I have been with my bf for a year and a half now. And in the past few months we have some rocky times, but before then we never fought. So I think, it’s been a shock to his system that we are suddenly fighting. His granddad also passed away within the past few months and we moved in together.
He is nine years younger than me, which doesn’t bother either of us. I have never pressured him into committing to me, or even asked him about if we have a future together. He use to tell me he saw me in his future, getting married and so on. But I also know he is young. And I know how I was at his age. I don’t expect him to be ready for things I am, and I am willing to wait until he is ready, as long as it’s something he thinks he WANTS at least. Does that make sense?
But lately it’s become an issue with him; he says he isn’t sure we have a future together. And that’s due to the fighting. It’s almost like he thinks a relationship should have no fighting, but that’s just so unrealistic.
2007-02-05 04:55:01 · 6 answers · asked by nkbapbt 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has stopped trying, yet when we go to break up, he never wants to go. He wants to stay and work it out.
I have said I don’t care if he doesn’t know if we have a future, all I care is that he wants to have one with me. I really truly believe once we get past the fighting, he will come back around.
Does it really matter if he can’t see a future right now? Or should he know?
And how do I get him to not feel guilty leaving me at home on the nights he wants to go out with the boys? He says that he feels bad leaving me at home, but I don’t care. This is strictly a thing he has. How can I help him see its ok to go out with out me sometimes?
Also how can I get him to pay a little more attention to me when we do go out together? Not glued to my side, but not ignoring me either.
I know for a fact these are just age issues. He has only had one other gf. He really doesn’t know any better. But Im willing to experience it with him and teach him! =)
2007-02-05 04:55:13 · update #1
it seems to me hes confused and loosing a love one does not help either, just be there for him and tell him you care and support him on anything he decides. if it was meant to be it will work out. and all relationship has fighting in them. there is not one relationship that don't. good luck.
2007-02-05 05:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nine years age difference=can be some big problems
but you've been at it for a year and doing fine,
fights dont brek up a relationship unless there was nothing in the relationship to begin with
try as hard as you can to work it out, and know that when you fight you both learn something that you SHOULDN'T do.
and like you said, he's still growing and you're willing to wait, so do so
<3 GL
2007-02-05 05:01:25 · answer #2 · answered by Jess and Doyin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With what I have read it seems like he is now realizing the difference of the age and how it does affect both of you! I believe it won't be long till this relationship ends, just seems that it was more a phase HE was going through then a relationship! seems like he needs more growing up to do! why are you and him wasting eachothers time! it sounds like it more like you guys are just "use" to eachother, but how it sounds I don't think there is a future! Good Luck
2007-02-05 05:07:29 · answer #3 · answered by ♥AMO♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me if sounds like he is confused. He doesn't really know what he wants. Or he wants the both worlds and he knows he can't have it, so he is in consistant confusion between what he feels he should do and what he wants to do.
It also sounds like he doesn't really want to be together anymore, but doesn't want to come right out and say it because he doesn't have the courage.
Break it off with him. It maybe better for both of you in the long run.
2007-02-05 05:05:11 · answer #4 · answered by TammyAP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that maybe you should live apart. Try to see how that goes. So maybe he wouldnt feel bad about going out. Then also he might pay more attention to u cause ur not living together. Or maybe when he goes out u could leave and do something too seperate from him.
2007-02-05 05:02:07 · answer #5 · answered by Shawn W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 years...sooo HOW OLD ARE U? AND HOW OLD IS HE? becuhz there would be a very HUGE issue if he was like 21 and ur like 30..becuhz during that age..all everyone wants to do is HAVE FUN...think about it...is he really wat u want for ur future..its not like he's the only guy u can find in this world right? especially someone really young in age.. and does he really want u in his future...he's young..younger than u..and honestly your just prolly wat he wants now...but he's really not sure wat he
wants...think about..its really all in fun and someone will get hurt eventually....
just lookin out....
2007-02-05 05:09:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋