When is it time for you to lower your standards in a mate?

Question

Im in my mid twentys and it seems that maybe my standards are too high and i might need to settle. Is it too early for me to think that way? Should I think this way at a certain age like 30s or 40s?

Answer 1

NEVER settle. If you do, you'll never be happy.

Answer 2

Depends on how high you're shooting. It's kind of like a joke i heard where when you're a teen you have this idea of your future husband he's rich, handsome, funny and good with kids.

Then in your 20's you want a man who's handsome, funny, pretty good with kids and has a job.

In your 30's you want a man who's not ugly, wants kids and is at least employed most of the year.

In your 40's you just want a man.

Most girls marry in their late 20's and have found their future husband in their mid 20's if you haven't married by your 30's then you WILL have to settle.

Your choice of a mate should be someone who is a provider both financially and emotionally, honorable and compassionate. best place to look is in a church, religion based singles groups or with professional quality dating services. You won't find anyone worth your time in a singles bar or club also if your lady friends know of a guy give him a shot. My old roomie introduced me to one of her friends who i wound up marrying.

Answer 3

You should never lower your standards- but re-evaluate them every now and then. Question if they are unreasonable...like do you have a "laundry list" of qualities that a man must possess. Because truthfully everyone has faults- and nobody is perfect. So if you are looking for a prince in shinning armor- the truth is he might never appear if you have built him into this fantasy perfect guy. But if you start looking for more of a "guy next door" then maybe it won't be a fantasy, but a reality.

Never lower your standards-just re-evaluate what you are really looking for in a mate, which should be attraction, personality, a good person, sense of humor, fun, and someone who shares similar interests to you.

Good luck on your quest to find Mr Right!

Answer 4

You should only lower your standards if they are unreasonable. When I was a teenager a woman I respected advised that I sit down and make a list of the qualities I wanted in a husband and the father of my children. I listed everything that I could think of. Then I prioritzed them. I put all of the non-negotiable things at the top down to the least important things.

For example, I knew that I wanted to marry someone who shares my faith and my perspective on church and ministry. I knew I wanted to marry someone that would get along with my family because I knew I would want to stay connected to my family. I knew that I wanted a man who treats women in his life with respect. I knew that I wanted a man who is a hard worker, but doesn't neglect having fun. These things were non-negotiable to me.

When I dated men, I compared them to my list and evaluated whether I was willing to give something up. Once I really liked a man, but he clearly did not hit it off with my parents. I didn't go out with him again because I knew that is not what I wanted for my future. My husband is not as tall as I imagined and didn't have the career that I had pictured. These things were not that important, and I was willing to let them go. We've been married for 21 years.

On the other hand . . . I know many women who "settled." Who you marry is soooooo important to the experiences you will have, the things you will try, the places you will go, jobs you will take--the woman you will be in your later years. It's better to remain single than hook up with a poor choice.

Answer 5

There isn't an age related answer. If you just can't get a date with someone that meets your standards, it's time to compromise one or more of those standards. Don't think of it as settling. Believe me, there are some great guys who might not be the perfect package. Give one of them a chance and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Answer 6

It's normal for you to be questioning since you are in your mid-20s and are still searching, but, no, you shouldn't settle. You WILL meet a man with whom you will click, and don't despair that it hasn't happened yet. I hate to sound like a cliched song, but you'll know when your love comes along. He may not be the man you have dreamed about, but love changes everything. Be open and friendly to everyone, as you may meet your future mate in unlikely circumstances. To re-emphasize, no, don't settle. Be patient, be hopeful---he's out there!

Answer 7

Well that depends on what your standards are.
If your looking for someone attractive, who loves you and treats you right then you should never give up. But if your standards are for someone who looks like a model, earns $200,000 year and buys you everything you want then it may be time to lower those standards and settle for someone who loves you and visa versa.

Answer 8

It's not about standards, it's about who you get on with, don't judge people until you meet them, you should want to be with someone you like spending time with and you should never settle for anything less

Answer 9

I don't think its a question of settling, but of whether or not your expectations are realistic or are too high.

And the only way to know whether your expectations are too high or not is to put them into the context of what, exactly, you have to offer a guy. Are you demanding a lot more than you're willing to give in return?

Answer 10

Is it settling or getting REAL. Because you should never settle, but you may need to get real about your expectation out of another human being.

Answer 11

You should never lower your standards and never just settle. That's a sure fire way to end up in divorce court.