NO RANTS PLEASE!!
Anyway I have been attending a Pentecostal church since September. Me my fiance and my little girl go. We have plans to get married we were looking at june or april but we have to find the right time since family members have offered to help and what not. Our pastor called us into his office and said "get married or move on" exact words and he said i wasnt seting a good example for my child and that he cant "use me for gods work becasue if i did anything like sang or played an intrument hed be telling ppl that what im doing is ok and its not!!" i was really hurt..but he says "dont be offended its not me,its the word of god..then next sunday he preached about "how he has to say things to ppl..and not to be offended" it was like...sooo about me then he used a WEDDING as an example of the pastors job! (the father of the bride..the church is the bride) He basically said we should go get married at the town hall and not worry about anything else.Am I being too sensetive?
2007-02-05 02:06:03 · 14 answers · asked by ♥Reels O'Ribbon♥ 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
this isnt the only thing they have kinda been pushy about.. I cant wear pants..make up..jewelry...cut my hair...listen to any kind of music that isnt chrisitian..or watch TV shows that arent....really dumb..lol one lady even didnt like her kind to watch Lilo and stitch because a male character wears skirts..lol. We sleopt over our friends house fom the church..we were all going somwhere really early andecided if we all left together it would save time..and the church heard about ti and yelled at them becasue they let us sleep over at their house...its so embarressing....its a little discouraging...and makes us not want to go back...
2007-02-05 02:20:19 · update #1
I am so sorry that this happened to you Meagan.
It is sad that people get as confused as this man obviously is. Be assured that his tiny little version of God is not descriptive of the way God feels about you. The real God is certainly not judging you the way that he is.
One part of his advice is good though. Get as far away from that judgmental thought system as you can. There are many churches that don't Treat people in such a disrespectful way. Find one that appreciates you and treats you with love and respect.
His idea that the beautiful gift from God that your child is, is somehow a sin is nonsensical.
Look at her and tell me that I am wrong.
Love and blessings Don
2007-02-05 02:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he sounds hypocritical but, the church does frown on sex before marriage. Personally, I think it's stupid and one of the many, many reasons a lot of people don't believe in organized religion. If you want to get married in a church, I've heard of several that don't see that as an issue. Unitarian churches are pretty liberal.
Or, have your ceremony in a building you choose, decorate the way you want, and you can still hire a pastor to perform a wedding ceremony.
If you want to go by Christian standards then yes, most everyone is too sensitive. But, if you mean reasonably, then no.
:-) Best Wishes!
2007-02-05 10:21:08 · answer #2 · answered by strpenta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be a bit offended myself. I believe that was his flesh talking to you. The Lord loves you no matter who you are, It's the sin he doesn't like but, needless to say he forgives. You know what you need to do right? You know what you have done wrong, right? Well you don't need to be condemned by someone who should be taking better care of his flock. Try another church, a non-denominational church I feel is the way to go. It's not about having a certain religion name, it's about having a relationship with Christ. Pray about this and expect an answer.
Be Blessed and Rejoice in the Lord
2007-02-05 10:17:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention if you and your fiance are living together. Maybe that is what your pastor meant by setting a bad example, because it is, especially for your little girl. I don't understand the part about singing or playing an instrument because that is NOT God's Word. Songs and music can be a form of worship and praise. Please do not let the ravings of one weaken your faith. Pray about the choices you are making and consider another church. Let God lead you, not a man.
May God Bless you.
2007-02-05 10:19:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We go to a Baptist church. Sometimes our Pastor tries to push me or pull me or coax me into things like driving the bus or helping with sunday school. Thats fine its his job to guide us in the ways of the church just as yours is trying to do. I'm just not ready to do that yet.
Heres the bottom line. God gave you a brain and freewill. Don't get offended by your pastor. You can tell him you're making plans or your not ready yet and its fine that he not use you for the lords work just yet. You'll be happy to wait until after you're married. You don't have to settle for a town hall or justice of the peace just because you have a little girl. You have the right to enjoy the wedding of your choice.
Its your wedding and you're planning on only having one of them in your life so make it what you guys want it to be.
God bless you. Be strong.
2007-02-05 10:19:13 · answer #5 · answered by Doug 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't seem very helpful. You do as you and your partner wish. You have to learn sometimes to be less sensitive and take thinks with a pinch of salt, to get on in life. He may not have meant to offend, some people say thinks without thinking . e.g I get oh have you put on weight, when I'm dieting.I do not know much about your religion, do you think he objects to the wedding or having a child out of wedlock. I was pressured into marriage when i became pregnant, because of my religion
2007-02-05 10:17:44 · answer #6 · answered by ghowson338@btinternet.com 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you're not. Many pentecostal churches have shown insensitivity to many people due to their strict interpretation of the bible. I knew a man who was a very devout individual who was shunned by his church because he had asked a "white woman" out on a date. He wasn't black or brown, he was a light skinned Cuban of Spanish descent. If he didn't tell you he was a Cuban you'd never guess it. But because he never hid his heritage, other members of his church labeled him as "non white" an extremely bigoted thing to do.
2007-02-05 10:13:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya know, I'm so sorry you have been treated in that way. I believe it is not where you worship, pray and give thanks, but that you do it. Find a church that will welcome you, pray with you and take you into the fellowship.
Remember, God loves you and any sin in you was forgiven when you realized Jesus died for you! It is not up to these people to judge you.
God Bless you and may your wedding be a happy one.
Try looking into other churches.
2007-02-05 11:12:01 · answer #8 · answered by June smiles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would definately tell him that seeing as though he has pointed this out, and it came from "God's Word", and he is God's messeger, God must have led him to say what he said,------
so he'd be doing God's work makeing this wrong a right. He should marry you in his church, if he has any other excuses why he wouldn't, I'd find a new church.
2007-02-05 10:12:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't live with your fiance before marriage. One of you should move out until the wedding.
You should set a good example for everyone.
2007-02-05 10:12:56 · answer #10 · answered by L Strunk 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋