I dated Christopher for two years. We were engaged and I was hopelessly in love with him. I would have spent my entire life doing everything I could to make him happy. We broke up because he decided he wasn't ready to get married. We've been broken up for about six months now and two months ago he started dating someone else and about a month ago I met someone and started dating him and I've been really happy with him . Last week my ex called me and told me he wanted me back and he asked me to marry him. I told him I didn't think I could do that now and he's been trying every day to convince me he is ready to love me forever and do whatever it takes to make me happy. I really like my new guy though. He's a lot of fun and I think i could be falling for him but I'm not sure we have enough in common to make it last. Chris was my best friend and I think i could spend my life with him but I'm not ready to let go of my guy now. What should i do? My heart wants them both.
2007-02-05 03:15:16 · 20 answers · asked by curious_and_hopeful 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's a tough one. Well, if your instinct is telling you that there may not be enough in common for the future...I would listen to that. You were with Chris for 2 years...that is quite a long time. Also you haven't been with the other guy that long.
I would go with Chris because he was your best friend and you KNOW him. You might not get this chance back again!
Make a list of the pros and cons for each guy. Chris will probably win!
Also a question I ask all women: Whose *** would you wipe if he broke both arms? That man should be the one you marry because if you were to do that...you love the guy!
2007-02-05 03:19:10 · answer #1 · answered by jessigirl00781 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
You know what, your heart can't want them both. That's your brain talking. Chris broke up with you once because he wasn't ready for commitment. The new guy is fun to be with. Chris was like a "best friend" and the new guy is someone who has different interests than yours. What is important in a relationship to YOU? Look deep in your heart and in your mind. What is good about these men? What do they do that drives you crazy?
Why did Chris all of a sudden call you and propose? Did the girl he was seeing break-up with him? Did he see you happy with someone else and decide that he wanted what he couldn't have? These are things you need to look at.
Either way, don't be in a hurry to get married. Remember, before you can be happy with someone else... you need to be happy with yourself.
2007-02-05 03:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by Gail R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks like your ex found out the grass was greener on the other side but the house wasn't worth living in. Not being ready to get married isn't a good reason to completely break up.
I was with a girl once who was ready to get married but i being 7 years younger was not but we still dated for awhile after that. Now on your new guy it could just be that you like the thrill of being with someone new but remember when you're married someday you will grow old and fine yourself sleeping back to back rather than entwined.
The one you marry should be a friend AND a lover. My wife and i have little in common she's country and i'm city but we make each other laugh and our values are the same.
Pick the one who makes you feel secure and at peace. The one who knows you better than you do.
2007-02-05 03:44:03 · answer #3 · answered by sprydle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Within just a few months, both of you started dating someone else... and now you have strong feelings for a new guy. I don't think you and Chris were meant to be. True love does not just evaporate within a few months. There are men and women serving in the military who go months and months before seeing each other... but they remain true and faithful. You have started to move on, and Chris should do the same.
2007-02-05 03:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in love with Chris and were happy with him, but you two broke up because he was not ready for marriage, then the only thing I would be concerned about now, is if he is ready now. You need to talk to him about what has made him feel ready for marriage. Marriage is a serious commitment and should not be taken lightly. If he can reassure you that he is ready to take a commitment towards marriage, and you love him, then say "YES"....Do not let chances to be with the one you love go by! Good Luck to you!
2007-02-05 03:25:18 · answer #5 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorrry for you. This Chris guy sounds like he broke your heart by saying he wasn't ready. And now he wants you back? I noticed you used the word friend. I think you and Chris would maybebebetter as friends. And you sound happy about the new guy you said you realy liked him. It's hard to let go of the old. But ya gotta go with the one you like more. And Right now i'm not sure which one you like more. I really hope you end up with someone you'll like=]. I know I kinda sound like I don't like the Chris guy but I hope you pick him because he sounds like he is ready or commitment and you said you could spend the rest of your like with him.
Good luck.
2007-02-05 03:21:47 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really like different things about both guys. If you could blend the two together you would probably have your idea of the perfect man.. Ultimately, you will have to make a decision. Are you ready for marriage? By the looks of it, you are not. Take it easy and have fun, but do not string anyone along for a ride that they are not even aware of.
2007-02-05 03:21:59 · answer #7 · answered by James G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like it's his turn to wait for you to make up your mind now! He put you in this position so explain to him that he created the mess and if he really wants it now, he'll have to wait around for you to "clean it up." If you truly love him and he is it then ditch the other guy....if you are not sure then wait it out! Will you be able to love Christopher the same way that you used to or has that detiorated with his actions and decisions? Or are you just dragging this out as resentment for him dating another? Be true to yourself, doesn't sound like you will be having any problems finding a man... you can be as picky as you like! Follow your heart and do what feels right....
2007-02-05 03:24:19 · answer #8 · answered by Betty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chris broke up with you to get time to think. Now you need the same. Tell the new guy what is happening and if he still wants to date you with these thoughts in your mind so be it. Chris will have to wait until you've decided.
2007-02-05 03:20:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OKAY. Here's what ya do. Keep the new guy. Buy a house with a secure uderground dungeon. Lure old guy over with promises of long passionate kisses. Lock him in the dungeon. Feed him occasionally by throwing raw meat into his cage. Ingenius, huh?
2007-02-05 03:33:50 · answer #10 · answered by Jim W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋