My fiance is a fine dining chef, that means he is very particular about the food served at our wedding and it's one of the things he is taking responsibility for planning. He wants to ask his good friend (who is also a chef) to help him cook the wedding meal (it's very small, 20 guests max) but I feel it is cheeky to ask a friend to work at your wedding. Although the meal is only a small part of the event, I don't want to offend anyone by asking them to work, they are meant to be a guest, but we would pay him to cook. What do you think? Cheeky or not? We have got alternative ideas for catering, but my fiance admires this chef's skills, and he thinks it is not cheeky to ask a friend to work (as we will pay him for his time).
2007-02-04 23:20:30 · 35 answers · asked by sparkleythings_4you 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't think it is "cheeky" for a number of reasons...
1-obviously your fiancee doesn't feel that his friend would be offended or he wouldn't consider asking him
2-obviously this man loves to cook! And for such a small number of guests, I'm sure it would be "no big deal"...not like a 300-400+ guest list!
3-I'm sure he would be honored and that could be his "gift" to the both of you. I know that it makes me feel quite flattered when my friends/family ask me for my talents/services with something so important as planning/decorating or ideas for their special day! It doesn't make me feel put upon in any way or like "less" of a guest....quite the opposite actually! And I never expect them to pay me....as I said for him, it usually just becomes my gift to them which is a great help to them as well.
4-you know he'll do things the way you want them done and do it well. There will be an extra amt of care and attention that goes into what and how he does it....you won't have to worry that you'll have to "chaperone" everything he does to make sure it's right, you'll be able to relax and trust in his skills.
My brother is an excellent classical musician and works as band instructor...he and a friend have just started up their own "classical orchestra" and play for weddings/reunions/upscale holiday parties...I am in the process of planning my own wedding, we are having both the ceremony and the reception at my parents house...about 125 guests or so...don't think I'm not going to ask my brother if he could supply some elegant ceremony music w/a nice trio or quartet at least! (We don't want the WHOLE 16pc orchestra! LOL!)
2007-02-04 23:39:03 · answer #1 · answered by secret_oktober_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's best if your fiance' talks to your friend and tells him how he wants his wedding feast to be spectacular and he is the only person that he trusts with this task and would he do you both the honour of preparing your wedding menu? Also point out that you will of course pay him and would be grateful if he joined your guests at the wedding (seat him somewhere special) either during the main meal/dessert course or afterwards. Make sure he is mentioned in your speeches! Even though you are paying him, he is doing you a big favour working at your wedding when he should be relaxing as a guest and enjoying himself.
2007-02-04 23:35:41 · answer #2 · answered by cupcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say it would be more of a compliment than a cheek, just make sure while asking him that you explain your reasons for wanting him to do the cooking ie that you and your husband want the best and think hes the best and all that and i'm sure he already knows how particular your fiance is if they are both chefs, if it was me i'd be delighted and honoured that i was even thought of and sure he can enjoy the rest of the night once the meal is finished. congratulations on your wedding i hope you have a great day :--)
2007-02-04 23:43:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given the occupation, I don't think it is too cheeky. I think it's important to ask him properly, make it clear that he is perfectly entitled to say no if he would rather attend as a guest. It's possible he will be as fussy as your fiance, and would be honoured to do the job! After, being an usher or best man or bridesmaid is also a job on the day, and that's normally covered by friends and family - this is not much different.
2007-02-04 23:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by cuddles_gb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eh, if you're paying him and your fiance makes it clear that he wants him to cook because he admires his kitchen skills, then hell, let him ask, but make sure he's not pushy about it. If the friend doesn't want to cook, he shouldn't have to. Besides, your fiance is cooking too isn't it? If the groom is working at his own wedding, it's definitely not cheeky to ask for paid help from a friend.
2007-02-04 23:26:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My DH & I self-catered our wedding & had two friends cook the meal for us. We just approached them & told them that we were wanting to save money and still wanted to serve a good meal. We also told them that we knew they were good cooks and asked if we could hire them to cook for us. Both people were flattered & were willing to help (in fact neither of them would even let us pay them, they said it was their gift to us).
I say, ask the friend. The worst that can happen is he says no.
2007-02-05 01:11:45 · answer #6 · answered by ~M~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it don't beleive it's too cheeky. but maybe, you could have his sous chefs prepeare and serve the meal, using his recipes, that way your friend can go to the wedding too. or just have him prepare the food ahead of time, and other people can serve it. it can count as his wedding gift to the two of you. it's not cheeky at all!
2007-02-05 02:55:59 · answer #7 · answered by Duelen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Putting myself in your friends place, I would be hounered to be asked. I may say no but i would have been dissapointed to find out after the big day youwere going to ask me but didnt cos you were afraid I would be offended, we are friends after all. But I would be hounered that you would like me to help you on your big da, the food at a wedding is very important and I ould be proud to say i helped make your day that little bit more special..
OK getting a bit to into character...dammit I will cook, sandwiches and sausage rolls all round!!!
2007-02-04 23:41:17 · answer #8 · answered by baldman 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that would be cheeky at all. In fact, I think that if you ask him he would be honoured. After all, your wedding is the most important day of your life and you obviously have a lot of faith in this friend.
Explain to him why you would like him to do it and I think he would be more than happy to do it!
Good luck and hope you have a wonderful day!!
2007-02-04 23:30:39 · answer #9 · answered by fat_arse 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i don't think you are being too cheeky, so long as you make it clear to him that you want him to do this because you admire his skills as a chef, and as soon as the meal is over you would want him to join the festivities,make a point of thanking him in the speech and a personal gift reminding him of the special day would no doubt be appreciated.
2007-02-04 23:50:20 · answer #10 · answered by son of grace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋