O.k. well I have been with my boyfriend for four years now, well at the begining of our relationship, it was rocky, and after being together 6 months, he cheated on me and broke up with me, well we remained friends and I started seeing another guy, it turns out the other guy was my boyfriend's best friend. Well I slept with this guy and he didn't call me after that. I didn't want to tell my boyfriend(then ex) becuase I knew he would get hurt about it. Well it turns out that guy told my boyfriend approached me about it crying and everything and I denied the whole thing. Well he just recently found out that I lied to him about it, and he is really hurt with me. Was I wrong to lie? I was affraid to hurt him, and we weren't together at the time it happened. Oh and I am going to add that he slept with a women 10 years older than him around the same time, and never told me about it until now! so who is wrong here, at least my boyfriend knew I was seeing his best friend.
2007-02-05 07:28:16 · 37 answers · asked by bluemoon 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was young and stupid... I was only 16 at the time, soo try not to jusdge a stupid 16 year old. also this was three years ago, i'm wonderin why he is so mad about it now? HE was the one who cheated and that's the reason we had broken up.
2007-02-05 07:36:09 · update #1
You know your boyfriend was 100% in the wrong... But so were you. If you were broke up then you had every right to sleep with someone else, but you should have been truthful about it when he asked. Or told him it was none of his business since you were broke up.
I think you both need some quality time to talk and work things out, or go your separate ways.
Lots of luck to you.
2007-02-05 07:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by Should be Working! 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, if the two of you were broken up at the time, then you should've told him the exact same thing you just told us; before the other guy had a chance to tell him. If you didn't know that was his friend then you didn't do it on purpose, but by not telling and then lying about it, it makes it seem as though you had something to hide.
You can't be mad at him for not telling you what happened while you were broken up, you didn't tell him either. Either the two of you are going to forgive each other and move past it together or move on because the trust has been lost.
2007-02-05 07:32:50 · answer #2 · answered by geminig 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he's hurt. #1, you slept with his best friend and then #2 you lied to him. I don't know if you can ever savage this relationship. Where he (your ex) also slept with someone (BTW, who cares how old she was), he never lied about it either. (although, by omission, it is hiding the truth, which is what lying also does.)Anyway, you two should go out and find new mates. He cheats, you, at least wait until you're broken up, also go to bed with other people. You're poison for each other. Unless you want to have drama at every turn of this relationship, go find someone new, and get on with your life.
I'm curious as to why you would start to see his best friend, sleep with him, and not expect to get called on it? Didn't you think the best friend would say anything? Best friends always, eventually, feel guilty, and say something. They reason that's it for their own good. Seeing the best friend was mistake #1? How would you feel if he went out with your best friend? (whether or not he would sleep with her) Get someone new and start with a clean slate. Good luck.
2007-02-05 07:43:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um well the first and foremost important thing in any kind of relationship is honesty!!! you probably sohouldn't have lied about it but that is in the past now. You need to think about how to fix it for the future. If you still want this relationship with him come clean and tell him the truth along with the reason why you lied in the first place. Dont go over board and start hammering him on his wrongs, make it about you. Maybe then you both can get those skeletons out of your closets and become closer.
2007-02-05 07:35:41 · answer #4 · answered by DeeLicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is to blame. You became involved in a relationship that had problems from the very begining. Even if you have been together for four years you were still having problems with one another. And what makes this even more difficult is the fact you slept with his best freind. I belive that you should strongley consider breaking all ties with this guy and his best friend and starting over again. I am truly sorry for you and him but you need to take the first step forward for you. Don't end up hooking up him and end up in divorce court later. "Think about it"
2007-02-05 07:41:18 · answer #5 · answered by angels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You lied. That's what it comes down to. Even if you weren't together at the time you considered him a friend. Which to me you shouldn't lie to a friend either. But you do need to have boundaries with friends where you can say "that's none of your business" or "I'd rather not talk about it with you". But that's hindsight. You lied and that makes you wrong, but you did have his feelings in mind when you did it. You need to apologize to him for lying to him but he needs to understand why you did it. He'll get over it and you'll make up. I mean if he came to you crying about it before, it means he truly believed it and yet still went to you. He's already dealt with the pain of it even if you told him it never happened. So now he's just dealing with the hurt of being lied to. But it will get better, give him time and make sure you say sorry.
2007-02-05 07:38:43 · answer #6 · answered by fish_named_elephant 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like neither one of you are really into each other. I'd move on. If he loved you, he would not have cheated or went after some old lady, and if you really loved him, even if you were broken up you would have never slept with someone else. I'd say cut your looses, it's been four years and it seems like you both are wasting your time. GO FIND SOMEONE BETTER! Once a cheater always a cheater. Also if my math is correct you are only like 19/20 years old. YOU ARE YOUNG! You have all the time to meet someone better.
2007-02-05 07:37:45 · answer #7 · answered by BD S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey chica. my girlfriends approach me with situtation like this, surprisingly, ALL the time.
Answer: you were both wrong!
Explaination: You lied. that could be a good reason why it was so rocky. Lying is such a betrayal wether its to protect someone or not. He shouldnt have cheeted on you. but you didnt know that the guy was you ex's best friend then again he believed that you were telling the truth and yet you got caught. you guys werent together. but you did cross the line when sleeping with his best friend. so you both are even. its time for a new start. wipe the slate clean! try again!
GOOD LUCK!
Niko.
2007-02-05 07:36:24 · answer #8 · answered by Niko 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
On the surface of things, "he" began the "wrong" (cheating while you were together)
... and it led to a situation where you were more or less "forced" to do wrong (lying about what you did ... even with good intention)
altho at the time you were not under obligation of "faithfulness"
Your boyfriend displays an "ok for me [twice even] , but not ok for you" attitude which does not bode well for the relationship.
The dynamics of this "imbalance" might not allow enough peace of mind for you.
Peace of mind is important. You have a tough decision to make whether to attempt to go forward or not.
I wish you luck
2007-02-05 07:42:21 · answer #9 · answered by atheistforthebirthofjesus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well yes you were wrong to lie about it. I know you were thinking that you didn't want to hurt him, but by not telling the truth you hurt him more. He must really like you if he got all worked up about you sleeping with another guy. And he was just as wrong to sleep with that older woman. Sleeping with people comes with a lot of..how do i put it...umm baggage. I think you shouldn't live in the past and worry about whats going on right now in your life with him.Good luck
2007-02-05 07:51:07 · answer #10 · answered by gotansas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋