My boyfriend looked me in the eyes and lied?

Question

We have been together for over 3 years.
we have a lot of problems, some my fault, some his fault.
In arguments he has often told me that he has cheated, or that he calls other girls because I am boring. He has also told me, in an argument, that he still has feeling for his ex and I will never compare to her.
All of these things hurt me a lot, he later says that these things are meant to me to upset me but are NOT true.

I know its wrong, but because I feel so insecure from all these things he keeps telling me I have looked through his phone a few times. And every time I find a txt from a girl asking when they are meeting up, or i can see that he has been calling his ex.

I have politely confronted him several times and asked him to tell me the truth, or explain y he is calling his ex after 4+ years apart.
He just goes mad telling me im crazy and paranoid.
I even asked him to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth. He looked me in the eye and lied!
What should I do?!

Answer 1

Leave him..he is a lying cheating scumbag ratbag...get yourself to the Health Clinic in case he has given you an STD.

Answer 2

Sometime during conflict people say things to each other out of anger. Most of the things that are said during this time is simply not true, but said only to hurt the person that upsets us. Although, other people use this as a way to say "ha ha look what I have done" and then proceed to reveal all the things they did. So, I can understand how you are left not knowing if the things he said to you are the truth or a lie. Finding phone numbers and text messages from his ex-girlfriend and other girls is a strong indication that he has been deceptive. Could be he calls them due to frustration in his relationship with you, which is no excuse. I would go with thinking he is lying. You have to decide what it is you want. If your decision is to stay with him, then believe me, you will have a life of always being unsure, not knowing, etc etc. If you decide not to be with him, there will be heartache for sure, but at least you have a good chance of moving on and finding peace and happiness with someone who will love and respect you. Whatever you decide, I do wish you the best.

Answer 3

I think that you really want to hear us back you up and help you decide to dump him. Three years is a long time, there are a lot of people who are not married for three years. You have to make him understand that this abusive behavior is a deal breaker. There are lines that we don't cross because we value our relationship with another person. Your bf is disrespecting you, your relationship, and is being downright childish. After all of the things that you have overcome together he still does this?

You politely confronted him huh? This is a controlling guy. You probably need to be far far away from him. You shouldn't be so easily led by any guy even though that is probably the role that you like to have. You should have run to him, thrust his phone 2 inches from his face and shown him that you knew after he lied. Slam that phone on the floor, smash it with the heel of your high heeled shoe on your way to the car. Tell him if he ever wants to talk to you again he'll have to re-earn your trust. That cheating bastard doesn't deserve you.

Answer 4

Re-read what you wrote. Ask yourself why you stay in an abusive relationship. Do you feel as if you do not deserve any better than to be treated this way? Do you honestly think he loves you? Any one who can look you in the eyes and lie is a pathological liar. They have no conscience and do not possess the ability to care about anyone. Leave him and find someone else who will act like a caring human being. The person you are with will never change. Whether you believe me or not, there are individuals who become addicted to the drama that goes on in their lives as the feeling of being up and down is a high. Are you one of these people who have become addicted to the euphoric feeling that you get when you think he loves you and everything is wonderful after being down in the dumps after he has pulled you down with the pain of abusing you? It is a cycle that only you have the ability to break.

Answer 5

He's told you he's cheated, told you that you don't compare to his ex, calls other girls, you have proof he's getting texts from girls. Then he says these things aren't true, he just says them to hurt you?
GET THE HELL OUT!!!!!
Nothing good can come from being with a guy like that. Once you break up (which i hope you do) and after a while of being alone(which you definitely need)and you (eventually)start a new relationship (which will happen) you will find yourself doubting his every move(which you will). Do you get it? The guy you are with right now is ruining you emotionally and ruining your future relationships. You are not dependent on him. Love yourself enough and know that you don't need this negative energy hanging around you. Start Spring Cleaning early ,baby. Good luck.

Answer 6

You should read your own question. Check out the parts where he has confessed cheating on you, where he flat out told you he calls other girls, or where he states it is his right to do this because you are boring. You don't need to snoop through his phone for proof he has already confessed. So I think the real question is WHY do you want to stay with him when he is going to cheat on you?

Everyone deserves some self worth, you are better than this relationship, you are not boring, you and he just seem incompatible. It may just be time for you and him to part ways and for you to take some time for figure out who you really are and what you're looking for. And if you do take my advice and breakup do not fall for it when he tells you he doesn't want you to go and he will change just stay with him - they all do that if they are not doing the breaking up. if you break up and then go back it will only be worse because he will KNOW he has you wrapped around his finger.

You need to find the value in yourself - you don't need someone else to give you value.

Answer 7

What any man (or Woman) says when they are mad is truth. If he tells you things like this he #1 is wanting to hurt you and #2 telling you how he really feels. Confronting this man is not going to make any of your problems disappear. If any thing it could only hurt you worse. You know this man that you love so much is going to keep lying to you and most likely keep cheating in one form or another. Hun, your best way out of this hurtful situation is to get moving.... pack your stuff and hit the road. I wish you all the luck in the world. Dont stay in a relationship where you are being belittled and lied to. You are worth more than that!! Your insecurity will try to make you stay, but you need to get out!!

Answer 8

You have a few choices...

Grow up, learn to trust your man and get rid of these stupid thoughts. make your mind up to let go of these accusations. Cook him a romantic meal and ask for fogiveness...

Or...

Go with your gut instinct that he is cheating, tell him that he has to tell you the truth or you are leaving (have a bag packed for better effect), give him an ultimatum. If he decides you aren't worth it grab your bags and leave. Go out partying and find a new man!

Or...

Ring all the women in his phone to see if he is seeing someone.

Or...

Get really close to his mates and try and fish out the details from them.

Or...

Tell him (Or do) you've cheated on him and it was the best se* ever. You want a new man and have found one you get on with. See how he likes it! <<< This will normally make the guy either try a hell of a lot harder or it will make him upset either way you can use it to your benefit!

Answer 9

I'm sorry but this man clearly has very little respect for you. I'm sure you love him, after all you wouldn't be putting up his behaviour otherwise but you are worth so much more than that. No one deserves to be treated like that no matter what problems the two of you are having. You need to lay your cards on the table. Tell him you ain't taking anymore of this. You can't trust him if he can look you in the eyes and lie to you. Much though it'll hurt you're better off without a man like that, trust me i know, been in much the same situation myself. Stay strong and keep smiling. Good luck

Answer 10

I had this sort of problem with my boyfriend we got on great and he took me away to paris for a romantic weekend when his phone went off and it was his ex.
Bottom line I told him its either me or her, he couldn't see what the big deal was - don't take it personally honey men are just stupid, but as i thought he would he stopped all contact with her, his phone is no longer of limits to me and we are so happy and soon about to move in together.
Just tell him to choose and if he refused to like mine did at first keep pursuing because in the end he will make the right choice and if its not you then he is no where near good enough for you.

Answer 11

You need to decide if your relationship is worth the hassle and grief and whether you'd be better off if you cut loose and moved on. Let's face it, lying with a straight face, using Tony Blair, John Reid and Gordon Brown as prime examples, takes a lot of guts and effort and you have to be really brave to do that. The ONLY reason you do that is to hide your incompetence.

The lying has started and now that he has made it into an art form I am afraid that it will continue and honestly think it's best if you moved on.