big deal because it binds you to him financially. plus it will ruin yours and yur mom's relationship. my best friend just did the same thing when she was 19. she actually ended up having a baby (not saying that would happen to you) but she and him did not work out ( and they had been dating for three years before they moved in) if you and your boy friend are the real thing, then finish school and try to move out on your own first.
2007-02-05 08:07:26 · answer #5 · answered by vanessa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose when you guys get married you'll have to get a California King so you can ALL cuddle together. Maybe you can even have some sort of group ceremony. You don't mind marrying his parents too, do you? Apparently, he already has. That boy needs help. And his parents are selfish ******* for raising him that way. I can't believe you've put up with this nonsense for 2 years. That makes you sound as crazy as all of them. Sever ties quickly. Before they suck you into their cult.
2016-03-29 06:23:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the fact that your questioning it sounds like you're unsure.
Don't do it. Don't go from being under mom's roof to being under his. If you want independence, try it on your own first.
Big mistake at your age (yes, you are an adult) to move in with him. Get a female room mate or a place of your own before even thinking of moving in with him and mend your relationship with your mom.
2007-02-05 08:40:13 · answer #7 · answered by pittsburgh-girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I move out of the college dorm ; to stay with my boyfriend when I was 20. If you really like him do it. If it doesn't work out at least you got the experience living with a man. I didn't tell my mother until I actually did it. She call me all kinds of names. After a month It was back to normal. Good Luck
2007-02-05 08:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by Proud Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to have her permission to move out, you are eighteen years of age. This is in the US, I don't know about other countries. Anyway, as for as telling her, tell her just like you told us. Staight forward, and with no regrets. She will pull the mother card, and you don't argue with her, just tell her it was not asking for permission, I am informing you. I wanted you to know so you don't come home and discover I am gone. I want to invite you to be a part of my life, but I want you to be kind to me, not put my decissions down. Tell her that. Maybe she will go for it maybe not, but do what you feel you need to do.
2007-02-05 16:10:38 · answer #9 · answered by trhwsh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your decision and if you think that your mature enough to go move into your boyfriends place so go for it but. Just remember one thing boyfriends come and go family will be there always.. and if i was you ...you better be protected when having sex ..If you get pregnant it is NOT your mothers problem to deal with the child. It will be you and your boyfriends and you will have to deal with it and it will be hard enough going to classes and dealing with a child.
2007-02-05 08:09:27 · answer #10 · answered by ice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋