Should I trust him?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together 6 years. We live together in a house we bought together. We talk about the future, About getting married and having a child..Recently he has become friends with a girl he works with. She calls him on the phone to chat and he calls her. He promises they are just friends and I have nothing to worry about..He has never given me a reason not to trust him b4, Should I continue to trust him and this new friendship?

Were not married yet because.Were saving to have my dream wedding, He has said he would like to see her and i become friends also. They mostly talk about work on the phone. But they do talk about other stuff. He doesn't leave the room when they are on the phone. She is married, But unhappily...Maybe i am over reacting.. I told him how i felt and he said he wants me to have faith in our relationship and to trust that he is committed to me and loves only me..i asked if i made him choose between our 6 year relationship and their 2 week friendship what woud he do. He said duh he'd choose him and i. but he thinks that would be selfish and unfair of me.

Answer 1

yeah you should trust him if he has never given you a reason not to like you said their is nothing wrong with him having friends that are girls

Answer 2

Yes you should be worried. Together for six years, and not even an engagement, he might be tired of the same old thing, and has the chance now with this new co-worker, if he knows you're o.k. with them talking and stuff, then he is going to assume it's easier to just have an affair, since you WOULDN'T SUSPECT A THING. since your asking this question on here, I can tell that you're concerned about this friendship. If you didn't really have a thing to worry about, then you wouldn't be asking others what they thought, either way I think you should be worried, because I will almost bet, that your boyfriend may not think of having a sexual future with this girl, but this girl is thinking that about your boyfriend. It will only be a matter of time. Women are sneaky lil b*^%e$ when it comes to another women's man. They like the challenge.

Answer 3

If he hasn't given you any reason not to trust him than you can't really start questioning his intentions with his new friend girl.In the past has he ever been caught of cheating or have you ever found anything that would give you reason to think he was cheating.Give he enough rope to hang himself.If he is going to have this female friend you have to categorize her as you would his male friends.No calls after a certain time ,you know stuff like that.But remember trust is a major key in a relationship without that what do you have?Don't start looking for dirt because when you do you're going to find a mess.

Answer 4

If hes never given you a reason, I would'nt push it too far, unless you really truley believe that there may be something going. But talking on the, well thats the least of your worries, now if things start not adding up, such as unknown where abouts, and yours and his realyionship takes a different turn, for no other reason other then this "new friend", maybe question him. Maybe you can suggest meeting her and maybe the two of you can be friends also. But, just because hes never given you anyreason in the past to doubt him, remember this, hes a man, and men are bound to screw things up sooner or latter.

Answer 5

well if you have never had a reason not to trust him why not trust him now. friendships form all the time, especially when you are working with that person. as long as she is not calling him every day and late at night there is nothing to worry about...

if he starts taking calls in the other room, or not answering his cell when she calls, going out to more than the normal 'happy hours' or starting to work later than normal, then you should be concerned.

the worse thing you can do is to accuse him of cheating or worse, if he generally just ahs a new friend...

make sure that you let him know that you trust him, but ask if it would be ok if the three of you went to a movie or out to lunch. i assume that you have met all of his other friends, she shouldnt be any different. if he has objections, bring that to his attention, and make sure you let him know that if oyu had a new friend that happened to be a guy, you wouldnt shut him out if he wanted to meet him...

good luck

Answer 6

Well it depends. My husband and I just went though something like this. The only problem I have with him chatting it up with someone from the opposit sex is that he never does that with me. I want to be the one he calls and laughs with. That should be me. He has realized that it has made me feel uncomfortable and doesn't talk to her as much. We're trying to work on our freindship to get that spark back. And I think that's what it was...we lost that spark and he found it talking to someone else. Don't loose the spark...speak up and tell him how you feel. Just watch how you approach it. It's hard not to come across like you're jealous and insecure. So it's all in the tone. Good luck!

Answer 7

I would say yes to trust him. Until he GIVES you a reason not to trust him, I wouldn't worry. Invite her over to your house for dinner or something so you can meet her and see what she's like etc. If he insists there's nothing there, he'll think that inviting her will be a nice idea. If he hims and haws over it and talks you out of it, it's time to start asking questions etc....you have a right to know, and he should be able to give you answers you're looking for.

Answer 8

Listen to what you are asking "Should i trust him" Obviously this is bothering you or else you wouldn't even ask this! If it does bother you, talk to him about it!Let him know how you feel about it! If he really loved you he wouldn't talk to her anymore. Cuz you should be more important to him then some chick he just met! There's nothing wrong with friends but why are the calling eachother?? Don't they have enough at work?? What do they talk about anyways?? that seems very fishy to me! Don't remain silent about something that bothers you just cuz you want to remain a "cool" "understanding Gf"!! SPEAK UP! and let him know!

Answer 9

Although it may not seem easy...you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. If you let this girl get to you then she wins, and you lose.

Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.
- Joan Lunden

Trust him and don't be paranoid, just try to pretend like she does not even exist. Ask to meet her in person, that will show him that you are trying to be the bigger person and trust him, which he will appriciate.

Answer 10

listen... I am just going to let you once. If your boyfriend of 6 years are together and already living together your most likely married to me. But yes you should trust him but then again he is disrespecting you as a woman. And as a woman myself you should let him know that he disrespecting you because if he has a friend then you have a friend. What he should of did instead of making you feel uncomforable he should intoduced her to you so that you could of been her friend as well. Girl you should step up to the plate and let him know some things

Answer 11

I don't think there's a reason not to trust him. I DO think it's weird if he hangs out with her alone. Even if he's not planning to cheat, she might get the wrong idea. And it just looks bad. Tell him you're uncomfortable with it. If he loves you he should understand.
I have guy friends, but I only hang out with them when I'm with other people or with my husband. Even though I'd never cheat, I wouldn't want to make my husband feel jealous or uncomfortable. I have told them that I won't hang out with them alone because of that, and they all understand.

We've also discussed cheating and have established that if either of us ever cheats, it translates into "I don't want this relationship anymore and it's over." He needs to know that it is never going to be something that you will forgive. I think many people fail to let their partner know that if they cheat - they permanently say goodbye to you.

Tell him it's ok to be friends with girls, but you wouldn't like it if they hung out alone. If either one of them has a problem with that, they have other motives for being friends.