My four year old daughter will be starting kindergarten this fall. I have never had her in preschool or?

Question

daycare. We have always made an effort to work seperate shifts or get help from her grandparents if we needed a babysitter. I am absolutley terrified of her going to school. We are very close and I feel like something is going to happen to her at school, on the bus, etc. Is this normal fear or am I being silly. I have considered homeschooling her but I do not want her to miss out on sports,friends, etc. How do I let her know that school is a good thing when I am feeling what I feel about it?

Answer 1

Relax Mommy. :-)
It sounds like you're anxious about your little girl being away from you for the first time. It might be a good idea for you to go tour the school and meet the teachers. Take a list of questions you might have about how things run, what she should know before starting school, etc. This may make you feel more comfortable with letting her out into the world.

Answer 2

This is an especially difficult time---for you! Your daughter will be fine. Your daughter will take her cues from you. If you're worried, scared and apprehensive about school, then so will your daughter. Children are very perceptive so get ahold of your emotions now. Starting kindergarten without ever being in preschool or daycare can be a difficult transition. Try to enroll her in a preschool for two days a week. They're usually only for a few hours and it will give her some experience dealing with a school-type atmosphere. It would be best for her to become accustomed to school when there aren't any pressures (learning, listening, following directions and expectations) from kindergarten. Our schools offer a summer school for rising kindergarteners to help them feel comfortable with school. They have an open house beforehand where the children get to take a trial ride on the bus, meet their classmates and teacher. They say this is for the children, but it helps the parents also to let go a little bit. If there is nothing like that available in your area, maybe at a recreation center there are some art or craft classes that will give her insight into a classroom and separate from you a little. It's hard to give up some control of your sweet little ones, but it's really better for the children. They are so proud of themselves and feel like "big" kids. You'll see your child's self-esteem rise and be proud. It'll be easier for you and more importantly for your daughter if her first experience with school isn't also her first experience with being with someone other than family member. You're a caring mother. Good Luck!

Answer 3

That is normal fear. I never had my oldest son in preschool or daycare either. He went straight into Kinder and I was soooo worried. But everything turned out great. I now have him and my 7 year old in school and I have a 3 year old and a baby on the way. I am going to homeschool my kids starting next year because of certain issues with my oldest son. I dont think you have to worry about the socializing part or anything like that. You can put her into sports, and anything else you would like her in, and it you attend a church you can have her in the childrens activities. I know lots of homeschooled kids and they have social lives. They have plenty of friends. Also some places have Homeschooling support groups and in those groups they have basketball teams and other sports for the homeschoolers and they can play against private schools, etc.. Its a really good thing. If you worry like me, then in a few years you may be worrying about other children bullying her, etc..... My oldest son has a high functioning autism, so that is why we are going to do the homeschooling, but if he made it ok in Kinder without being in daycare or preschool, then I think your daughter will be fine..:)

Answer 4

Spend $40 and get Pandora PC. It is a program that you can run stealth and it tracks everything that your computer does-- from instant messaging programs to emails to websites to things he's typed in the search bar or even erased from history. Or get rid of the internet or lock/ password protect your computers and don't use some password that is easily figured out. Come up with a random set of letters and numbers that there is no way he'd be able to figure it out and lock it up when he is home alone. I wouldn't leave him alone with your daughter EVER. I very seriously doubt he is feeling guilty for what he's done. It takes a sick person to sit there and watch that crap with a child in the room. You need to think about the effects it will have on her and say to H*** with him. It's a sad thing when a 3 year old can tell you more about sex than most people you know or when they start experimenting at early ages b/c that's what they see and we all know that "monkey see, monkey do". If he won't go to counseling, I'd seriously consider a divorce.

Answer 5

Lots of parents have a hard time sending their "babies" off to school. You might try enrolling her in some kind of a class this summer (there are gyms for kids, and soccer classes, art classes - all kinds of things) - just so she has SOME sort of group interaction before her first day of school. And very often with classes - they'll let Mom and/or Dad hang around awhile. This might give her some experience - and help to ease your fear a bit.

Since you KNOW that school is a good thing (didn't you do it?) - then even though you have some fears about it - it's very important to not transfer your fear to her. Every Mom I know who is scared of spiders - has a daughter who is scared of spiders. Hmmmmmm. Don't transfer your fear. Start thinking about all of the positive things about school now - and start talking about them to her. She'll get to play with other kids. She'll get to learn. She'll get to ride the bus all by herself (although - if you WANT to drive her - that is fine), there will be lots of great art supplies there - etc. Maybe by talking about it in a positive way - you'll even start to convince yourself.

It's not silly to feel what you're feeling. But transferring your fear to her is not healthy - so work hard not to let that happen. Just the fact that you asked this question - tells me that you're on the right track!

Answer 6

I felt the exact same way. It's called separation anxiety, and mommy can get it just as much as the child!
If you home school her, she will not miss out on sports and friends. There are groups of parents that homeschool their children that get together for specific activities and such, so there will be social things available for her.
Your fear is normal. I still fear it and my daugher is 5 now and she's in the middle of her first year of kindergarden, but she did go to Headstart, and I'm so glad she did because she did get a taste of the social aspect of school.
Actually, she anticipated it and couldn't wait to go. I was the one that needed soothing when she first started going. Best wishes!

Answer 7

I'm sure your school would love to have you volunteer. My oldest is in kindergarten and I was very nervous about him being there. We talked about what kinds of people make good friends and he found a best friend in his class. I couldn't have picked a better friend for him. Since I'm at the school helping with center time 2X a week and I even do lunch duty, I see what's happening at it totally eases my mind. When she sees you at school, she see that you're okay with kindergarten, so she should be too. Don't think you're being silly. Adjustments can take time, but you'll both be fine! Best of luck.

Answer 8

Mine didn't have any preschool either. There is a summer school program at our school to introduce young ones comming into kindergarten into school things. Ours lasted for 6 weeks and was 4 days a week and only in the mornings. It was great for him to see what it was like to be in a class room and he's doing great in school now.
It is not silly to worry about your baby! It had me terrified when my first went to school! I was so worried that he wouldn't be able to open his own milk, carry his lunch tray, or that someone would pick on him. I'm sure you can remember how scary the first day of school is at any age, well, you made it just fine and so will your baby girl.
I bet she's going to just LOVE school!!!

Answer 9

Sorry but I think that by not putting her in Preschool you have done her a disservice. Studies have proven that children who went to preschool develop and adjust better to school. I would start her now a couple of days a week if you could. Why not try this and see how she handles the experience and then you can decide if you want to home school or not. I bet that she will love it!

Answer 10

What you are feeling is normal.. I felt the same way. My son did go to a daycare in someone's home, but he was always around older children. He loves pre-k and making all his new friends was very exciting for him. He appreciates the learning process as well. I was a nervous wreck for about 2 wks, but realized it was the best thing for us both. Things will work out and she will be fine. Pre-k is fun for them and they enjoy it. Good luck!!