Met a guy through an online dating site. Been going out over 5 months and had sex a few times. After 4 months I had such strong feelings for him that I decided not to date anyone else. He told me he had feelings/emotions he was trying to sort out. We never talked about being exclusive but I assumed he was. Last night I asked him if he had "been with" anyone else and he said, "Yes....one time about 3 months ago." My heart is broken and I don't know what to do.
2007-02-05 01:54:14 · 15 answers · asked by Patricia 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He wasn't commited when you were.
Guys like to do it.
2007-02-05 01:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by Work is for Busters 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have all been broken hearted one time or another, like you are now. You need to decide whether to try to save whatever is left of that relationship or move on to another. It is not your fault... but, unfortunately, only you can sort it out... it sounds cruel but it is true, as I found out when it happened to me. What can you do to soften the blow ? Join with your friends... it will help but do NOT run to another relationship too soon. "rebound" relationships never work. Years ago I was with a lady who completely fooled me. Today I am super happily married to another.... so you WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN... hard to believe right now... but at least admit it as a strong possibility... it will help !!!
Finally, meeting people on line does not work. The internet is a world of FANTASY... No one ever is exactly as they represent themselves to be on line. I am at the moment witnessing such a relationship... and I know it will not work out. They are already showing signs of being disappointed with each other
2007-02-05 10:02:46 · answer #2 · answered by RED-CHROME 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...you are not completely exclusive unless you have that talk. My husband and I were not exclusive until we decided on it together...it was only like 2 weeks into it. Meanwhile, I still acted single...he, however, did not...he liked me a lot and was exclusive to me...even though we didn't talk about it yet. I didn't sleep with anyone...didn't have the chance...but I did go out...once we decided on becoming exclusive...that was it...we were officially a couple. Now that you've had that talk with him....now you are official....your relationship starts NOW....not way back then
2007-02-05 09:59:47 · answer #3 · answered by Traci D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did YOU do it? THat is the question that you have to ask yourself.
Why do YOU end up with these types of guys, while everyone else lives happily ever after, with good honest guys. THAT"S the REAL question that you have to answer.
But let me answer your question. because he issues. Because he is confused. Because he is not that into you. simple.
He doesn't "LOVE" you. [Because if he did, he would commit to you and not sleep with anyone else.]
But in my opinion, the problem is not with HIM - he will always be a lying cheating jack-***. THe problem lies with YOU in not seeing what a jack-*** he was when you first met him.
Hope things goes well. I hope you can see my point about looking at yourself in the mirror (figuratively speaking). There are jerks out there everywhere. All you gotta do is avoid them. THAT is the real answer to all your problems.
Anyway, goodluck. Peace.
2007-02-05 10:00:38 · answer #4 · answered by Sparky_3150 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really can't do anything, but feel sad, and that's perfectly normal. He doesn't sound (from what i read) to want to "settle down" with just one woman. I would end things with him. You should establish what each other wants before sex, because it always complicates things. I would have assumed also that after that amount of time you were together you were exclusive. It sounds like he wants his cake and is going to eat it too. You deserve better. Don't settle because your lonely, set your standards high.
2007-02-05 10:05:08 · answer #5 · answered by Lolly07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ended it, with "On-Line Dating".Love isn't On-Line. It's in Your Heart It's in the signs and signals that tell you when it's right. Don't go for looks, emotion or just not being alone. Give the Old Ticker a listen! It won't lie to you. It needs you happy. In order for it to survive. And it doesn't cost a "Thang". (American by Birth. Southerner by the Grace of God!)
2007-02-05 09:59:03 · answer #6 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really know what to say......... except that if someone really cared and respected you........... then I don't believe they would have sex with another person....but maybe I am old fashioned........I'm not a guy....maybe guys think differently.....but when you have met and found someone special......why would you want to mess that up and be with anyone but them.......I would say move on and find someone who respects you a little more.......but as I say....maybe I am old fashioned......to me if I am having sex with someone.....then I don't think I have to speak the words are we exclusive.....it would just be assumed on my part.....just my 2 cents though
2007-02-05 10:04:30 · answer #7 · answered by Mum3grls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys were not exclusive not had no ties to him and really can't say much about it. Maybe you guys need to decide on whether or not your going to be exclusive and if he is not ready for that then move on.
2007-02-05 09:59:27 · answer #8 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you havent discussed being exclusive then you cant blame him fr anything.
you both should have clearly communicated with each other about your intentions.
it seems like you are deeper in than he is....so all i can say is try not be independent with your emotions....dont be 'needy' i hope u know what i mean....you will have to be patient and make sure u find out what he is thinking....and his intentions....just make sure he's not takin you for a ride...
good luck!
2007-02-05 10:04:49 · answer #9 · answered by Jia K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry actually u must not date anyone online. they r generally cheats.i can understand ur feelings.wen ever u see him next time just go up to him and ask him why did he cheat u. if he does not ansers just slap him very hard. let him also realise ur pain.anyway dont mistake me but honestly speaking fault is also on ur side.
Tacke care.be cool try to forget everything.God Be With u.
2007-02-05 10:02:29 · answer #10 · answered by pakistani 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is only about you now, you shouldn't worry about it. The past is the past. I know that you will always have it in your mind but if you keep thinking about it, it will only ruin the relationship and what you have now. Being dedicated to one person takes time, especially for a man. And you have to respect that. If he says he wants to be dedicated to you now, you have to trust that he is.
2007-02-05 10:33:13 · answer #11 · answered by JessiKa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋