my father is a hoarder. he cant throw anything away. he even goes thro bins and takes stuff out and stores it in the garden. the house is stuffed full of piles of newspapers and other rubbish. the attic is so full of junk that i think it might collapse. the garden is a junk-yard. he has 5 cars that dont work. he can only just get into his bedroom and he cant get into his garage.
he wont talk about stuff and doesnt think that he has a problem.
he doesnt realise that it affects the whole family.
what can i can do to help him?
it affects my dad's family so much that his marriage is damaged because his wife isnt happy and his children cant visit him, he is not happy living like this, and he is affecting the live of the people close to him.
I am coming from a place of love, and i only want to help HIM be happy. I am not being selfish here. I'm sure there are deep rooted reasons for his behaviour, but i'd like to help him through his fears or whatever it is that drives him
2007-02-05 06:05:58 · 7 answers · asked by Zag 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Zag, you can't really help a hoarder stop hoarding unless he wants you to come over and clean up, which I doubt he does. Even then, you and your family could clean that mess up and he would start another collection.
The best thing a hoader's family or friends can do is to make sure he enjoys himself a little outside the house, that he keeps doctor's appointments and such, and they visit him every once and a while. One other thing: NEVER, I repeat NEVER give a hoarder any gift that would add to his collection -- in other words, give him gifts that need to be consummed in a short period of time like candy, etc.
If he really wants help he will get it himself or ask you to help him get it -- from a counselor or other mental health professional.
Good luck.
2007-02-05 06:12:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Zag,
There is a real mental condition causing this. You need to get professional help for you family. He is not just a hoarder.
I learned this first hand, I had hypnotherapy to release some pain that I had buried deep inside. WHOA- like a tornado- I am still going through and throwing out stuff. Its a life long problem, like diabetes or AA.
Its causes panic attacks and everything. Be gentle, the "Stuff" is a personal security "wall" for him. Letting those shields down will be hard, so start small. One room at a time it can take days or months, be patient.
So please consult a professional therapist in your area.
Best wishes
2007-02-05 06:16:12 · answer #2 · answered by Denise W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the book "It's All Too Much" by Peter Walsh. Read it, then pass it to your father. This pattern of behavior took a long time to develop and will take time to reverse. Take tiny steps and celebrate each one.
2007-02-05 06:13:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is hope. he has a son who obviously cares about him and his family. He needs professional help. maybe you and his wife and children, can stage and intervention. If everybody talks to him and tells them how much they care, but recognize that he needs help..ask him to please consider professional counseling with a board certified psycologist or psychiatrist. Good luck.
I hope things work out for the best.
2007-02-05 06:11:05 · answer #4 · answered by lazytracy2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can start helping him by..helping him go through the stuff and helping him decide what is needed and what can be thrown away. Tell him how others feel.
2007-02-05 06:09:47 · answer #5 · answered by whatelsewhatever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know but I bet it is hard to pick out a Christmas or B-Day gift for him since he has ten of everything!
2007-02-05 06:08:52 · answer #6 · answered by biggimpin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there was an article about this in aarp magazine last month...it was good...try to find it, it really has great tips
2007-02-05 06:13:22 · answer #7 · answered by saveit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋