I feel like I am breaking down... I need to get through this day...HELP PLEASE!?

Question

I find that everything happens in threes, I am going through something very similar... Dated a guy for one year, I broke up with him, for all the right reasons, he was heart broken. I realized that I wanted him back went over and we ended up sleeping together.... saying I love you...it was sweet. But then I find out that he has a new girlfriend that he was dating at the time. And he has a choice to make. I am in shock that there is a choice at all. It hurts SO bad. I mean when I heard that there was a chance that I was not going to be with him. . . My whole body started shaking, I think I had a panic attack. I still break down in tears for no reason. Because of the pain. My heart litterally hurts. He said that he chose her because she is a teacher. And even though he does not love her.... that he has more faith in them than in us. Which I cannot for the life of me understand?!? We went through alot together. Strains and stresses.... and we made it through it all. I broke up with him because he needed some time to get counseling. THEN on top of this... My car gets run into last night. AND.... I have been drinking away the pain for 3 days straight and am at work right now...... HUNG OVER with NO SLEEP.

I am so depressed... I feel like everything that could have gone wrong has....What do I do?

Should I win him back? If so ... How?

How do I make all of the stress go away so I can concentrate on work.... so I dont get fired?

Answer 1

Girl you've had it bad alright.. heres my 2 cents..

1st.. The drinking isn't going to help you feel better for yourself
2cd.. Your happiness in life shouldn't revolve around another person.. If you can't be happy single you'll never be happy in a relationship. You have to be happy with your life before you can bring anyone else into it.
3rd.. The car is just a material object.. if it wasn't your fault that it got hit then theres no reason to worry about it.. You had no control over what happened.
4th.. You have to be positive and optimistic. Remember that there is always someone else out there that has it worse than you. That thought helps you appreciate your position in this world a lot more.

Answer 2

1) Stay away from the alcohol, it is a depressant
2) You made the choice, deal with it.... learn from this. You must think about the future when making huge decisions like this one.... breaking someones heart should NEVER be a spur of the moment thing, especially after this much time has been invested.
3) You hurt him very bad, he may never be able to get that love or trust back for you.
4) Look at your life, what do you do for a living? Did you go to school? Do you have a good job? get your life straight. Focus on your future and your goals and it will take your mind off everything else... and put you in a better position.

Find out who you truly are and what you truly want, the right guys will come to you once you have this figured out....

Answer 3

I understand the way you feel right now. I am dealing with about the same situation. If you love him try to get him back. If not don't. It's a hard place to be in. The drinking may seem to help but it only puts things on the back burner for a while. When you sober up it seems to hurt all the worse.I know I have been going though it for the past 4 months. Everything happens for a reason. sometime the reasons don't make much sence and probbaly never will. my best advise to you is try to move on as hard as it seems.but if thats not what you want to do persue him every way you know how and try to win him back.

Answer 4

My heart goes out to you! I am in pain too due to a current break up with my boyfriend so I know how you feel, the pain is horrible. You said you broke up with your boyfriend for good reason and he was supposed to get counselling. I know how much it hurts to know that instead of him working on getting you back he instead got another girlfriend. And then on top of all that he slept with you by deceiving you into thinking their was a chance of you two getting back together. He might secretly be punishing you for breaking up with him. My advice to you would be to let him go You will be heart broken for sure, but what other choices would you have? At least by doing this you will maintain your dignity. As I said, I am hurting too, sometimes it feels as if I cannot stand it anymore. But I know, men could only really love you if they respect you. You will see, in time he will think of you, he will regain the admiration and respect he had for you, trust me on this one, I know it will be a long a painful road for you right now. Good luck to you and take care of yourself. .

Answer 5

Oh, you sound like me a few years ago. The only thing that helped me was time. Don't sit around at home thinking about it. Go out with your friends, keep busy, don't dwell. You made a decision, and now you're regretting it. Life is about learning to deal with your decisions and living with the consequences. All the pain will make you stronger and wiser in the end. I know that sounds lame, but I can only tell you from experience.

Answer 6

You might not be able to win him back no matter what you do. And realistically, if this is the way he treats you, you're probably better off in the long run without him. I know that's hard to believe right now, but it's true.

I lost my sister a few years back over something similar. I wish I was given a chance to tell her that she would eventually be ok. I ask that you believe me when I tell you.

Time does heal all wounds. Turn to some friends for help. If you have no one to talk to, email me and I'll do what I can (I'm married, but i'm a good listener/emailer).

Good luck and believe me when I say you will get through this.

Answer 7

Oh Girl!First you are important dont ruin your job over anyone.I know it hurts terribly.2 years ago I went through a breakup with the only man I ever loved and I was so nervous and couldnt stop crying I never went back to my job and have not worked since,BIG MISTAKE!! Time will tell if this man loves you he will choose you. You can try to win him over but dont put all your eggs in one basket just in case it doesnt work then you will most certainly be crushed.Let him know you love him and love is the most important thing if he claims not to love this girl he is doing her an injustice by staying with her.Time will work this all out just try to gather yourself.Try to explain to him why you left to begin with.He is afraid you will break up with him again is what it seems the problem is.So if he has changed you have to earn his trust back again.Take care of yourself nothing is worth your health or nervous system.Trust me on this one been there and I allowed this man to destroy me and my health and I am still lamenting over that relationship everyday to this day I have been to counseling for over a year and I will be damned nothing helps.He was not worth what I did to myself and believe me he is perfectly happy while I have never moved past it,I wish I could just be hypnotized to forget that relationship ever happened.Sounds like you are young and have some things going for you please please dont ruin your own life.You are worth everything think of yourself first love yourself and stay away from the alcohol when you know you have to work.Dont risk your job cause that may be the one thing that can keep your mind off of this.Dont give up your own life,in the end you need to be there for YOU!! Go home take some nice deep breathes,take a bath,treat yourself to something you love whether its chocolate or go to your favorite store and just buy one thing for yourself that will make you happy even if its for the moment.In this world most people care only about themselves you need to do the same,cause in the end the only one you can trust and will have is yourself.

Answer 8

Normally I joke on these boards, but you sound like you have a serious problem there and this is not the place to find solace. Book an appointment with your doctor and talk it over with him/her. I'm sure they will be very understanding and if they can't help you, then you will be referred to a counsellor.

If the thought of this is too much and you really can't bear talking to someone face to face, you can always call the Samaritans. They are people who help those in distress and all you need do is call them. They are not paid and so do it out of the goodness of their hearts. They are listed in every phone book and are online too.

I hope you feel better soon.

Best wishes.

Answer 9

you need to focus for a minute and realize that you are better than the situation you are in.... the mind is a strong tool, and you need to know that you are strong and move on from this... Alcohol is not the answer to this problem and it will make it worse so please don't get drunk .... but realize that this is heart break, and time heals all wounds. I know my advice sounds like crap right now, but trust me in the long run it will help. Even if you don't feel strong right now, keep telling youself that you are... Ask God for help, and He will help you... I can guarantee that!

Answer 10

well Y!A isnt your solution if your trying to keep your job..

girl get you a cup of black coffee.. pull yourself together and make it through the day... one day at a time is the only way your gonna make it..

heartbreak is tough. we've all been through it but if you let the one you love go and they dont come back then it wasnt meant to be.. it could be right but not right now.. so let him do what he thinks he needs to do and you focus on yourself.. put the drinks down, take a shower and crawl into bed.. cry if you need to.. everything will work out in time.. good luck