I was just wondering if I am being overly sensitive. I am dating a guy who is of another race and have been for some time now. I have introduced him to my friends and family but he has yet to introduce me to his. I really like him and we get along just fine but, how come he has not introduced me to anyone but his friends. We even talked about our future and getting married. I brought it up and he said he just hasn't gotten around to it. I am beginning to think that he doesn't want his family to know or they already know and they told him they don't want to meet me. I don't want to push him away but its bothering me. What do you think? and what if they don't want to meet me because I'm black? I doubt that we cam make it work if his family doesn't want me in their family.
2007-02-05 06:51:40 · 10 answers · asked by h8ucrazee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know how you feel. I am a white guy who has an obsession with chocolate. I have been in a number of interacial relationships and my family has always told me one thing......"We don't care what color she is as long as she makes you happy and treats you right." Quite frankly, even if his parents don't approve I would still stay in the relationship and when my family was ready to stop being ignorant and accept the person that I loved into our family then that is when I would go home.
He should have the same mentality, this is not the 1950 it is 2007!! But perhaps because as a society we still put a color on everything he is a bit nervous about taking you home. I dont think he is ashamed of you, but the question should be addressed, "Why haven't I met your family." and you should not accept his BS answer. The truth needs to be told before so you can determine if you want to pursue the relationship.
I told my family over the phone, not because I was ashamed, but because we were 3,000 miles away. They spoke on the phone with her a lot and when they finally did meet each other nothing else mattered. My family never brought race into the picture.
You are right though, if you feel like it is an issue with his family than you need to talk about it with him. You can not help who you fall in love with and the color of a persons' skin should not determine or interfere with who you choose to date.
2007-02-05 07:09:10 · answer #1 · answered by voodoo_lover_23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know a few inter racial relationships you have already seen the down side & this is only the begining .Some have not excepted it at all. Having children is really a trying time. Most have ended not well she has the children
This makes it really difficult .Some are doing fine its your call on how you will deal with the furture.. Best of luck
2007-02-05 15:07:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a horrible thought dear, but I understand what you are feeling. You aren't being overly-sensitive at all. Follow your gut. Don't be afraid to ask him this sensitive question. If y'all are talking about marriage, then this is the time to be meeting parents. I hate to be so distrustful of other races, but growing up in the south made me this way. But you're right, it's not going to work if his family doesn't want you. Its going to cause a whole lot of unnecessary conflict. You have to ask him the tough questions. Even if you're afraid of pushing him away. The questions need to be asked.
2007-02-05 14:59:42 · answer #3 · answered by Jaime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a girl for years who never introduced me to her family. She finally admitted to me that her family would not appprove of her dating a black man. We were the best of friends and really cared for each other, I never treated her wrong and I could'nt figure out why she waited so long to tell me that. The relationship did'nt work because her brother tried to get a group of guys to beat me up, and that caused problems with us. Hope your situation does'nt turn out like mine. M y family really accepted her, can't believe hers would'nt accept me.
2007-02-05 14:59:59 · answer #4 · answered by Dane Cruz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is he a white guy? he might have reservations due to his family and friends being bigoted..you should get the straight dope before getting really serious. you have to look out for yourself..
2007-02-05 14:55:52 · answer #5 · answered by sugarbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will meet them eventually.... and how often would you have to deal with them anyway if they actually don't like you because of your ethnic background? 4 times a year tops?... but he'll get a round to it if your relation progresses further....
2007-02-05 16:07:15 · answer #6 · answered by justaname80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IM SORRY TO SAY BUT I THINK HES FAMILY DOSENT WANT TO MEET U CUZ UR BLAK... BUT U SHOULDNT LET DAT GET IN BETWEEN YA... REMEMBER UR WITH HIM, U WANT TO MARRY HIM, U WANT A FUTURE WITH HIM. NOTICE I SAY HIM N NOT HES FAMILY. IT DOSENT MATTER IF HES FAMILY DONT LIKE U. DEY DONT HAVE TO FOR U TO BE ABLE TO BE WITH THIS GUY. HES FAMILY CAN LIKE U OR HATE U BUT DAT SHOULDNT CHANGE DA WAY HE DOES FOR U. N IF DOES DAT MEANS HE LETS HES FAMILY RUN HIM N U DONT NEED A GUY LIKE DAT... JUST TELL HIM U WANNA KNOW DA TRUTH. MY HUSBANDS FAMILY DIDNT LIKE ME AT FIRST N U KNOW WAT I SED F*K DEM! IM WITH HIM N ONLY HIM NOT WITH HES WHOLE F*UKIN FAMILY. N HE KNOWS I DONT LIKE HES FAMILY EITHER BUT WE DIDNT LET DAT GET IN THE WAY OR HOW WE FEEL FOR EACH OTHER.
2007-02-05 15:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by mperez637 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's nothing wrong with it, but only some people can pull it off -- he doesn't sound like one of them
2007-02-05 15:12:44 · answer #8 · answered by Zee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what the heck did mperez say ?
2007-02-05 15:03:15 · answer #9 · answered by DASH 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
stick with your own race it'll be alot less drama
2007-02-05 14:55:23 · answer #10 · answered by mrsp27 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋