How to deal with abusive and insane sister? anyone have one? How do you deal?

Question

My sister can be set off by next to nothing. At xmas she attacked her hubby because he didn't support her when she got into a yelling rage at his sister, because his sister asked her "how are you doing"
Literally the slightest thing that is contrary to her way of thinking and your toast. This makes life difficult as you have to always agree with her and/or do what she wants, and sometimes I don't want to.
sometimes she flips out when you think all is well and she is enjoying herself.
also she yells at my wife everytime she see her.

Anyway, for probably obvious reasons I have been staying right away from her, BUT this is wreaking havoc with my mom who wants "A nice happy family". My mom sent us all a poem she found on the internet just today about the importance and permanence of family.

If I re-initiate contact with my sister, Does anyone know of a way to do it that might keep me/my wife sane and her under control?
(My syster already gets pro phsyciatric help)

Answer 1

Have a family meeting and get her committed. I would certainly keep my distance away from her, if she was going to be at my Mom's - I wouldn't go and put myself/partner through some abuse. You have to draw the line somewhere and some time.

Obviously what your mother wants and your sister's attitude do not jive anyway. Make your own decisions, don't be controlled - stand up for your wife and do not put her through anymore abuse from your sister.

Life goes on. A happy family to me is a myth now a days.

Answer 2

I'm very sorry this is happening. It sounds like she is not getting the right kind of psychiatric care. She also sounds like she's bi-polar (my mom used to act like this before she was diagnosed). At any rate, you need to keep yourself physically safe and be compassionate.
I would only visit with her in public places where it is much harder for her to go on the attack. You don't even have to spell this out to her, just invite her to out to dinner or a movie.
Explain your feelings and concerns to your mother. It's not about hatred, it's about safety.

Answer 3

you have absolutely no control over your sister, and until she has control over her behaviour I would tell your mom there will be no happy family, because you refuse To have you and your wife used as a verbal punching bag by your sister, As well you will not be at any family functions until she does, Your mom is trying to get you to change your mind because she is also helpless in the face of your sister, The only way if you your entire family to get to gether and face this woman down and tell her she is neither wanted or expected at family functions until her behaviour is fit for company, and stand firm If she shows the function ends immediately, it is going to be difficult to get her to get help for herself, but until she does you do not need to be her next target

Answer 4

That's a good question. I have a similar situation with my sister. I usually only see her on holidays/birthdays and try to be friendly then but she's unpredictable. Other than that email works well to keep in touch.

Answer 5

Maybe you need to become involved in her psychiatric help - family sessions, perhaps. I mean you can the rest of your family - she obviously needs a lot of help. I'll bet her husband does too, having to deal with her outbursts all the time. Have you talked to him about it? Maybe he can recohnize her moods - when the time is right to talk to her etc. I'll bet he'd be happy to have someone talk to him about it.

Answer 6

Pray for her.If that does not work have the sike give her some Prozac and Valium and sedatives. (Lots of them.) Good Luck!

Answer 7

tell here