Pet's death and the average 3.5 year old.?

Question

Over the weekend, we had to put our very sick 9 year old boxer to sleep. How do I explain this to my 3.5 year old daughter? Any advice would be welcomed and appreciated.

Answer 1

I am so sorry for your loss!

While it is difficult for children this age to fully grasp the concept of death, it is important that you tell her the truth. "I have some very sad news. Our dog was very ill and died." You don't need to tell her that you had to put the dog to sleep. You can explain to her that some things like cut flowers and plants live a short time, birds live a little longer, dogs live several years, but people live a long long time. Depending on your beliefs, you may want to tell her that "Heaven needed our dog to help them." If she wants to talk about it or you see that he is feeling upset, empathize with her about her loss. "I know you are feeling very (upset, sad, hurt) about this. Mommy feels sad too. We will miss him so much." Answer any questions she has with a simple answer. Give her lots of extra love and support. She will need to grieve.

There are several good children's books that talk about death. Lifetimes-Bryan Mellanie, I Miss You-Pat Thomas, I’ll Always Love You-Hans Wihelm are some of my favorites. They are great books that help young children understand about loss and grieving. I hope this helps. Again, I am so sorry.

Answer 2

I'm very sorry to hear about your dog. Possibly just tell your daughter that the dog was sick and is in a better place now. If you and your family believe in "heaven", even explain how the dog went to dog heaven. Because she is so young, if you can, you should possibly take her to the pet store to pick out a new puppy. This will be enjoyable for her because puppy's are much more high spirited and playful. This will help her cope with the loss of her dog and also keep her entertained.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Although it may seem harsh, I would suggest telling her the truth because death is an inevitable part of life. She may not be old enough to completely understand, but at least maybe you can help her begin to understand. If your family believes in heaven, then you can incorporate that as well...let her know that the dog is now in a better place. Help her to understand that all living things will perish at some point in time...just be gentle with your words and patient with her because chances are she will continue to ask questions.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Hmm...I assume she doesn't even yet know the meaning of "dead". I actually recall when I was 3 when my grandfather died...it was my first experience with death, and I specifically recall NOT "getting it". The idea of "asleep forever and will never again wake up" baffled me..."So, wake him up!"
I'd say this...don't lie to her, but at the same time, don't get mad at her if she continuously questions you about why you're not "waking the dog up". You may want to avoid the term "put to sleep" altogether...it's hard enough for a 3 year old to understand without having to explain euthanasia as well.