Is there a rule, written or otherwise, that requires a groom's sister to be included as a bride's maid? My sister, who was five months pregnant at the time of our wedding, says it was a "tremendous breech of wedding etiquette" that she was not asked to be a bride's maid.
Thanks
2007-02-05 05:37:28 · 23 answers · asked by drew_9825 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Seeing as she can't spell 'Breach', I fail to see how her opinion even matters...
2007-02-05 05:41:05 · answer #1 · answered by Yosh 3 · 1⤊ 5⤋
I think of it this way: having a dollar dance at a wedding, a wishing well, a money tree or whatever is participating in a tradition. Various cultures celebrate marriages in this way, and for many people it's part of the fun and certainly saves the trouble of a trip to Macys. Including in your invitation a request for cash or gifts is an issue of etiquette because you're implying, whether you mean to or not, that giving gifts (the gifts you prefer, obviously) is required of guests. This distinction may seem a little silly because so many people wouldn't dream of showing up for a wedding without a gift. But the gift is a way of celebrating, not a requirement. The invitation is meant as a honor to the recipient, a way of saying "I care enough about you to want you at my wedding." Diminishing that message with a cash grab is impolite. In the end, I think etiquette is mostly about demonstrating respect for people more than following some ridiculous list. Chewing with your mouth closed is polite because looking at half chewed food is disgusting, not because Miss Manners says it's polite. It's a way of respecting your dining companions. In short, traditions can be done in ways that are keeping with etiquette and in ways that aren't. Let's take something not at all about money: the whole garter toss. If the groom removes the garter, lines up his single friends, and tosses it over his shoulder, that's quite fine. On the other hand, the groom could stick his head up the bride's dress and root around while the groomsmen make a ruckus. Granny is embarrassed and the minister is blushing. The father of the bride wants to kick the groom in the pants. It's still "traditional," but the groom isn't demonstrating respect for his guests. So. I say both considerations are equal and in no way exclusive.
2016-03-29 06:08:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but it is a breach of etiquette to correct the manners of any one who isn't a child.
How could that possibly be a rule? If the groom has a dozen sisters, would they all have to be brides maids? Does this rule apply to the brides own sisters or is it just to get the grooms family involved? What about step sisters? I've read that they make great maids (Cinderella) but you have to be careful they don't steal the prince.
A bride chooses her attendants based on the relationship she has established with them not their biology, or their physical condition.
The purpose of etiquette is to make others comfortable. Grousing about not getting something and creating rules to justify your tirade is a "tremendous breach of wedding or any other rule of etiquette."
2007-02-05 12:47:59 · answer #3 · answered by Lady E 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say its rule, but every wedding I have been to has had the groom's sister as a bride's maid. But it all depends if the sister and the bride's maid get on. But if the grrom's sister is complaining, i would say that, in fact she is now in breech of etiquette! Being asked to be a bride's maid should be seen as an honour! She should not just assume that she will be!
2007-02-05 05:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
She's making it sound like you or your husband made a promise to her to be in the wedding (just looking up the word.) But even if there was a wedding etiquette rule, unless you made a promise to her specifically which it doesn't sound like you did. Then you have nothing to feel guilty about. Because each family was raised differently in how there wedding etiquette should be.
You can just tell her that you and your husband already had your bride's maid's picked out before you got to know her.
I think that she is just tired from lack of sleep from dealing with the baby and poor sportman ship.
The word breech sounds like a Pregnant terminology and nothing to do with the wedding. It was your wedding and you and your husband's choice. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
2007-02-05 08:58:31 · answer #5 · answered by jrealitytv 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no rule for this. It is the BRIDE'S DAY not the sister's day or the mother's day or even the best friend's day. I think that it is a breech of etiquette for anyone to pressure the bride otherwise!
2007-02-05 07:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by beckini 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
None. It is your wedding.
Plus some duties of a bride's maid is to fix the bride's skirt, veil; hold the bride's purse, attend to the bride's needs, much like a personal assistant. If the bride's maid is pregnant (no offense), it will be a big physical demand on her, it may even prevent her (sister) from enjoying herself.
If she really cares about you, she will understand.
2007-02-05 05:41:41 · answer #7 · answered by tranquil 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No there are no rules about who should be brides maids. She was probably just hurt that no one asked her. Maybe you could have done something special for her or given her a special task then she would have been more involved in the wedding
2007-02-05 08:28:42 · answer #8 · answered by crystall312 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The bride decides who she wants as her bridesmaids. These are usually close friends as well as family. No where in the wedding ettiquette guidelines does it say the groom's side of the family has any say in the bride's selection at all. I find that to be rather absurd, to tell the truth. Your sister needs to get over herself.
2007-02-05 05:42:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
It is the tradition for the sister to be the bridesmaid however a lot of times not followed. It is very hurtful though to the sister not asked, and usually will cause bad feeling for sometime to come. It is the right thing to do to ask, however it is the brides day and she should have it the way she wants it. What diff does it make that she's pg anyway that sounds like an excuse.
2007-02-05 05:42:29 · answer #10 · answered by KitKat 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No, it's the bride's choice of who she wants in the wedding. Normally, it's the bride's sisters (if the bride wants her) and the bride's close friends. The groom also picks from his friends and his relatives as he wishes, for his groomsmen.
A good article about this is linked below.
2007-02-05 05:41:24 · answer #11 · answered by Faith 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋