my bf and i have talked alot about having sex and the other night we were going to but i chickened out at the last minute and told him i wasnt ready but he kept going. he was like unbuttoning my pants and everything and i finally got him off and told him to go home and its been like a week since,and i havent talked to him and i dont know what to do
2007-02-05 04:01:09 · 55 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
YOU ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM
2007-02-05 04:03:40 · answer #1 · answered by boobird 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
WHAT PLANET ARE SOME OF YOU PEOPLE FROM ?!?!?!?!
Let's review what's happened..... 1) you've been talking to your b/f about having sex 2) you led him to believe that you were going to have sex 3) you started to begin getting ready for sex and THEN changed your mind. And now everything is HIS fault.... It's appearant that while YOU haven't been around other guys, he HAS been with other girls. Women are NOTORIOUS for saying one thing and then meaning another ! OR, changing their mind about a situation AFTER it's happened. Sex is GREAT, BUT...it for adults who are grown enough to handle the situation. Obviously you aren't ready for sex (and that is fine) But DON'T talk/act like you are, get started and THEN change your mind. You're quite lucky that he WAS enough of a gentleman to stop (whether he was pi$$ed or not) You COULD have wound up in a VERY bad situation had it been someone who WOULDN'T have stopped.
As for not talking to him for the last week, that's probably not such a bad thing. I'm sure that he's probably very upset (and contrary to some of the opinons stated) and has some right to be. He probably also sees how things COULD have ended up and sees that it is probably best to stay away.
Good luck in the future.
Remember that having sex is a responsibilty and NOT something to go into lightly or because someone is pressuring you. Likewise- it's not right to be a 'tease' either (whether intentional or not........)
2007-02-05 15:48:28 · answer #2 · answered by barhopper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh honey... I have to say that I am sorry that you went through that... I would say that you should think about how much he really respects you if he wouldnt stop... what he really sees you as... it seems as if he wants just one thing at this point and is that what you really want in your relationship? I have been where you are and I tell you that I am so glad that I walked away from that pretty dangerous relationship... so just take some time and think about what your heart is telling you about this guy and wether it would be wise to stay with someone that doesnt know the words "stop I am not ready for this" he is a creep and you deserve so much better... there is someone out there that will love and respect you as a person and as the beautiful person that you are... wait for him... :)
Happy Monday!
2007-02-05 04:15:10 · answer #3 · answered by Sidney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully if you don't want to have sex, you don't want to have sex. You should've told him it was a question of being nervous or unsure but you should NEVER engage in it if you're so uncertain. Never do something to appease someone else. I'm sure you want to make your boyfriend happy but you shouldn't feel forced to do something as intimate as sex. It's a two fold thing if the situation was that you had told him you weren't ready and he went on doing it anyway --- I'd be more prone to looking at is as rape but you ok'd it. Don't ok if you're not ready. If not this guy, another guy that comes along.
2007-02-05 04:06:24 · answer #4 · answered by Jessie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he really scincerrly loves you then he will respect your dicesion. Also you have to think about f you really love him. Because if un don't and he turns out to be no good then u will be really hurt in the end. And scince this is your first time then u have to know that every time u do the do u leave a part of yourself with that person. Im not trying to scare u or anything but its just somethin my mom taught me. And if u ever need to talk im here.
:)
2007-02-05 04:11:39 · answer #5 · answered by Perfection 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have EVERY right to say stop at ANY time and he should have stopped and not tried to force you. You were not wrong and he was. I can only hope that he has not spoken to you because he was embarrassed by his actions but this is probably not the case. I would suggest you call him and talk about what happened and tell him how you feel. If you are not ready for sex, then DON'T do it. it is not worth just giving in and if he truly cared about you, he would not force you. Also, if you can't discuss what happened with him, then you are not ready for sex, in my opinion. Good luck!!
2007-02-05 04:07:48 · answer #6 · answered by justme 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you should still be with him you should concider all of the things that can change after sex. He could still understand if he wants, but what you have to do is explain to him is why you didn't want to, and don't make it up. I also belive that you shouldn't have sex until you're married. But just tell him and he is the man for you he'll accept that and not push you, But no matter what be true to yourself and if he isn't the one just know there are other fish in the sea.
2007-02-05 04:08:26 · answer #7 · answered by deadcatgirl14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he cares about you an i say care not love because you guys sound young then he wouldnt be ignoring you however you felt unready an he should try an understand but he probably got aroused and pissed that the sex didnt go through you guys need to make up and he needs to wait if he cares. and make sure you have protection if you feel read y how about oral then you wont have to take your pants off/
2007-02-05 04:08:55 · answer #8 · answered by tom c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he was a little rough, but you shouldn't have led him on getting him all hot and then making him stop just like that. once guys start its very hard for them to cool down, get my meaning. just be glad he did stop. give him some time for him and for yourself, and if you feel ready to talk about it maybe you should give him a call and sort it out. or talk with someone else if it was really concerning to you. talking helps.
2007-02-05 04:08:06 · answer #9 · answered by metalchik 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't owe him an explanation. If he really cares about you, then he should be more understanding if you are not ready. Don't make this all about him, its about you what you want too. Don't be pressured into doing anything you are not comfortable with just to make him happy. If he can't respect you, then dump him and move on. There are plenty of nice guys out there.
2007-02-05 04:08:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Even though, as men, we sometimes get the wrong impression from the mixed signals you ladies send us, that we take advantage of the situation. Nevertheless, no means no, and there is no justification for continuing after those words have been uttered. However we all deserve a second chance! If it happens again, get as far away from him as possible for it will happen time and time again!
2007-02-05 04:06:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋