I'm 21 years old and right now I have a boyfriend (Bob) who is 33 years old (we've only been together 5 months) that I care about alot he treats me good and keeps me happy, and I have someone (Vic) who is 22 years old (who've I've known for 8 years) in & out of my life, and the reason hes in and out of my life is becuase i cant let him go, but we never been bf/gf.. He treats me good and he's a family friend... But I'm starting to have a change of heart and lean more towerds Vic... Vic has been a big part of my life someone who i can really just let go and be my wild self and hes right there with me being him self and making me laugh till my face hurts, but I just dont like how he is when hes drunk not all the time just when were at a bar or at the club... And my b/f Bob I can do the same just be myself and not worry about what he's going to think but i just cant see me self being with him for the long run, but i can be wrong... I just dont know what to do?
2007-02-05 04:31:17 · 8 answers · asked by ♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are young and somewhat inexperienced so let me speak to you from an older person's perspective and I hope I am not being harsh for that is not my intention at all. It looks like if you really wanted to be with Vic, you have had 8 years to come to this decision and you are not with him. I think Bob's age is scaring you and you should look deep inside to determine if his age really matters if he truly loves you and you him and treats you with respect.
I can certainly understand your fear, however, do not let age be the deciding factor. Also it could be that you are looking to far ahead as well. Like I said you are young and you might be thinking that you'd be tying yourself down. You need to move away from thinking like that and look at your relationship with Bob and try to see its true worth and make the best of it right in this moment. You are looking too far ahead. Live in the present - not in the past nor the future but the P-R-E-S-E-N-T. Remember that the present will be your past as soon as another new day arrives and that the present will determine your future. So if you are to have a good relationship with Bob in the future you need to make it good right here in the present. Give your relationship with Bob a fair and fighting chance. If it doesn't work out, don't let it be because you were half committed.
Hope this helps and good luck!
2007-02-05 04:40:14 · answer #1 · answered by Slim Shady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to Vic and find out how he's feeling. No point in ending the relationship with your boyfriend if he doesn't have any feelings towards you. I have a similar friend. We've been friends for years, and it's been off and on and I know that anything more than friends would NEVER work. Even though I love him to death and would love it if it could work. If Vic wants more and so do you, you need to tell Bob that you need some time to figure things out. If he really loves you, he'll give you that time..but he won't be happy about it I'm sure! Good luck!
2007-02-05 12:37:31 · answer #2 · answered by skybelle24 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything. You're young...I would not tie myself down at your age...just enjoy being with either or both...do you really need to make a decision? Would it not be prudent for you to just enjoy all the attention? I don't think you are "in-love" with either guy...wait until you meet someone (and yes, keep your eyes "open" to other relationships) who you can be sure of 100%...never settle for anything less....I promise you, you will "know" when you meet the "right one"....in the meantime, have fun...you'll be glad you did when you look back at this time in your life...
2007-02-05 12:39:57 · answer #3 · answered by Toots 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bob sounds like he's nice to you, but not exciting. The person you want to settle down with should be exciting to you. Otherwise, it's going to be a VERY boring life! Just tell him it's not working out and that you'd like to see other people. Then don't accept his phone calls. It's not right to string him along afterwards as a "just in case" plan.
2007-02-05 12:35:59 · answer #4 · answered by Honesty given here! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a reason you haven't been with Vic up to this point in life!! Why ruin a sure and good thing for someone who is so up in the air?!
2007-02-05 12:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by carrie n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you want to marry huh? so, this option is your very deep crucial thing. just marry is not same with just love, you know. is a complicated thing. you have to choose someone who will threat you best. not only someone who loves you best. i know it's hard. but let your mind talk to your heart.
I'm sure, the best answer comes from your deep inside.
2007-02-05 12:41:47 · answer #6 · answered by rest of rich 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Another hit from the "When I was a child, I spoke as a child" files.
Guess it serves the 33 year-old right for dating a baby.
2007-02-05 12:35:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
you need to ask yourself who you would be happier NOW and LATER im sure youll make the right choice
2007-02-05 12:35:04 · answer #8 · answered by The J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋