are parents ever disappointed by their children?

Question

I understand that society dictates that a parent should love their child no matter what but are there ever times when parents feel their kids are a dissapointment

Answer 1

Yes - of course

Answer 2

Parents are disappointed by their children all the time. We may always love them, but sometimes we don't like them, or we are upset with the choices they make. Doesn't mean they are "bad" kids, or that they are destined to be a "bad" person.
Sometimes the children they hang around with influence them, but we have to remember that all children have brains and the option to say yes or no in any given situation. Telling a child that you are disappointed with them is okay, as long as you tell them that it doesn't matter what they do, you will always always LOVE them. As parents, we have to look back on their lives and see if we gave them the good start that all children deserve. Did we teach them right from wrong? Did we teach them proper consequences for wrong behaviour? Did we instill good morals and good judgement? If you can answer yes to these questions, then you've done the best you could with what you had. Doesn't matter if you had money or not, illnesses or not, that is all irrelevant. Unconditional love is very important to kids and they should be told often that they have yours.
Their choices will be theirs and theirs alone, and they are the ones that have to live with themselves. Not you.
All I want for my children is for them to be happy with their choices in life, whether or not it's what I want for them. I would love nothing more than to have my kids be doctors or lawyers etc, but I can't do that. They have to decided that on their own, and as long as they're happy, what more can we ask?

Answer 3

I think it's inevitable occasionally, although it's usually when a child goes against what the parents have taught them to believe, or what the parents firmly believe to be right. For example, a child breaking out of a religious upbringing and becoming an atheist.

When the children are young, I think it's probably going to be on the occasions when the child misbehaves, especially if that causes the parent to feel embarrassed by their child. It would be common then to feel disappointment in your child and their actions.

However I think disappointment in your child as a person, who they are and want to be, is rare. After all, your child is part of you and a lot of what they are is down to how you've helped them to grow. So it really would be counterproductive to be disappointed in the way they've turned out.

A sensible parent takes everything in their stride and has to realise that their children are not minature versions of themselves, but people in their own right with their own feelings and choices. If they respect this then, even if disappointment rears its ugly head, they can soon find acceptance of the unique person they have created.

An interesting question though, thank you.

Answer 4

Are parents disappointed by their children? Yes, frequently.

Do we tell our kids that we are dissapointed in them? Sometimes, if it will make a difference in what our kid is doing. Not all the time; however because at times, it will not accomplish anything.

Does that mean that we don't love our kids? No. Although my kids frequently diappointment me, it does not mean that I love them less. Their behaviour or thier choices can break my heart and make me very angy but I still love them.

Just part of being a parent I guess.

Answer 5

I feel that I'm a constant disappointment to my parents, I make disappointing choices in boyfriends, jobs and friends - but I think this is just because they want so much for me! I think at the end of the day you are occasionally going to be disappointed by the ones you love the most.

Answer 6

Love and disappointment are 2 different things. Every parent has had the experience of disappointment. Some examples of why a parent might be disappointed are a bad grade, a bad decision, stealing, lying, being mean to others etc etc.

Answer 7

no i don't think a true parent could ever be disappointed by there child. they may not agree with some of there life choices but they will learn to find away to make it work. no matter what happens a parent should always love there child and be happy that they are who they are.

Answer 8

My children are never a disappointment...though their behavior may disappoint me. There have been times that my children have behaved contrary to what they have been taught, and that is when the BEHAVIOR disappoints me. It is important to make a distinction between unacceptable actions, and labeling a child. A child isnt BAD who may make poor choices. Just gotta continue guiding them in the way they should go! They always have my unconditional love...

Answer 9

Yes there is people out there I am one of them. When I had Jaymie who is now 4 months old. I really cared for her, a month later I felt like I despised her. I hated when she cried I used to put her through the house and let her cry, I did not want to be alone with her and I still feel the same about being alone with her. I have postnatal depression. If you feel like this I would advise seeing someone. They are very good and wont critise x

Answer 10

I am a mother of 3 and yes I feel disappointed with my children but I still love them with all my heart.

Answer 11

As they get older they sometimes do things that you wish they wouldn't. I always try to remember how I behaved as a child that usually stops me from being to hypercritical.

Sometimes I am disappointed for them rather than in them, when things happen which are hard for them to deal with(like bullying) Even though you have experience you always hope your children wont have to experience certain things, but life isn't like that.