I meet a man who thinks the world of me. And wants a realtionship. The problem is he is married. I know I should run like hell the other way. He tells me that he is looking into divorce. We have only gone to lunch and talked a lot on the phone and via email. He is 7 years older than me I am 44. My morals say to just be friends and thats it. I dont know if he would realy get a divorce or not. I dont want to get hurt. What would you do?
2007-02-05 06:21:00 · 25 answers · asked by Kimmy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if the man is married he is just looking for a fling do not think or get in your mind that he is so "in love" with you. It is infactuation in you and in him. It is really something new and different for him. You are younger than him and he is expecting to get and have a good time with a "young thang" like you.
Trust me I was in a relationship with a married man and it did not work out because he was not going to leave his wife because they had too much built up there. Do not mess with him unless he has already filed for divorce and you can see the paperwork to prove it.
Please follow your morals and values and demand respect from him. To respect you and his wife. Be his friend and if he does get out of his relationship/marriage then at least you would have been a friend to him. Be honest and let him know what you think and how you feel and the only thing that he can do is respect you and how you feel. I wish you all the best and keep me posted on the outcome. Thanks! Good Luck!
2007-02-05 06:28:55 · answer #1 · answered by Mye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do what you say you know you should do....run like hell the other way! Nothing will come of this if you allow this to go on. He's not going to divorce his wife. Think about this: If the shoe were on the other foot would you want some other woman to come along and ruin your marriage? You say you don't want to get hurt. What do you think your seeing this man would do to his wife and kids, if he has any? Don't think that it wouldn't get back to his wife because I can assure you it will if you continue to see him. Besides, if he's so ready to leave his wife for you what will happen when he meets some other " young thing"? Trust me, if he'd cheat on his wife he'd cheat on you too.
What kind of relationship do you think you could have with this man? You'd have slip and sneak around and pray that you don't run into anyone who knows either one of you. Holidays and weekends you'd spend alone because he'd be expected to be with his wife and family...where he belongs.
Why not put a period at the end of this impossible situation and find someone who is free to spend time and have an out in the open relationship with you? Why would you settle for scraps when you could have the whole banquet? Don't you think you're worth it and deserve it? Leave this man alone and find someone of your own. Good luck to you!
2007-02-05 14:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by Arleen J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would stay friends with him, but the question is, he says he is Looking into a divorce, meanwhile he is trying to see how far he can get with you, if you mind if he is married or not. Try thinking about his wife, how you would feel. Then think about , if he is so easy to cheat with you while married, what will happen when he gets bored with you? if you are really interested in him, and he is the same, i would back off some, don't make things so easy for him. let him get his divorce and then see what happens. lots of men, have to jump from one relationship to the next. never giving themselves time in between
2007-02-05 14:26:55 · answer #3 · answered by g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was in your shoes I would run the other way cause that man is married and every married man will tell you that they are about to leave the wife dont believe that lie and besides just think if that was your husband would want that person to keep talking to your man and mess things up in your home I think you should stop before it gets out of hand or dangerous
2007-02-05 14:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by Black Butterfly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow your gut on this one. "Thinking" of divorce and the act of divorce are two things. Ask yourself some important questions: Did he once think the world of his wife? Has he done this before? If you ask, will he tell you the truth? Don't get hurt by putting yourself in harm's way. Keep your distance. Wait for him to show you his mettle. Do not wait forever, live the life you want, and be happy with or without him.
2007-02-05 14:29:18 · answer #5 · answered by emberstoashes_04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he says he wants a relationship, tell him that he has one with his wife and until the divorce is final the only relationship you'll have with him is a platonic friendship. Stick to your morals and fight the temptation. You know it's wrong and there's no guarantee that he will get a divorce and he'll just try to keep you as the other woman.
2007-02-05 14:27:32 · answer #6 · answered by Just D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say to him "get a divorce, then we will talk", otherwise don't even go there. Don't email him, or go to lunch. He is thinking of having an affair. He's looking to have his cake and eat it too. The last thing you want to do is get involved with a married men, then you become the other woman...etc....and that isn't a good label if you know what I mean. Home wrecker isn't what you want to be. It sounds to good to be true......Men are "slick" you got to watch them.
2007-02-05 14:34:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, if he's married, then you know that you should run and stay away from him. He's commited to another woman right now. And you will get hurt if you both continue to see each other. I wouldn't believe him if he said he's looking into divorce, because if he lied to his wife and said that he's not seeing anyone else, imagine how many times he's lied to you. Think about it. You deserve so much more than that!!!!
2007-02-05 14:28:30 · answer #8 · answered by Chad's Baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be hesitant about even being a friend, as the attraction is there..... and you would be fighting with that more than you would be enjoying a friend's company...... if i were you my response would be "I have thought about us, and if circumstances were different, maybe we could have a good thing. But, you are married and therefore I will NOT play second fiddle. So when/if you get divorced - call me"
2007-02-05 14:25:58 · answer #9 · answered by Just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stay friends. Do you really need that drama? Go with your morals. You have nothing to lose with just staying friends. Is he divorcing because he cheated on his wife? If the answer is yes, then get your shoes and run.
2007-02-05 14:25:44 · answer #10 · answered by zumi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋