the problem is that my sister did love marriage 10 months ago..
and my parents were not ready 4 this because that boy was not good 4 my sister .he was doing law from symbiosys college he was in final year now he is not ready 2 give his final exams .he want 2 make carrier in entertainment field and 2nd problem is that he is abusing my sister physically and mantelly ..he did brain wash of my sister so she is also against us. she is in trouble she she did M.B.A and that boy is 4 years younger then her that boy has left his job and my sister is doing job 4 him . i think that boy is not good 4 her ..he will not do any thing in his life ..and i can not see my sister struggelling to live life like this. we are from financially sound family , i want 2 save my sister from that boy. she is in great trouble she goes office and comes in evening and after that that boy creates so much trouble tension he does not allow her 2 talk any family member ...wt 2 do in this situation. pleas suggest
2007-02-05 06:45:16 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Whatever you state here maybe right but until & unless your sister herself comes out & make official complaint against her husband in the recently enacted the protection of women from the domestic Act, 2005 nothing can be done in such a case. If she does not make any statement against her husband no action can be taken against him. If she is happy with him all your presumptions & assumptions have no strength. As a educated lady she knows her legal rights so no use telling her what to do in such a situation. You say she has been brain washed but even if you try out making any police complaint against your brother in law & she comes out & defend him what you will get out of it. After all police will also take her statement as correct & will throw out your complaint as frivolous.
2007-02-05 15:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by vijay m Indian Lawyer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The boy is not bad he has married your sister. If your sister has trouble she will tell u. She wants u to mind your business. She is working hard, but she loves the boy, he is younger, so there is more love and she is happy to do more work for this boy. If u want to help, wait, let your sister ask for help. If not, u may be responsible for breaking a happy marriage, of your own sister. Give the boy some time, if he becomes a film star, and makes a lot of money, what then ? U should not behave badly with your relative because he is not making enough money today.
2007-02-06 17:45:05 · answer #2 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i appreciate your sentiments for your sister but you can help someone only when they are ready to take the help.the most that u can do is contact her friend who is still in touch with her and help her through the friend.don't send her money. the boy would use it fro his own selfish interests.neither do let the friend make her feel that she has done a mistake and that she should come back to the family.she needs support.let her get that unconditionally.i understand the brain washing.help her realize what is happening to her through the friend.please don't get urself or ur family members involved any where on the picture.deal it sensitively.pray for her.if possible hire a counselor or a therapist.u would have to place someone trust worthy in her life.might be as a neighbor to her???????what is most important is that make sure the person does not end up xploiting or black mailing u....best of luck.there is a strong possibilty that ur sister wants to come back but is afraid as u ppl may not accept her.it is very necessary for u to understand her mind.dont blame her husband.that would hurt her because this means blaming her for the situation.tackle it sensitively.visit a therapist or counsellor and talk to ur family
2007-02-12 23:17:18 · answer #3 · answered by gary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good to know you are a caring brother, and you are unable to see what is happening, Your sister married on her choice, to help her husband is her choice, to work and provide is her choice, from the information you have given it shows you all have a problem witnessing her acts, she is happy so why bother, if she know how to get into a mess, she will also know how to get out of it. YOur brother in law is abusing her physically and emotonally, but it takes two for this to happen, your sister is allowing this to happen and you seem to forget this, so she is part of the problem.
Let her understand her own life, she is the best person to make choices and not you, perhaps this is an experience she herself wants so she can know what is it she wants out of her won life. NO one can decide what is good for the other, we all make choice based on our own experiences.
What you can do is be a good friend than a brother, do not be judgemental, do a lot of listening, support her and be a good friend. if you are going to put her down and tell her that this is not what she deserves, you are worng. she will shut down and seek support outside. Do not gossip, help her live her life, surely she will come to a point and tell enough is enough. Do not give her any financial help help should be only in the form of just listening and validating her situations and feeling. Encourage her to choose her own plan of action, she will surely realize that this is not the life she wanted. So be patient.. If there is danger to her life then call the police.
2007-02-06 06:42:10 · answer #4 · answered by thachu5 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your concern is genuine but I am afraid you cannot do much as she is blinded with so called love. All you gotta do is be good to her and let the time do it's job. If the boy is really not worthy she will realise it by herseslf and regret her decision some day.
She's already married to the person, isn't she? Now there's no point in trying to break their relation as it would make her feel as if you guys are against her.
Just keep supporting her whenever she's not in a good mood. Stop talking about her relation with the guy. Show your concern about her future prospects. Make her realise her values. That's all what you can do. If possible, be friendly with the guy too. This will make your sister feel bit better and she may start discussing things out with you guys.
She has chosen to struggle. Instead of dragging her out of the matter support her with her struggle. help her out whenever required. Create some piece of harmony within yourselves. Dont' bether her with her decisions.... Everthing would be fine.
All the best...
:-)
2007-02-05 07:39:27 · answer #5 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Tell her that you love her, that you'll always be there for her. Then tell her your views. Make sure that they don't come out too strongly, though, because that might turn her against you even more. I have a brother, and I know that he would be very protective of me, if I ever got into such a situation. After you've told her your views, ask her about hers. Is she really suffering? Does she love him? Is he really abusing her? Once you get the answers to these questions, you will know what to do, whether to let them be as they are, or to take her away and convince her to file a divorce. His income and his choice of career should not come into your arguments at all, whatever you do. Love is love, and it is sometimes extremely blind.
2007-02-13 00:15:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are very caring and loving brother.
you explain your sister... I am sure she will listen to you after some time,don't give up.It is tough at the beginning but she will listen to you.
you want your sister to be happy and live a wonderful life and she deserves it.
Make her realize that her husband is not a good person and he abuses her physically and mentally .Her husband is a pathetic kind of person .you complain to police if he behaves in the same way next time
I think she is scared as she married to that guy against your parents concern .she must be thinking that your parents wont support her now.
If your parents are against her tell them that she the same girl whom they use to adore sooooo much I bet they will support you. After all she is their lovely daughter.she need their support
And she must be also thinking that now she can't marry to a good guy as she is already married but tell her in this world there are all kinds of people I am sure she will find a very nice guy.
Explain her with lot of patience because she is disturbed and sad out of her life.
At present she dont have any family support but slowly she will get your and your parents support.
The only thing is IMPORTANT is she should leave that guy as soon as possible otherwise she can go under depression and sometime mental illness
We dont want this to happen.
I can understand her situation.I am married woman
Dear brother don't worry She will be fine once she will get your and your parents support because you are the only people who can understand and help her
2007-02-05 07:48:55 · answer #7 · answered by friend 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not mentioned how old you are, but I will try to give some advice as to what to do for your sister, since you show you care a lot for her, and are worried because of this situation with her boyfriend. First of all, are your Parents, worried about it, and second of all, do they know that you are worried about your sister? If your sister tolerates the abuse of her boyfriend, and she does not want anything to do with the family, let her deal with it, and I am sure that she will come to her senses and will be coming back to all of you. In the meantime please stop worrying about it,, and go on with your life, because you won't be able to function in your daily life. I care and I wish I could have helped you more then I could but, it is up to your sister as to what she wants to do with her life, and I hope it will not be too late for her before she realized the mistake she made.
2007-02-13 03:49:48 · answer #8 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look here,
your sister has an educated mind, she knows what she is doing, even though you see her in trouble, there might be parts to it that may not be open to you, like may be her immense love for him, or something else.,
dont try to make her see sense, because that will only make her more opposite to you and away from you
in a situation where you will not be in a position to help her in the future,
so be supportive of her,
and make close associations with your brother-in-law, it might be tougher than just suggesting, but that way you will be able to know what he thinks and what his goals are, atleast someone ought to know him for what he is other than your sister.
2007-02-05 09:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by krishna 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do everything you can to show your sister what a bad person her boyfriend is. That's all you can do. But in the end, it's her decision whether she wants to be with this boyfriend or not. Just make sure you stay a part of her life, and give her an open door if she ever decides she wants to come back.
2007-02-05 07:04:44 · answer #10 · answered by rklst9pitt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋