Why do men treat women like crap, but yet still want to be their friend?

Question

I thought I had a boyfriend, but yet he would get up in the middle of the night to write someone else a email and tell me not to be offended, we do not live together, thank goodness, then the IM's stopped, the phone calls came late at night, the emails stopped, then I get a email telling me he only loved me as a sister, not as a lover.

Answer 1

Well ya win some ya lose some...I guess. I wouldn't say all men do that

Answer 2

Fortunately that is NOT all men. I was married for 21 years and NEVER had a secret from my wife. SHE had all kinds of secrets from me, I am finding out now. For almost two years she or my oldest daughter would spy on me at work, trying to prove I was messing around. They never found any proof because nothing was happening. Then she started telling my daughter how I used to ask her friends for threesomes. Her friends never recall this happening because it didn't. Finally, her cheating became really obvious, it may have just started but it was obvious when she "prohibited me" from being seen in public with her and started coming home at 8AM. Then there were the porn videos in her trunk. I loved her and respected her. She would get upset when I said she was the most important person in the world to me. "How can I be more important than your children", she would argue. To me it was simple, without her I wouldn't have those children. She was NEVER perfect, but neither was I. I accepted her flaws because I admit mine. We lasted 21 years, but the last five were hell. I thought she was MORE than a friend. I THOUGHT SHE WAS MY QUEEN, and I treated her the best I could. Unfortunately men AND women like that exist. Fortunately that is NOT all men or women.

Answer 3

because as women we think that is the way it is suppose to be.....you don't have to be treated like crap form any guy....nor should we treat guys that way as well. Just move on, and always respect yourself by the manner in which you dress and behave. Guys always love a woman/girl who shows self confidence. You also do not have to have sex with them....you are nto the type of person he wants to take home to meet the parents if you do. Guys still want a virgin, but they want to play around too....but usually once they get you in bed...thats it...they are finished with you and will move on to the next girl to do the same thing with her and he will continue to behave this way until he is ready to settle down, and he will then look for a conservative female.

Answer 4

Sounds like he is one immature boy, he ll grow up sooner or later. he is probably telling he loves you like a sister to prepare himself on coping with avoiding the guilt trip he is about to embark if he has nt already started. You see, if he tells himself he loves you like a sister that will excuse any number of behaviours. Believe me, i got that line too, by email. When i approached him face to face he cried like a baby cos he had been a twit and somehow thought he had avoided any level of pain by telling me that. Fool. And they still want you to be their friend cos they convince themshelves that they are not such bad people. Being his friend tells him that your hurt and disappointment didnt really matter. Let him live with the consequences of his actions and say goodbye. You sound like a strong, smart girl and you deserve someone better and a hell of a lot smarter than him.

Answer 5

Some men are like this. But one could say the same thing about women.

You are hurt and blaming all of the men for being like this, which is understandable given the situation.

Just move on and find you a better man. Don't label all of us as being this way cause we aren't all like this.

Answer 6

form a guys point of view:

the worst you treat a woman the more she respects you.
women don't wnat some little wussie tyoe guy.

they want someone with character - different form the rest.
someone who stands out in teh crowd ( even if it is via negative attention)
women love the attention - even negative stuff

and they wnat someone who will loving take the lead (especially in the bedroom - guide them and tell them what they want)

now - shutup and go get me a beer! or I'm out of here!

Answer 7

Karen, maybe I can explain this to you. There is a web site called Double Your Dating. The author/founder philosophy is this: that it is strangely true that some though not all women respond positively to men whom tease and put them down.

Answer 8

When you find out the answer to your question, please let me know. There are some guys out there who want to have their cake and eat it, too. We deserve better than that, but we also have to stand up for ourselves and let those type of guys know that no, it's not okay to want to be friends after they've played with our emotions like that. It's not cool for them to have the best of both worlds. Mr. Right will come along for you, too, don't worry.

Answer 9

Well I would resent that if the evidence didn't prove that many men and woman are *******. But don't worry I'm sure you'll find a guy that can be everything for you.

Answer 10

WHEN A MAN TREAT A WOMEN THIS WAY AND TRY TO STAY CONNECTED IT'S BECAUSE HE KNOW HE CAN COME BACK FOR WHAT EVER HE NEED. THIS IS CALL (USING). YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE FRIENDS FIRST, THAT WAY YOU GET TO KNOW A PERSON AND WHAT THEY ARE ALL ABOUT BEFORE YOU GIVE YOURSELF TO THEM. SEX IS NOT EVERYTHING AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT THEY WILL TAKE IT AND STILL LEAVE YOU FOR SOMEONE. BE HAPPY FOR YOURSELF NO ONE ELSE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY.

Answer 11

Sex Fascination—The Disease of the Modern Age.

Sex is the overwhelming obsession of modern society. Sexual promiscuity is so unrelentingly stressed that anyone who does not appear to the highly interested in it is generally considered to be a crank. Social pressure induces people to try to maintain juvenile lustiness long after the sensual high of youth has subsided. Thus millions of people remain emotionally immature all their lives. It is a sick world.

Constant titillation of the senses, however, increasingly dulls the spirit. Thus, despite all the celluloid promises, people find themselves cheated of real happiness. In adolescence, when the senses appear to have unlimited power to invoke euphoric delights, happiness through sense enjoyment seems not only to be a distinct possibility, but the very meaning of life. But the pleasures of youth, as the poets lament, is but a fleeting frolic. The ability of the body to enjoy is like a water-laden sponge. At first, if you just pinch it, water gushes out. But as it is squeezed more and more, it gradually becomes difficult to get even a few drops of water from it.

Similarly, attempts for sexual enjoyment increasingly result in emptiness and frustration. Still, most people fail to recognize the limits of sexual enjoyment. Due to their misdirected education, they think that their lack of satisfaction with sex means there is something wrong in their approach to it. They may end up on a psychologist’s couch or reading some of the hundreds of books on “improved” sex life (Yoga for Sex, Tao for Sex, The Modern Woman’s Guide to Sex, A Doctor’s Sex Secrets, Diet for Better Sex, etc.). However, the harder they grope for pleasure, the more surely it eludes them. As they furiously try to force their bodies into giving them the happiness which they regard as a natural birthright, they may turn to frequent masturbation, increased promiscuity, pornography, varieties of perversity, and ultimately violence.

Actual civilization teaches its members to sublimate their sexual desires for higher, spiritual purposes. Modern civilization exploits people’s sexual cravings, makes a business out of it, and sends people to hell by the millions.

Seeing all this, the Vaisnavas are sorry. If only people could understand this simple fact: We are all eternal servants of Krsna. Our sexual desire is simply a perverted reflection of our heart’s deepest longings to love Krsna. If we just knew this we could all be happy. But in the darkness of the modern age it is very difficult to convince anyone that there is anything wrong with sex at all.

If you want to live in a Vaisnava monastery, then please e-mail me at [e-mail]