We were together 2 years and she broke it off because she got tired of waiting for me to make a committment. I realized too late how much I loved her and have been trying for several months to show her that I've changed and things would be different if given another chance. She has called me several times with problems and the last time she called it was a problem with her current boyfriend. I gave her my opinion and she didn't like what I told her. I guess she really didn't want my opinion, she just wanted me to tell her it would all work out. Other times when we talk, it's just like old times and we laugh and enjoy the conversation. I'm not sure at this point whether to try to keep the friendship since she seems to want it or whether I should just cut all ties so that I can move on. We are both in our 30's so we aren't kids.
2007-02-05 03:04:29 · 5 answers · asked by itsjustme 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Being friends after a break-up is much easier said than done. If she loved you, then she'll want what's best for you and she will ultimately just want you to be happy. sometimes it really helps the healing process. I still want to stay friendly with my ex because I genuinely care about what happens to him, even though he did some pretty crappy stuff to get dumped in the first place. Your ex more than likely knows feels like you have a lot of dirt on her, and vice versa, and staying friends makes the person a little more at ease with you keeping secrets, or just not becoming an overall enemy.
It gets easier... sometimes you have to cut the other person off alrogether. Just take care of you, and she will be okay. She obviously moved on...so should you.
2007-02-05 03:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by j e n n i f e r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may not really know what she wants from you at this point, and it sounds like she may need to grow up a little bit.
If you want to (and it's okay with her boyfriend), you can maintain the friendship, but you should set some boundaries. She shouldn't discuss problems that she has in her relationship with her boyfriend with you. (If you were still together, you wouldn't want her talking about you to some other guy.) You shouldn't do anything that is basically playing like you are a couple. For example, don't go to the movies alone together, and don't take her to anything resembling a romantic dinner. If you are going to spend time together beyond the phone calls, make it lunch in a very public place. Neither of you should get the benefits of a commitment without that commitment. It's possible that her current relationship will just fizzle, and you may get another opportunity. If you do, don't drag your feet--know where you want the relationship to go and how fast and be clear on that.
In the meantime, you should go about your life and not wait for her. Date other women, but don't ask for her advice in your dating relationships. It could be that your feelings for her will fade away. Or perhaps, with some time and a little distance, you will both grow a bit and become more capable of making a relationship with each other work for the long haul.
Best wishes.
2007-02-05 11:19:16 · answer #2 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were obviously a very important part of her life for two years, especially if she was wanting a committment from you. It is not that easy for a girl to throw someone who meant so much to her right out of her life. If all she can be is friends with you, she will take that!
I am certain that she wants to see you happy. I personally believed that my ex didn't see me as wife material and I still knew that I really cared for him.... we went through so many life changing events together, and shaped eachothers lives in certain respects. Not only was he a boyfriend, but a best friend.... It's hard to let that all go, if you want it gone then you will have to make that decision.
Good luck and if you want her back at this point, you will really have to prove your love! Otherwise, move on and find what you are looking for.... time is running out for you now!;) I had to cut all ties with my ex, it's much easier to do it that way until you are certain that romantic feelings are all gone, then you can rebuild the relationship on a strictly friendship level.... much quicker and easier on you without the communication.
2007-02-05 11:15:53 · answer #3 · answered by Betty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
still be friends if u want another chance and u sho=w her u change she can/may come back to u and if he dumps her she needs a shoulder to cry on
2007-02-05 11:10:30 · answer #4 · answered by loves brown eyes♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
short answer...she cares still about you, can't let go....and she is probably keeping you around in case it doesn't work out with the other dude... she wants her cake and to eat it, too.
2007-02-05 11:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by phoenix rising 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋