to tell or not to tell?

Question

Hubby and I are both believe in physical dicipiline.. I mean we first talk and do all other dicipline but in the end if nothing else works we have what we call belt situation... either hubby took off his or I borrow his belt to make things clear... son has been bullying, breaking glass, hitting other children, ...and lots of bad thing... we talked to teacher, with talked with him, we talked to counseller... nothing work, right now hubby is on bussiness trip and mother of one of my son's friend called and said he again beat his son, and was a bully... last time hubby told him if he do that again he will dicipline him with his belt infront of everyone and he was dead serious,...so should I tell him whats had happen cause if I do he'll definatly do but if I don't ...

Answer 1

Corporal punishment is absolutely acceptable and necessary.
The key is that it must be done in love and fairness. When a spanking is due... let the child know that it is coming and the reason. Then take sometime before administering it to calm down. Spanking our of anger is not very affective. Do not use your hand.

Answer 2

Okay, i'm not really sure if you have or have not been hitting your son with the belt or not.

If you haven't been using the belt yet:

1. You need to give your child spankings. God did this in the bible and it is needed to be given to children when they misbehave sometimes. Spankings will get your kid in line very fast. some children need this more than others. When you give them spankings they realize you are serious and when they feel pain they arent going to want to misbehave again.

If you have been using the belt:

1. I would continue to take him to a councelor or sit down and talk with him and ask him why he bullies other kids. If you try hard enough you will get to the bottom of it.
2. He may need more attention. He may think he isnt getting enough attention from you or his dad and so he bullies other kids and misbehaves to get some kind of attention from you guys. Try to spend more time with him, praise him and tell him you love him when he does good things, like makes a good grade, draws a picture ect. He may just want to know that he is loved by you guys.
3.Try a new disciplianry action. This is what nanny 911 does:
Tell your son that if he misbehaves he will be given a warning and if he does it again he will be put in a naughty place, like a corner or mat or chair. Not His Room. When you put him in the naughty place tell him why he is there. After he has been in his naughty place ask him to apologize and let him go. If he doesnt apologize he is to stay seated in the naughty place untill he wants to apologize. Also for every year of age he is to sit in the naughty place for one minute. so if he is 5 he has to be there for 5 minutes.
If you son decides to leave his naughty place then pick him up and place him back to the place. Only the first time tell him to sti back down until his time is up. If he gets up again then keep putting him back repeatedly without talking to him. Even if it takes 5 hours keep placing him back to the place and he will lose the battle just be persistant.

I hope your son gets better and dont give up. Good luck! Bye!

Answer 3

First of all, HOW OLD is your child?? If he's older than 5 or 6, I'd say stop with the physical punishment.

Second of all, abuse to me is using a closed fist, an object to hit a child or any other inflictions that causes marks, bruising, etc. If you feel that it's okay to hit a child with any of these methods, get counseling for yourselves fast.

If a child needs a physical reprimand, I can understand a whack on the butt once or twice or a slap on the back of the hand with an open hand. I rather get my hand slapped if I was going to touch the stove than have it burn me.

Your whole family seems to be in need of counseling. Especially if your son is now acting out and being a bully to other children. Your child is acting out, because he thinks it's appropriate to beat people up and abuse them. He is mimicking what he sees and feels it must be okay.

Answer 4

THERE IS NO NEED TO USE "VIOLENCE OR ABUSE" TO ANYONE LET ALONE YOUR CHILD*~! Yes, your son has some issues of anger at the moment..and bullying/beating up other kids...Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why?? Do you not think your husband and you...giving him the "Belt" is teaching him how to cope when he's angry?? By physically hurting someone else because he (YOUR SON) is hurting inside from what you and your husband are doing.
Counselling helps but the child has to want the help. Taking his games away or tv time away ...or not being allowed to go out for a bit....are better ways to discipline your child. VIOLENCE ISNT THE ANSWER* THAT IS ABUSE AND YOU CAN GO TO JAIL FOR THAT* How can you SLEEP at night knowing you or your husband whiplashed your child because he's not listening to you. WOW* YOU BOTH NEED HELP and that CHILD NEEDS TO FEEL LOVED AND WANTED .........NOT ABUSE and VIOLENCE*
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Answer 5

The problem is not to tel or not to tell your husband. The problem is you chose the wrong way to discipline your kid. I think he has problems and you're not addressing them right.

Beating a son with a belt is mosntruous and, in front of other children is simply degrading. Sorry, but real parents don't do such things

Answer 6

Tell your other half.
if you don't you undermine each others authority. what will the kid see? you've backed down. if you say it ...do it.
how old is the boy?
Have you tried removing things that he likes?
eg if you beat 'X' I will take away your playstation. type of thing?
If that don't phase him give the kid he beats up the playststion.
Do you give him enough to do? Activities to fill his time, give him interests? get him to help you more with cooking and get him to join in. Make a fuss of him but in a useful way, don't pamper but involve him in stuff keep him busy.

Answer 7

Well i am a kid as a matter of fact. but if i was in your predicament i would tell him but tell him to keep it in house because you know if it happens in public you might get into trouble. i us to get into trouble myself and look at me now i am in a facility because i have been in jail too many times so if they do press charges and he goes away ever email me at [e-mail] the program really works.

Answer 8

I know why hes bullying on other kids like that because you are doing that to him so he thinks thats the oly way to get rid of a problem think of a new way to discipline .

Answer 9

It's odd that your son is choosing the methods you use
(hitting people) to solve his problems just like you do.
In the long run i think you only teach him that hitting is a good
way to control people.

Answer 10

The kid's problem is that he doesn't respect ANYTHING. Put him in martial arts and be done with it.